She told me so

Toof
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Several weeks ago, Beth came over for lunch. I was telling her about the latest thing with Shepherd putting everything in his mouth and drooling a lot. She said "teething" with an evil grin on her face that said, "I know the hell you're about to go through". I shrugged it off, saying it couldn't possibly be teething as my son at that point was only 3 1/2 months old. No way was he close to teething. Then, while on vacation, the tooth emmerged. It started while we were on our way to NC after our cousin's wedding, and Shepherd nearly screamed the whole way. I finally gave him some Tylenol thinking maybe, just maybe, it really was a tooth. He promptly passed out from the sheer relief that the pain! had stopped. So, I felt his gums that night, and low and behold, a bulge. So we kept him on Tylenol as regular as possible, and that seemed to help... then added some homeopathic teething tablets when I got worried we were giving the child too many drugs. Those tablets?! A total God-send. Then, two days later... a tooth emerged. Who knew that baby teeth are razor sharp??? and that babies bite when nursing after getting a tooth??? Oh well... so, we officially have a tooth... and after many, many attempts at documenting evidence of said tooth, we finally got some good ones... and proof that indeed, Beth was right... He was teething all along,,,,

Beach Bums

Well... tomorrow morning, we leave for the beach. Well, actually, we leave to go to my cousin's wedding and then we go to the beach on Sunday... but still. Tomorrow puts us on the road towards the beach. :) So. SO. SOOOO. excited.

Anyways... we'll have no internet at the beach, which actually... I'm not too bummed about. Actually might be nice to really get away for a week. I mean, I'll totally miss you, and all, but sometimes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, eh? :) Anyways....
I leave you with this picture... of the cutest kid EVAH... all clean and ready to travel!!! Y'all have a great week!!!!

Slacker

Sorry for the lack of bloggin' lately, I've been way distracted by preparing for our beach trip. Who knew that taking a kid on a week long vacation would take so much time in preparation? Oh, you did? There in the back? Why didn't you warn me?! Jerk!

Anyways, so all week, I've been making lists, packing, and sorting things to take to the beach. I'm taking Beth and Chris' suggestion, and read The Ha-Ha while at the beach. I went ahead and started it (just to suck me in early), and already, it's awesome. I'm also taking Jimmy Carter's latest book, Our Endagered Values and Anne Lamott's book,Blue Shoe. I'm excited about that last one because Anne Lamott rocks my face off (no, really, she does). If you have a chance to read her other books, Traveling Mercies and Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith, I'm sure you'll be blown away at what she has to say. She's totally not what you'd expect from a Christian woman, being pro-choice, anti-Bush, and in general, very, very, very radical. I *heart* Anne Lamott, and would give her a big fat kiss if I saw her. But yes, I'm taking 3 books... because I'm good like that, and I'm a fast reader. Anyways... moving on.

So, after assembling my books, I gathered a few DVD's, you know, in case it rains or something... Forrest got the first season of Boston Legal, which should make for some good boob-tube watching. Then, of course, my favorite... Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Friends. Not that we'll watch all of it, but man, it's good to have around when the conversation turns to politics and we're near blows... :) But that won't happen, right?! No... we're a perfect American family, and we all vote the same way (BWAH!!!!!!!)

And then of course, you've got the baby equipment, which, we won't even go there... and the beach chairs, and yada yada yada... you've got the car packed to the hilt.

My question... should you choose to answer it, is this:

What are some good summertime/beach songs? I'm trying to come up with a playlist to have down there, and so far? Just some Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley... oh, and this one song by Shakira that I can't get out of my head (sorry to those of you who don't like it, but honestly? I love that song). Do you have any summer favorites?! PuLEASE let me know because right now our playlist is pretty lame.

4 months

Shepherd,

Today, you turn 4 months old. I cannot believe that you are that old. It seems like only yesterday that we were finding out we were pregnant with you, but last I checked, it was one year ago yesterday that we found out. We were at your great-grandfather's house celebrating Fathers Day, when mommy took a test in the bathroom of their house, not expecting to see much of anything. The test came back positive, with two pink lines on it, and I ran to get your father to tell him. We were both excited and terrified at the same time. We told all of your grandparents, who were more than excited to get the news. A year later, you're here, and growing so big!

We went to the doctor yesterday for your 4 month checkup. You weighed 15 pounds and 4 ounces. You have officially doubled your birth weight. You also have grown tall! You are now 25 and a 1/4 inches tall. You've grown 5 inches long! As the doctor was checking you out, I tried to visualize in my minds eye what 5 inches was, and how small you once were, and I was amazed. The doctor was very impressed with you. She said you were a very happy baby and a very active little booger. In her words, you're going to get very dangerous very soon. You see, you are already sitting up by holding yourself up like a tripod. You're already rolling front to back and back to front. And, you push yourself up on your knees when you are on your stomach, face planting yourself across the room. Some of these skills are 5-6 month skills, and the doctor said she was happy to see you progressing so rapidly! She said that daddy and mommy were right to start you on rice cereal because you need those extra calories! You burn them off so fast with all of your activity.

The hardest part was the shots that you had to get. It was a little easier watching you get the shots this time, but it still hurt me to see you cry. You calmed down very fast, and then promptly took a nap. When we got home, you woke up from your nap and were very grumpy. I picked you up and you started wailing. I looked at your little legs, and they were red and swollen from the pain of the shots. So I gave you some tylenol, and held you while you screamed. You cried like that for a long time, until you finally cried yourself to sleep. I held you while you slept, and just marveled at how much you've changed. You are beautiful... I know boys (and even men) hate that being said about them.... they want to be HANDSOME! which, you are! But you are also a very beautiful child. After a while, I put you down in your crib, and finished some chores around the house. I was interrupted by you waking up screaming... and I rushed in to swoop you up. As soon as you were in my arms, you calmed down, and just curled up and let me hold you. It was then I realized that you haven't let me hold you like that in a while. Normally, you're so eager to be down rolling, or in the excersaucer playing. So I held you, and we rocked. We just sat there staring at each other for the longest time. I know you probably will never remember that, but I will. I will always remember how wonderful it is to be held captive by your eyes. When you look at me, I know you love me, and you love me despite everything I don't love about myself. Your love isn't conditional, and I'm amazed by that.

This morning, we woke up, and I looked at you while you slept between daddy and me. Your cheeks were flushed from the slight fever from the shots, and I realized how incapable I am of loving you to the fullest. It is only with God's help that any of us love a child. I know that love exists beyond my heart, because I feel it. I feel the overflow of love from my heart into my soul and beyond me, and I'm certain that it's like that because God helps us. God loves us, therefore we love others. God loves you, my son. Just like he loves every single person in this world (yes, even the bad people)... he loves you. I hope one day, you'll understand that. I hope that one day, you'll know what it's like to hold a tiny baby in your arms, and realize that the love you have for that child isn't just yours.. but the pouring out of God's love through us.

I love you, Shepherd, with all of my heart...


Happy Four Month Birthday!!

Love,
Mommy

Happy Fathers Day, Honey

Forrest,

I know how incredibly hard you've been working lately. Between late nights with Shepherd, and late nights at work, I know you are so tired. But I've been watching you... how amazing you are. How effortlessly you rise every morning to go to work, how little you complain about your work and the long commute... I've seen how when you come home, after kissing me, you rush to sweep your little son up in your arms. I've also seen how much he loves this... how when 6:30 rolls around, he's practically staring at the door, waiting with joyful anticipation for the moment you walk in. I've also seen how Shepherd will no longer allow himself to be rocked to sleep by mommy. Only Daddy is good enough for this job. And I've seen you grow closer to our son because of this. And I've seen you gain confidence because of this. I'll admit, at first I wanted to do everything... but how wonderful it is to step back and see how much closer you are to Shepherd when I step back. You are an AMAZING father... and you're still reletively new to this! Only 4 months ago, you were just a husband, and now? You're so much more... a husband, a father, and our rock. I love you so much, and I'm so glad to be a part of your life... OUR life. So Happy Fathers Day, honey... I promise, we will sleep again one day....

Love,

Corinne

Sleep, glorious sleep

So... yeah. I slept last night. Shepherd slept. And we both woke up so happy, I'm surprised we aren't shooting rainbows and giggles out of our butts. The past three days have to have been the hardest three days in a long time. Not just with the lack of sleeping going on around here, but the dealing with some important issues involving a brief moment where it looked as though I'd have to head back to work. Not a fun topic to deal with. But in the end, we figured a way for me to stay home
That was a close one. Don't scare me like that again mommy.
Also, I've been struggling with my ADHD (go ahead, give me the standard eye-roll and lecture on how overdiagnosed it is, and how overmedicated we as a society are. What you don't know is that I have research to back up the fact that women often aren't diagnosed until early adulthood and even then, sometimes never diagnosed, so nyah, nyah, nyah). It's hard, because while nursing I can't resume my medication, and thusly really struggle to stay orgnanized, or at least maintain some semblance of organization. So, hence the visit to my family doctor in a few weeks to discuss options (giving up nursing? or stay off the meds?)
Y'all want proof of mommy's lack of organization? Exhibit A: Me wearing an oversized pink shirt that looks like a dress on me... because mommy forgot my shirt at home.
Anyways moving on... so last night, we resumed the rice cereal. We had stopped for a while because Shepherd was being so fussy at night, and I didn't know if it was the cereal or something else. He continued to be fussy after a week off of the cereal, so we determined that it wasn't that. So last night? We started over. And 'lo, how happy he was to be eating the gunky rice cereal again. So happy that he'd wave his arms in excitement and try to grab our hands or the spoon to pull it to his mouth... resulting in lots of cereal everywhere (including his hair). But all in all, it was grand.Dude, this stuff is so awesome. Why have you been holding out on me mom?
And after dinner, we had to give him a bath, because seriously, rice cereal in the hair.Dad, could you tell the lady with the camera to please lay off? I'm kinda exposed here...
Then it was off to bed. I don't know if it was a result of the rice cereal, or if it was just a stroke of luck? But Shepherd went to sleep around 8:45 (he ate at 7:45) and didn't wake up until 4:45 this morning to eat. Sleep glorious sleep... To sleep, perchance to dream...
So today? Is looking like a wonderful day... shooting rainbows and gumdrops out of our butts kind of good.

Caught on Camera

Today I actually caught Shepherd giggling on the camera. He thinks mommy is quite funny....

As we were falling asleep

Me: Are you asleep?
Him: Hmm?
Me: G'night, sweetie.
Him: Did you find the alternative air for tires?
Me: (laughing) What?!
Him: Never mind, that didn't make any sense... I'm just really tired
Me: (giggling) okay, g'night... (rolls over)

...a few minutes later

Me: (laughing really hard) You know what?
Him: (sleepily) mmm?
Me: A good alternative air for tires would be all the gasbag politicians in DC.
Him: (confused) I don't get it
Me: They're full of hot air
Both: (laughing very, very hard because we think we're funny)

Shepherd at the Beach

Oh, and of course... the beach :)

Shepherd Eating

He eats, and mom and dad bicker about keeping him clean (embarrassing for us, cute for him... Shepherd 1, Parents 0)

Teething

So, yes, I'm very aware that my son is not even 4 months old (although 16 weeks is 4 months, but that's another story, don't get me started). Already, he's rolling over regularly (i.e. every time we have tummy time, he refuses to stay on his tummy), he's scooting on this back (meaning, I've found him crammed into a corner of the crib several mornings), and requesting food. Yep, requesting food... you read that right. He eats at the table with us every night, and lately has been opening his mouth immitating us. Forrest and I pulled out the baby spoon, and pretended to feed him. He grabbed our hands and shoved the empty spoon in his mouth, and then chewed. So, last night? We gave in and fed him a little cereal.

Judging by that face, you'd think he hated it. But... after a few bites, the child was reaching for the spoon before it got to his mouth and pulling it towards him... he liked it THAT MUCH.


Also? Lately, he's been drooling worse than a St. Bernard, and cramming everything and anything into his mouth. Also? He wants to nurse non-stop. I called the doctor to see if this was normal, because, hey, the kid's already had his 3 month growth-spurt, seems kind of odd to want to nurse that much at this point... plus? It's been more than 3 days w/ the non-stop nursing. She said it sounded like teething, and for me to look in his mouth... Sure enough? His bottom two teeth are coming in.. swollen gums and all. So, YAY! No sleep and sore boobies! :)

Anyways... I'm so glad today is Friday. The weekend is finally here! And best of all? I get to hang out with this hottie and the little cutie....

Reasons I'm thankful to be renting

I often have to remind myself why I'm glad we're renting instead of owning a house. I often dream about owning a little home, complete with cute backyard, patio, and driveway. I also love dreaming about the colors I'd paint the rooms in the house, as I cannot stand blank white walls (the standard in apartment living). I dream of fixing up a kitchen to be exactly what I want it to be, to having a little garden plot where I can grow fresh things like tomatoes, herbs, squash, peppers, and many other yummy veggies I love. I dream of the hardwood floors with beautiful area rugs that our son crawls around on. I dream of bright airy windows, draped with soft, sheer curtains that filter the light in. My dream house isn't big by any means, in fact, it's quite quaint... easily obtainable everywhere but Northern Virginia (and yeah, anywhere north of that, but we're not looking to live up north). My dream home is perfect in my mind.

What I don't dream about is repairs that YOU, the owner, have to make, and pay for. I don't dream about paying someone to fix my refrigerator. I don't dream about paying for someone to fix my A/C, and then two days later, pay for them to come back out and put a whole new A/C unit in. I don't dream about paying for an exterminator to come and fumigate for fleas... fleas which I did not ask for, but the stupid people downstairs caused by feeding 16 feral cats... thus, allowing us, o' fortunate ones that we are, to track in fleas.

No... I don't dream about these things. In fact, I'm quite thankful to pay my rent and have someone else pay for these things. I know, I know, there are so many benefits to owning a house, including equity in your home, but really? At this point in the game, we couldn't afford any of those repairs. Broken A/C? We'd just sit in front of fans the whole summer. Broken refrigerator? We'd just enjoy warm milk! So, yes... I'm a proud tenant. I enjoy being able to call someone else to pay for my problems.

Guest Blogging

Nothing's more intimidating than guest blogging on someone elses site... especially if that someone else gets way more traffic than you do. Anyways... y'all head over to Matthew's site to read my post on family traditions...

Bwa, to the ha, to the hee, hee, hee

This is why I can't laugh at Forrest
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Okay, so I found this picture, along with several others like it on a cd today. They were actually a part of a power-point that my mom put together for our wedding reception. It was both hilarious and humiliating all at once, especially with the picture on the right. I hate this picture. If I'd had my way as a kid, the picture would have long ago been shredded, burned, and tossed off some remote mountain-top for no one to ever lay eyes on. I guess it's a good thing it wasn't because I now can look back at this picture and laugh so hard my sides ache. Go ahead, laugh. You know you want to. :) Anyways... the pictures that mom and my MIL put together actually were pretty good. It was amazing to see how many similar experiences Forrest and I had as kids, and was proof positive that we are soul-mates. And proof positive that Forrest loves me... I mean, he didn't run from the reception hall screaming, and we did have a fabulous honeymoon following some of the most embarrassing pictures of me, ever. Also? There's a marching band picture which I'm trying to summon up the courage to post because, A) I look horrible, B) I must show evidence that I was, in fact, a band geek, and C) I'm terribly afraid that you'll run screaming from you computer (or die laughing) and won't be my friend anymore. Because seriously, y'all... it's THAT bad. Anyways... to see some more pictures of me, and some of Forrest, head on over to our Flickr site and see them

Hmpfh...

I was over at Chris's site this morning, reading about the new Left Behind Games.

Folks, this is all shades of wrong. I mean, I knew LaHaye was a lunatic and all, but this is taking things a bit too far. I think this gets away from what Christianity is all about... Jesus was a pacifist, refusing to engage in any type of military war (which was expected of the Messiah)... he taught about turning the other cheek, about loving others, and issued stern warnings against the "moral majority" of his day. Anyways.... here's a summary of the game:

Wage a war of apocalyptic proportions in LEFT BEHIND: Eternal Forces - a real-time strategy game based upon the best-selling LEFT BEHIND book series created by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. Join the ultimate fight of Good against Evil, commanding Tribulation Forces or the Global Community Peacekeepers, and uncover the truth about the worldwide disappearances!

· Lead the Tribulation Force from the book series , including Rayford, Chloe, Buck and Bruce against Nicolae Carpathia – the AntiChrist.
· Conduct physical & spiritual warfare : using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
· Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
· Command your forces through intense battles across a breathtaking, authentic depiction of New York City .
· Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks!
· Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode – fighting in China Town , SoHo , Uptown and more!
· Play multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!


Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously? A Christian company is promoting violence.... pardon me while I go throw up. This just makes me sick.........

Home Alone

Well, I'm officially bored. Shepherd is sleeping (has been since 6), and Forrest isn't home yet. He's having to work late on a project at work... poor guy, I know he's bound to be exhausted. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. What did I do with my late nights before being married and having a kid? I seem to have forgotten...

So far I've watched The Office marathon on NBC, walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill (yay me!) and capped the evening off with the much awaited brownie (I waited all day for it... again, yay!)

So now? What to do.... what to do... I think I'll go read some new blogs! Have any suggestions?

Redunancies

Okay, so I've started this post 3 times already, and after a few sentences of typing, I throw up my hands and delete everything. My creative dialogue just doesn't seem to be flowing lately, and that may have something to do with Shepherd waking up every 3 hours again. Oh, and also the lack of napping going on around here.

Moving on... last night, I had another one of those, "I'm so fat and ugly, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror" moments, and after 30 minutes of crying, and 30 minutes of consoling by my wonderful husband, I finally was able to admit that when I feel that way, I eat. I eat out of comfort. For instance, I uploaded pictures from the beach the day before yesterday. I saw the pictures of me, in a swimsuit, holding Shepherd in the water. I promptly got up from the computer, baked a batch of brownies, and ate half the pan. *sigh* I also expressed frustration with my inability to focus on anything lately, which is in part due to my ADHD. I was on medication before pregnancy, and in some ways, am glad that I'm no longer dependent on the medication... but in other ways? I kind of miss the ability to focus on a task and get it done. I miss being motivated to do things because I could focus on them for longer than 5 minutes. I know that the power to lose weight is within my reach (and only my reach), just getting there is kind of intimidating. The more we talked, the more I realized that I needed to grab this thing by the horns and do it. So Forrest and I made little notes to put everywhere in the house... on mirrors, inside cabinets, in the fridge, on the fridge, on the computer. We dubbed it Operation Slim Down 2006, starring me. My goal, which I think is totally reasonable, is to lose 1 pound a week until Christmas (if I lose more, great!). Which, if I do succeed, will put me 4 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I am trying so hard to stick with this program, eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water, and exercising. Part of me is sad that it'll take that long to lose my pregnancy weight... because really? I want the weight off Yesterday. Yet, I know that it took 9 months to add the weight to my frame, and it'll take at least as long to lose the weight, if not more time.

So, as I finish typing this (just having gotten back from Weight Watchers), I managed to stay the same weight this week, which is a small miracle in and of itself, considering the copious amounts of full-fat homemade butter pecan ice cream that I ate, in addition to the gobs of grape casserole (yes... it's a casserole, no it's not cooked... and yes, it's divine) that I ate... and the half pan of brownies... So imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale and it read the exact thing as last week. Tears sprung into my eyes, and I jumped for joy because, I know... I KNOW... that this week I will lose....

Long Weekend

We got back yesterday from Charleston, where we had no internet to update you all... which was probably a good thing. It was nice to relax and see family. And Forrest and I took our first plane trip together, ever! :) The weekend went surprisingly well... and left me standing firmly on the ground, and not clinging to the ceiling like a cat. We were able to relax! enjoy! and visit! :) All good things... Shepherd put his feet in the Atlantic Ocean for the first time, we ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp, and enjoyed some beautiful art at the Picallo Spolato (sp?). The only downside was that we came back to our apartment, and the air conditioning wasn't working. So here I sit, sweat running down my back, typing as fast as I can so I can join Shepherd back in front of the fan... Here are some pictures to tide you guys over until I can post again! Slide Show of Trip

9 hours one Monday Night

Again with the 9 hour sleeping... I could get used to this! :) Shepherd went to sleep around 9 last night (ate at 8:30) and woke up this morning at 6 am, ready to eat. I cannot tell you how glorious a feeling it is to sleep that much. I still woke up once after 5 hours to check on him, but went back to sleep until Forrest's alarm clock went off at 5:30 am. Then, hoping Shepherd hadn't heard it, I rolled over and tried to sleep some more. That didn't happen, as Shepherd woke up soon after that. But the good thing? He went back to sleep after I fed him, and slept until 8:30....then around 9:45 he went back to sleep to nap for another hour...

and he's awake now... so i'm gonna go play! YAY!!

List-O-Mania

1) Shepherd slept through the night last night... and by through the night, I mean 9 hours, where I had to wake him up because I was swimming in my boobs. He then went back to sleep for 2 more hours after that. When he woke up, I swear, he looked 3 times bigger than he was yesterday. Is that possible???

2) Saturday we went over to Beth and Chris's house for dinner. It was so nice to hang out with other adults who laugh easy and cook extremely well (Beth's lasagna was the best I've had in a while)... and of course, we watched Shepherd flirt with Mia, and watched her proceed to slap some sense into him... hehehe... Both of them were so adorable, we ate them for dessert.

3) Sunday, we kept the nursery at church, and there were 15 babies in there. And 6 adults. Forrest walked away feeling happy that we only have one. I walked away crying saying I want more! Of course, Shepherd was the cutest of them all... but there were a few I snuck in my back pocket and took home...

4) We head to Charleston on Friday. We're flying down, thank goodness.. but we're looking forward to it. Last time I flew with Shepherd, he was still sleeping a lot during the day. Any advice on how to get him to sleep on the plane without giving him drugs?!

5) Forrest and I are trying to plan something for our Anniversary weekend that's a.) affordable, b.) kid friendly, and c.) did I mention affordable... free would be preferable. Any ideas? Currently, we're debating going camping or staying here and going out while someone babysits...

6) How many peppers did Peter Piper pick? seriously... I've always wanted to know....

3 months

Shepherd,

Yesterday was your three month birthday. I can hardly believe that I'm typing that out... three whole months. You are an entirely different baby today than you were three months ago... and I'm an entirely different person than I was. You're smiling every day, and getting so close to laughing. In the morning when I go to pick you up out of your crib, you look up at me, and smile. I love it when you smile.



I must admit, when we first had you, it was so hard to interact with you. I felt awkward as a mother, uncomfortable in this new role I was playing. You slept a lot, and cried a lot. And I was left feeling helpless, as I couldn't do a lot to help you. Then you smiled for the first time, and that was awesome. Suddenly, you became more of a little person than just a baby.



Then you started cooing and then you rolled over. Daily, you amaze me with what you can do, and what you seem to understand. You're so strong, too. You love standing up on my lap when I hold you. You love sitting up and watching everything. Last week, we bought you an exersaucer, and I thought you couldn't use it, but daddy put you in it last night to see what you'd do, and you played a while in there. Then today, you did it again, grabbing toys and smiling at us as if you'd just done the coolest thing ever. And it was the coolest thing ever.



You're going through a stage where you really just want to be with me, much to Daddy's dismay. Secretly, it makes me feel very, very important and special, because I'm the one you want to be with. I'm your favorite for now. I know one day it won't be this way, you'll follow daddy everywhere, and you'll roll your eyes at me when I tell you to wear your helmet when riding a bike, so for now, I'm enjoying being the apple of your eye. But don't get me wrong, it's not like you don't like being around other people. You love when we visit places and see other folks. You are laid back when being passed around the room, but when it comes time and you've had enough, you want mommy. That's got to be the coolest feeling ever...



This afternoon, I watched you roll over from your back to your front, well, almost all the way. Your arm was still in the way, but you didn't start crying right away, you seemed intent on figuring out how to get it out from under you. I know you'll figure that out soon. And soon after that, I know you'll be sitting up, then crawling, then walking... and my, oh my, that thought takes my very breath away. You're growing up. And you're developing into this beautiful child that I love with all of my heart. I'm not always the best mother I can be (I mean, I dropped a camera on your head) and sometimes I'll mess up (like trying to use Babywise as a guide for raising you, DOH!), but know that I love you more than you will ever know. Words cannot explain how much I love you, but I hope that one day, you'll just know that I love you utterly.

Happy Three Months, Pumpkin!

Love,
Mommy

I have discovered his dirty little secret

Shepherd may seem too young to have a dirty little secret, but he does. And no, it's not that he digs other mommy's boobies (although that would be devastating), nor does he have a secret crush on his only girl-friend (not that I know of at least.. you know how boys don't tell their mothers everything).

Alas, this secret is very, very dirty. Backstory, anyone?

Very early on in his life, Shepherd decided he hated his swing. And on top of that, he was gassy as can be. So I spent hours upon hours bouncing the child, until my kind Pediatrician suggested a bouncy chair. I'd heard of this "bouncy chair" and went to investigate for myself. I had sworn (pre-motherhood) to never become one of those mothers... the ones who have every trinket and toy for their child. I had wanted a simple house, free of the clutter of 500 gadgets for my child to play with. So we'd only registered for a swing. And thought surely my son would love the swing. And Lo', he hated it. Anyways, so I bought the bouncy chair, and put him in it that afternoon. Miraculously, he didn't scream. In fact, he loved it so much, that he proceeded to fart the entire afternoon in it.

Last weekend, we took the magic chair with us on our trip. It was wonderful to have along for family dinners when we needed to put him down for a second while we all ate. On the way back, the switch to the vibrator thingy must have turned on, because when we got home, the thing was dead. And O' how he hated the lack of vibrating goodness. So much so, he didn't poop. Well, he did, but only in small amounts. So finally, I went and got batteries for the thing, and right now, he's giggling in it, and farting up a storm.

Shepherd's Dirty Little Secret? He only likes to poop in the bouncy chair. And as I type, I can hear the gastrointestinal fireworks going on in his little body. I only pray that when he's 15, he's not still running to the bouncy seat and strapping himself in... I mean, what a killer to his social life.

Anyways, tomorrow is Shepherd's 3 month birthday (he's been 12 weeks all week long, but I guess "officially" he's not 3 months). It's been a wild ride, and I'll probably do a post looking back on the past three months... something sappy I'm sure. So y'all tune in for the sap...

Ohmygoshhesquealedandlaughed!!!!!!

AWWWWWW!!!! I was just playing some music for Shepherd, and was lying on the floor with him, clapping his hands in beat to the music, and he smiled a huge smile and squeeled in delight. This is the first time he's done this... and he kept doing it... I swear, each day that goes by, I fall deeper and deeper in love with my son...

Here's to my squeeling piglet! hehehe.... I love you little man!!

I'm a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad mother...

Yes. I am.

A little while ago, I was attempting to take some photos of Shepherd, so we can have some artsy fartsy photos in our photo frames. I was doing one shot above him, looking down at him, and gravity took over my camera, and pulled it from my hands... right onto my little boys noggin'. Damn you, Gravity!!!! And lo', was there crying... and screaming... Yes, Shepherd cried too. But I felt AWFUL. I'm sitting here, writing this, and I feel like a terrible mother. Who drops a camera on a 3 month old baby?! Seriously, y'all!!

*sigh*

I guess I could post the pictures I took, but then again... I feel terrible for ever taking them now. But here you go... here are the pictures that led to the worst thing I've done as a mother so far...

Wanted: Fabulous Footwear

What a weekend. We had a great time visiting family and being in the mountains. It was way too short of a visit, but it was a great weekend nonetheless. We're still recovering today... It took WAY longer than 7 hours to drive. We had horrible traffic, and didn't get to Forrest's mom's until 1 am. Then, we got back Sunday at 11 pm. You always underestimate how long it will take when traveling with an infant. Thankfully, Shepherd did wonderfully. In fact, last night he slept 5 hours and 45 minutes in one stretch! I was super happy about that.

Then he woke up this morning, and I was sooooooooooo tired. I haven't been able to perk up yet, and it's 2:45 in the afternoon. I think part of it is that I'm down because we had to come back home so early and leave family behind. Also? I have no clothes to wear. Yes, I have a closet full of clothes that I could wear before I was pregnant, and I have my maternity clothes.. but the pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit (going from a C cup to a DD cup will do that) and my maternity clothes are all winter clothes. Well, y'all... it ain't winter. Plus, in 2 weeks, we're going to Charleston, SC for Memorial Day. (Forrest's dad is flying us down, so no long drives). I have no shorts that fit (well... some Winnie the Pooh boxers that I sleep in, but those don't count unless it's 1990 again). (Remember that? or am I the only one... when you wore faux-boxers with baggy t-shirts?? am I crazy? or was this truly a fashion statement). My short sleeve shirts that do fit are incredibly tight in the boob area (which, the guys may dig, but me? I'm hating the stretched out look up there). And I think I have 2 pair of maternity capris that fit. I should go buy clothes, but, A.) We don't have the kind of $ to buy clothing right now, B.) I hate buying new clothes when I plan on losing this weight, and C.) Even if I had the money, and didn't mind buying clothes that HOPEFULLY won't fit in a few months, everything out there is for short-torso'd women (or ladies who love showing off their bellies) which, um... unless you'd like the see the trainwreck that is my abdomen (we're talking stretchmarks that look like railroad tracks from the bellybutton around to my back), I don't think that'll be such a good idea.

Anyways. The only plus side to shopping at the mall is finding incredibly cute shoes that I must have... so if any of you out there want to buy me these shoes because I'm totally fabulous (HA!), I wear a size 8.5 and I love these in Ocean and these in Brown Nubuck. Just a thought... :) See? I've resorted to begging the internet for things.. which is totally unacceptable. I need to just be happy with my beat up Birks, and just... chill.

Anybody know of any jobs out there that I can stay at home and do to earn a few extra bucks to support my shoe addiction??? I totally missed out on the Club Mom thing... anyone know of any other opportunities?!?!

Edited to Add: I also tried on these, which I loved, but of course there's that whole, no white after Labor Day rule that would render an absolutely beautiful shoe useless.... and if I'm gonna get shoes, it's going to be something I can wear year round.

Too Fast

Making a Face at Daddy
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

If you close enough in the picture, you can see that Shepherd already has an attitude problem. Yes, yes... we're working on it. It seems he's figured out how to tastefully insult his parents, be it by public humiliation with his gastro-works or the subtle display of disaproval shown in how he looks at us.

Actually, this is nothing more than our own fault. Forrest and I figured out last week that Shepherd LOVES it when you stick your tongue out at him, or make raspberries with your tongue hanging out. He's even, at times, stuck his back out at us. It's quite cute to watch him try to stick his tongue out, because often, he doesn't get it out.

Anyways. Today has been okay. The weather outside is absolutely depressing. We've been stuck inside most of the day, with one little adventure to Sam's Club to get some snacks and check on their prices for diapers. Surprisingly? They weren't cheaper. Well, if I get the off-brand diapers (which I totally don't trust now, thanks to several ruined outfits) they'd be cheaper. Then it was back home to finish laundry and start packing. Yep, we're kinda crazy like that. We're driving 7 hours tomorrow night to visit family. We're so excited. Forrest's brother and his girlfriend will be there. Also? His mom lives in the same town that I went to college at. I absolutely LOVE this place, and can't wait to go back. There's so much I want to do, and so little time to cram it all in. Every time I go to Boone, I want to eat at Phan's Japanese Steakhouse (little place in the mall), Black Cat Burrito (where Forrest and I went on our first date!), Mellow Mushroom, and of course, Woodlands... I want to get ice cream or fudge at Kilwin's in Blowing Rock, walk around campus, and drive out to the Parkway. The one sure thing is that we'll drive right by

I Dream of Shoes

Last night, I was looking at my flickr contacts, and came across Forrest's co-workers Flickr site. Beth has the cutest shoes ever, and I decided to go check out the brand of shoes she was wearing.

Big... Fat.... Hairy.... Mistake.

In my former life as a single woman, college student, and tip earning waitress... (i.e. when I had money) I was addicted to shoes. Not heels or fancy shoes... but comfortable, cute casual shoes. An hour after I went to Zappos website, and perused the shoe collection for Earth shoes, I promptly fell in love with these and about 100 other pairs of shoes that they make. Yet, they cost a fortune!!!

I found several other brands of shoes I liked, including a biodegradable shoe by Simple. But back to the Earth shoes. I was so smitten I went to their home website to see what other shoes they had. And I ordered a catalog. I have to be able to touch the pretty pictures of these, these, these, and of course, these.

Pardon me, while I clean the drool off of the keyboard. So today, since Shepherd and I have some errands to run, I might... I just might... stop by the store near here that sells these shoes, JUST to try them on. At no time am I under the impression that I can actually have these shoes, but a girl can dream can't she?

What is it with men?

Scene: Last night, in bed after putting the baby to sleep.

Me: (passes gas) *giggle*
Him: Please tell me that wasn't a fart.
Me: *giggle* Dutch Oven!!!!! *giggle giggle*
Him: Gross. I can't believe girls fart.
Me: Well we do. We also poop too.
Him: (horrified expression) Geee-ROSSSSS!!!
Me: I poop....
Him: Nonononono... stoppppppp.......
Me: Our moms poop....
HIm: Gahhhhhh!!!!!!!
Me: Even your grandmother poops.
Him: (silence)
Me: Yep... she poops too.
Him: That's the most disturbing thing I've ever heard in my life.
Me: Really? So if I say, Your grandfather poops...
Him: Doesn't bother me.
Me: But if I say, your grand...
Him: (interrupting) AHHHHHHHHHH!! STOP!!!!
Me: *giggle giggle*

It's so much fun to mess with my husband........ :)

The Girl in the Mirror

Last night, after putting Shepherd to bed, Forrest and I took turns walking on our treadmill. (Yes, we actually use our treadmill for something other than a clothes hanger from time to time) While walking we talked about a variety of things, most importantly, body image. I was looking through old photos of us yesterday, and came across some from Labor Day 2004. I remember getting those pictures back from the store, and thinking how incredibly porky and fat I looked. Yesterday, looking at those pictures, I thought how incredibly thin and skinny I was. Amazing how our perspectives change with time.

I realize that I need to continue to lose weight, and get down to at LEAST my pre-pregnancy weight, which I was working at when I got pregnant. I've looked at all the weight charts telling me what the average for a person my height is... I've looked at the BMI factors (I'm teetering right above the mark for obesity... so DANG, I've got to lose)... and all of that is kind of frustrating to me.

I'm the kind of person who wants things now. I hate waiting. I know this is a weakness of mine, and something I'm struggling to work on. However, that said, I know that my weight has to come off slowly to stay off. Plus? I'm nursing, so I can't really diet because I need the calories to maintain nourishment for Shepherd. So, I'm doing the right thing, losing slowly. It's just so hard to look at myself in the mirror sometimes and love myself. I've confessed this to Forrest, but there's no amount of encouragement that he can offer me that makes me feel better. I know he loves me for me.. I know he loves me no matter how much I weigh. I'm just incredibly hard on myself and incredibly judgemental. I look in the mirror and see a fat woman, who hasn't a shred of beauty. Yes... yes... I know this isn't true.

But at the heart of all of this is playing this deep seeded insecurity that my son will be embarrassed by his mother. I don't want to be an embarrasement to my son. Forrest and I talked about this, and about if we'd ever been embarrassed by our parents. Then I realized that I'd never been embarrassed of my mom or my dad, despite their own struggles with weight. Yes, they talked about their weight, and their struggles, but I never once was embarrassed. This made me feel incredibly better about myself. That Shepherd would love me no matter what.

I still want to lose weight... for health reasons (hello, mr. 30.4 BMI!) and yes, for personal reasons. I would like to feel comfortable about myself no matter what... so yes, I'm working on that. So for now, I'll continue to eat healthy, drink my water, and try... try very hard... to motivate myself to walk. And hopefully, next week, I'll be down another pound or two. And the week after that... and after that... and hopefully, long term... I'll get this weight off. Because I know that I can.

Your Questions Answered

Thanks to those of you who sent me questions, both of you. Man... am I popular or what?! *sigh* I always have dreams of becoming the next Top Blogger, yet somehow, I doubt my content draws that kind of audience. Oh well... the few of you who read have been wonderful, and give me reason to keep posting on this thing we call the internets.

Autumn's Mom: What is the baby product that you just can't live without? (diapers not included!)

Hmmm... can't live without? Well, for starters there's my car seat and stroller which I love. But I'm guessing you want more of a product? I could not live without Shepherd's pacifiers. I know, I know, I swore I wouldn't ever give my son a pacifier... but 48 hours after being home with him, and having him on the boob for 47 of those hours... I gave in. My son is a very oral baby... and sucks on whatever he can... his arm, his shirt, your arm, your shirt... it doesn't matter. And when he goes down for a nap, he gets fussy, and the pacifier soothes him and he can get to sleep.

Jenni: What has been the most challenging thing about motherhood for you? What has been the most rewarding?
Gah... how much time do you have???? Because seriously, I could write all day about this question.
Challenging? The lack of sleep... the crying... the gassiness... but probably most of all. the lack of sleep. I love my sleep. I was never good at pulling all-nighters in college, and only once did I do that, and the next day? I was talking nonsense and had to give a presentation in front of my class... I'm sure they all thought I was stoned or hungover because, it wasn't pretty.
Rewarding? Man... there are lots of things. The first time Shepherd smiled a real smile was pretty dang rewarding. However, when he first smiled at me and only me... MAN, that was awesome! Then, when he watches me walk around the living room, and smiles when I stop and smile at him... BLOWS MY MIND!!! Then of course, he does things like roll over and laugh (yes, he laughed yesterday... though quick and short, it was a laugh, I'm sure of it). There are a lot of things that make it rewarding, but I think the best one of all is just watching him grow. He's so beautiful, and growing so fast, it's just amazing to see this person that you gave birth to come alive!

So any of you out there who didn't get any questions in, feel free to e-mail your questions to corinnyatgmaildotcom.

Where I ask you to come up with my content

I've been trying to come up with something to write about, because it seems the only content I can come up with lately is pictures and videos. I've been trying to figure out what's causing the writers block, and the only thing I come up with is the lack of sleep I've been getting here lately. You see, I was afraid to tell you (because similar instances had resulted in immediate termination of said behavior) that Shepherd had been sleeping regularly 5 hours at a stretch, twice a night. I was afraid that I'd jinx myself if I told you. Well, it seems Shepherd decided to have none of that, and is now waking up a few more times. He gets one good stretch in, usually from 7 or 8 pm until 12 or 1 am. Then he's up every 3 hours, or like last night, up all night after that!! I was so out of it nursing last night, I decided to check my e-mail while nursing around 3 am. After a while, I looked down, and the child was smiling up at me in the dark. Wide awake. Oh well... se la vide.

So with that explination, you can understand why my writing sucks lately. And you? Have been faithful... and patient. So, thank you.

In lieu of content, how 'bout we play the fun game of you ask me your burning questions, and I'll try to answer them as best as possible. Go ahead....

Ask away!

Evidence I'm not Making Crap up

See for yourself... the child does roll.

Because Nothing says "Tough" like a Binky...

I had these pictures in my camera, and it nearly exploded from the sheer amounts of cuteness. You be my witnesses.

Where my homeboys at!?

He's quite charming... Lock up your daughers

Yo, dawg, wazzup in the hizz-ouse

Gettin' down wit da beat, yo!

Flashing gang signs... I swear I didn't teach him this

Big, Exciting News

The child?

He rolls.

He rolllllllllllssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*commence freaking out*

Yesterday, during tummy time, I got up to put something away, and turned around. Shepherd was on his side and almost over on his back. "Hmm," I said, "he's getting close. He'll be rolling by next week." Then, when Forrest got home, I was all, "Look what Shepherd can almost do. He can get on his side!!" and Shepherd decided, "Mommy, you're full of poo. I can roll all the way over." And just like that, rolled onto his back. With Daddy watching.

He's 9 weeks old y'all!!!!!!! And no, I didn't help him, or set him up to roll. I just plopped him down on his stomach and he promptly rolled over. I'm still in shock, because my little boy is growing up.

*sigh*

Best Gift Ever

At the risk of insulting everyone else who gave us gifts (wonderful gifts, I might add).. Forrest and I received a gift for Shepherd yesterday that totally rocked. You probably don't know this, but the inspiration for Shepherd's name came from Shepard Fairey, a graphic designer who conducted an experiment in Phenomenology known as the Obey Giant campaign. Here's a sample of what the Obey posters look like:



With that in mind, one of Forrest's co-workers made Shepherd a onsie...



Isn't that GREAT?! I laughed so hard because that's Shepherd in the picture.... OBEY SHEPHERD!!!!!

My brother

photostory 5
Originally uploaded by relientpunk.

I was checking my blogs tonight, and went to my brother's blog to see what was new with him. He'd posted a series of pictures that show his life right now. A refresher for those of you who haven't read about my brother yet, he's working for a group called People of Faith Against the Death Penalty in Chapel Hill, NC. His working there has made a huge impact in my life, and forced me to get off the fence on the issue, and take a stand. Anyways... I went to his blog, and saw these pictures, and almost broke down crying. I am so moved by what my brother does... so touched by what he's giving up to do this work. My brother gets paid very little (just receives a stipend for living expenses), lives in a community with 3 other people in a house, and has choosen to live a simple life. His internship is up in July, and he's trying to gather a group of people to continue doing something similar to what he's doing, forming an intentional community. They'll live in a house in a poor part of town, and live with the people in that community, and minister to their needs. This isn't something like they prostheltize (sp?)... they just meet peoples needs. No strings attached. No expectations of conversion. Just... Loving people. (I think the world needs more people like this) Anyways... but what touched me was seeing how grown up my brother is. I still remember when he was shorter than me... when he was shy and hid behind my mother... when we'd fight with each other, joke with each other, and just do silly kid things. I look at him now, and he's all grown up. And I couldn't be prouder of him.
If you have the time, check out PFADP's website. (There ARE christians out there who care about the issues, and don't buy into the "religious right")

*blink blink*

It's Monday? Really? A new week? Wow. He's how old? 9 weeks? Where does time fly? Am I still getting up at night to feed Shepherd? Is the Pope Catholic? Do you think I can compose an entire blog by finishing each sentence with a question mark? I didn't think so either.

My doctor's office probably thinks I'm crazy. I call them at least once a week with questions regarding Shepherd's gassiness. The child? Farts. A lot. And not just that, but he screams when he farts. He's also got this nasty habit of skipping days with his BM's (hello, adult Shepherd. Meet my friend humiliation). The day after the skipped day? EXSPLOSIVE!!!! today? Is a skip day. Meaning? Tomorrow, when I'm at Reel Mom's with Beth and Mia? He will give me my first lesson in Theater Etiquette... Thou shalt hold all thy poo, and embarrass thy mother in public places with loud farts and smelly diapers... oh, and thou must also defy the laws of gravity with thy poo-dynamics, filthying everything you touch with thy fecal matter. *groan* I hate changing diapers sometimes.

Anyways... Aside from the bodily functions of my 9 week old baby, I suppose I could talk about something rather pleasent. Like the weather we're having!! Beautiful!! Only, if I sit on my balcony, I face a major highway, and the fumes, the sirens, and the car horns, accompanied by the screams of your beautiful son, it brings tears to my eyes... The pre-nervous breakdown type of tears. oh joy! Okay, so weather won't work. How 'bout them Nationals?! Oh wait, I haven't watched a single baseball game this year. Hmmm... this is becoming one of those awkward conversations where you run out of things to talk about, and you just sit there, while the crickets chirp away in the corner.

*chirp chirp*

*blink*

So, what's new with you?

2 months

Shepherd,

You turned 2 months old today. As I type this, you're in your bouncy chair, talking to your fist, and going cross-eyed trying to see it. When I say something to you, you turn and look at me with a huge grin on your face. When you smile at me, it's as if that smile is only for me, and my heart simply cannot hold on to the joy that this brings me, and stops beating for a moment. Yesterday, you were a snuggle bug, beckoning me to snuggle with you all day long. Who am I to say no to a 2 month old? As we cuddled, I smelled your hair, kissed your forehead, and stroked your beautiful cheeks as you slept. You are so precious... and as I lie there, I realized how incredibly blessed I am.

Today was your 2 month checkup. You were a very happy boy through most of the checkup. You especially loved it when the nurse and I got you undressed to weigh you. You love being naked. And I love that about you. I hope this quality transcends the physical, and you learn to be transparent with who you are, to just be yourself. You weighed a whopping 12 lbs, 4 oz. This puts you in the 74th percentile amongst other babies. WOW!! What a champ!! The doctor said you were a very healthy boy, who may be getting a touch of reflux (as indicated by the projectile vomit that's happened the past 2 nights... all, over, mommy). So we got some medicine that'll help your tummy feel better (we hope).

Then, we had to give you some shots. I know they hurt, but they're for your own good. You cried when they gave them to you, and I cried with you. It was the first time I've seen huge, HUGE crocodile tears spring to your eyes, and it hurt me in a place I've never hurt. I love you so much, and I hate to see you hurting. But a few minutes of cuddling and holding you, you calmed down, and looked up at me, and smiled, as if to say you were okay. Once we left, you promptly fell asleep in your carseat, and I couldn't bear to wake you up... so I drove around a little bit, playing a soft cd while you napped in the backseat.

I almost forgot to mention, but the doctor said you're close to rolling over! I hadn't realized this until she put you on your tummy and you got in the position, and started moving towards your side. She said it could be any day now. I was floored. I had no idea that you could roll over so soon... It made me so proud of you. You're such a strong little boy, and you're growing so fast that I can't believe it's been 2 months already!!! I love you so much, little one. Your daddy and I can't explain the depth of our love for you... but hopefully, with all the hugs and kisses, you somehow know.

Love,
Mommy

Picture This

Mommy and Shepherd

My little Gilligan...

Enjoying the green grass

Someone looks bored with the conversation!

We've tried at an early age to tell him crack kills... he doesn't get it...

Support Group Lesson #2

Your son will, and can embarrass you in front of 20 other mothers and babies... even though he's only 8 weeks old.

Yes... I was embarrassed. Yesterday, on my way to the support group, Shepherd stunk the car up with one of his usual car-ride poops. I laughed, he laughed, and I figured I'd just change his diaper when we got there. We got there, and I changed his diaper (in front of everyone because, you know... they're moms too, and everyone else is doing it!). Exactly one minute after he has his clean diaper on.... I should pause here and give some back story. Shepherd has been in between diaper sizes. He was wearing size 1 magnificantly, but has been leaking lately. I've switched him at home, but hadn't switched the diapers in his diaper bag. Which was okay, because I'd figured... he'd already pooped. Anyways... back to the story. A minute after having his clean diaper on, he got this HUGE grin on his face, and proceeded to poop SO LOUD that the PRESIDENT could have heard it (and I'm sure our president would have giggled and all because he's kinda like that). The loudness wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was when I opened his diaper.

GOOD. HEAVENLY. SAVIOR. The sheer amount of crap was mind boggling. And it? was EVERY-WHERE.

So I have to strip my son completely naked, wipe him down (successfully using all my diaper wipes), and put a fresh, size one diaper on him, the whole time muttering under my breath that so help me, if he pooped in that diaper, he was wearing it all the way home. Thankfully, I had an extra onsie packed to change him into, but again, it was too small. See, he's also between sizes. Some clothes he can still wear 0-3 months, and others? not so much. So my son ended up wearing a very tight onesie for the rest of the support group meeting.

I guess the moral to this story is, if your son is in between diapers, for the love of all things good, don't try to stretch out that last pack of diapers. Completely give in and put him in the next size up. Otherwise? You end up with baby crap everywhere...

Tag, You're it!

I've been tagged by both Matthew and Kristin. I'm supposed to list 6 weird things about me. Does this mean I have to do 12? Or will six suffice?

1) I wear hearing aids. Yep. I have a genetic hearing loss in the low frequencies that was passed down from my father, who got it from his dad, and so on and so on. I've always hated this. I got my first hearing aids at age 5. I was in Kindergarten. I remember playing kick-ball, and Josh Miller, the guy I had a crush on, threw the ball and hit my knees out from under me. I scraped both my knees up very badly. But I didn't cry because of that. No. I cried because my hearing aids flew off, and I was embarrased because they flew off.

2) I have eaten goat windpipe and esophogus. On a trip to Zambia, I was staying with a group of people in the bush of Africa. They decided to feed us one night (we had MRE's to eat, which would have been wayyyy better, but you never say no to hospitality). They fixed us goat. I stomached two bites, before saying I was full. Up until then, I thought cow tongue was the weirdest thing I'd ever eat...

3) I love popping zits. There is just something cathartic about popping them. I can't help myself. This drives Forrest absolutely crazy. It takes everything in me to keep from asking someone with a zit if I can pop it. And every morning, I wake up and look at my face in the mirror... why? I'm seeing if there are new zits to pop. Actually, it's not just zits. It's anything that oozes. A blister.. a sore... anything. I know... gross. (BTW, I am proud to say I never popped a single one of Shepherd's baby acne zits... it was very, VERY hard to resist)

4) I refuse to read books that come highly recommended to me. By this, I mean, if someone goes on, and on, and on and on about how GREAT this book is... the more they talk about it, the more people that recommend it, the more I don't want to read it. Not just books, either, but music too. I guess this stems from this desire I have to be completely original. I want to discover things before anyone else does. I want to be the first to read something or to listen to something. I absolutely HATE feeling like I'm jumping on the bandwagon. I'm sure I"m missing out on this, because I'm sure they are great books/music, it's just... I can't do it!!

5) The only reason I went to prom with the guy I went with my sophomore year was to get out of going with another guy who asked me. *whew* That feels good to confess that. I didn't like either guy (at all), but I really, really, REALLY didn't like one of them... so I told him I was going with the other guy. Had I been a mean girl, I would have told the other guy the same thing... but I was too nice. Plus? I kinda felt sorry for the guy... he'd already asked 5 girls, only to be turned down 5 times. I was number 6.

6) When I was 10 years old, I dug up my dead bird to see what it looked like after being buried for 2 weeks. Funny thing, birds don't look much different after being dead for 2 weeks. Best part about it? I made my brother do it with me. We found a feather, and he picked it up. I saw another one, and was like, "OH! Another one!" and pulled it, and out came the whole bird. I was a sick little girl to want to dig up something dead.


Now the best part... I get to choose 6 of you to tag to do the same thing.

1) Pierre @ MetroDad
2) Beth @ SotheFishSaid
3) Chris @ RudeCactus
4) Jussy (my brother), even though he hates these things
5) Suzanne @ Jax's Mom
6) Avorie @ Redinkydink

Holiday Breakdown

We had a great Easter. There is so much to write about, I don't know where to begin. The airplane ride would be a good one, I suppose.
We arrived at the airport early, hoping to avoid any check-in lines. But, behold, very long lines that I waited in with Shepherd dead asleep on my chest. After checking our bags, I went to go through security, and behold! more long lines!! So I waited... and waited some more. Until I finally got to the front of my line. "You've been flagged," the security screener told me. "Soo... that means?????" I replied. "You must go stand over in that line over there," and with that, he circled something on my ticket with huge red ink... Me.... a security threat to our nation. With a 2 month old strapped to my chest. *sigh*
Turns out, there were several of us with babies in the "flagged" line. I had to remove Shepherd from his sling, which woke him up, then walk through the most ridiculous contraption. You stand there, and it blows air on you from your head to your toes. Shepherd almost freaked out, and just looked at me like, "What the heck are they doing, mommy?" After going through security, and since Shepherd was awake, he decided that it was lunch time! Here I was, in the middle of a cramped airport, full of people, with no where to go to be private. So, I just decided that my son's hunger trumped everyones comfort, so I whipped out the boob and fed him, there amongst hundreds of waiting passengers. Thankfully, no one stoned me, but I did get some horrified looks from the old lady two rows across from me. She had saggy boobs anyways, so whatever, I don't care. After I fed him, he promptly fell back asleep. He slept the entire way to the plane, and through takeoff, the flight, and landing. No screaming child here!! *Whew*
We got to Raleigh, and mom and dad met us... it was so great seeing them. We drove to my hometown, and then went to the audiologist that my father, mother, and I go to, to check Shepherd's hearing. She knows our family history, and wanted to do some more thorough testing on Shepherd to make sure he didn't have my hearing loss (yes, I wear hearing aids... why? because I'm blind) (I always hate when people ask why I wear hearing aids. The better question is what type of hearing loss do you have or at least, what caused your hearing loss). Anyways, Shepherd does NOT have any type of hearing loss. His little ears work perfectly normal, and we're tickled to death about that.
The rest of the weekend, we spent visiting family, friends, and church folk from my dad's church. A grand time was had by all.. and we even got to see Shepherd's great-grandparents! They came on Saturday to see Shepherd, and there's nothing sweeter than seeing them hold Shepherd. We have pictures over at our flickr account.
With so many people, it's no wonder that Shepherd didn't do worse than he did (he was just a little fussy, but otherwise did well). I, on the other hand, was exhausted. Shepherd was eating every 1.5 to 2 hours, and at night, still the every 3 hours. I can't tell you how little sleep I'd gotten the week before traveling, much less the first few days there. On Saturday, I hit a wall. After feeding him before his bedtime, I handed him off to my mom, and started crying. Mom, Forrest, and my Aunt Heather (who has two little ones as well) all comforted me, and told me I needed to go sleep, they'd take care of Shepherd. I told them I couldn't sleep because at this point, I was beyond sleep. Forrest grabbed the keys to the car, and took me for a drive. We rolled the windows down, and drove through the countryside, listening to the crickets and frogs sing. I cried for the first 30 minutes, and just vented about everything that was bothering me. Then slowly I started to feel better, until finally, I was ready to go home. We'd been gone an hour, and Shepherd had been asleep 45 minutes of that. I went straight to bed, thinking that he'd wake up in 2 hours to feed again. 4 hours later, Shepherd woke up to eat. He slept for 5 hours!!! After feeding him again, I put him back down to sleep. He slept for an hour, but then woke up fussy. Mom had told me to bring him to her if he was fussy, so at 3 am, I handed him off again. She stretched him out for another couple of hours, and he went 5 hours again. So that night, I got some very good sleep. What a fabulous Easter present! :)
Then, as all good things have to come to an end, we came home last night. And today? I'm still recovering. There's no one here to hand him off to, no one else to hold him... just me and the boy, as Forrest is at work... but that's okay. I'm settling back into the swing of things here at home... because no matter how much I love North Carolina, and my family, this is our home... and no matter how many times I complain about living here... we live here... and I"m happy to be home again.

Conversation on the Drive Home

As Shepherd had been sleeping so well the whole time....

F: I wonder if we need to wake him up... otherwise he'll be awake all night.
C: The last thing you want to do is wake him up.
F: No, the last thing I want to do is kill him.
C: Good Point.


And then, there was other conversations, which I can't post on here... we even talked about that:

C: My blog would be funnier, but since some of my family reads it, I think it holds me back
F: Yeah?
C: Yeah, my sense of humor is a bit crude.
F: You don't say...

Which lead to us making up curse words... a practice we probably should curb since Shepherd will be all ears and impressionable one day. Some of the words, were very funny. You'll have to take my word for it. But one of them, was particularly funny, and followed by the following conversation:

F: (laughs at my word) Corinne!! Would you say that if Shepherd understood English?
C: No, but if he understood Spanish, of course!!

Ahhh... the joys of parenthood... :) I'll post more later about our trip... but right now? I'm gonna go snuggle with the smiliest baby in the world... also? The cutest

Monkey Boy Grin!!

Monkey Boy Grin!!
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Shepherd Wishes Y'all a Happy Easter!

Marketplace Monday #8 (aka I'm a Slacker)

I just realized that I didn't post anything on Monday for Marketplace monday... I'm sure you're all dissapointed (HA!) I could say that I tried to post but something happened, when really? I just forgot. Anyways... moving on.

Today's Marketplace item is the NoJo Sling.

I got this sling a few days ago, and LOVE it. I've been trying to find a good sling to carry Shepherd around the house every day. I have a Baby Bjorn, which is great when I'm walking or out hiking, but for around the house activities, or for when Shepherd wants to sleep, the baby sling is much much better. In fact, he's asleep on my chest right now, freeing up both hands for typing (for a change). Yesterday, I was able to do laundry, do dishes, and straighten the house all the while, Shepherd slept soundly in the sling. :)

In other news, Shepherd has decided that the 5 hours he gave us last weekend was just a trick. He's since been waking every three hours to feed at night. Which, you know, I wouldn't mind if he'd actually go back to sleep after eating.. and you know, if he was a quiet pooper. Yes, you read that right. My son is a noisy pooper. Shepherd will be horrified one day to read that, but ya know? It's true. He grunts and grunts when havng a BM. During the day, this is so dadgum cute, and we laugh together... he'll grunt, I'll laugh, and he'll smile at me for laughing, then grunting again. (I'm probably setting myself up to have a toddler who grunts and screams "I"m pooping!!!" when on the John, but whatever.. I can handle it). But yeah, back to the night-time grunting. After his 3 am feeding, he'll start to grunting. Which is fine, but since we have a baby monitor hooked up (I'm hearing impaired, so I don't trust myself to hear the baby.. plus, Forrest? hears NOTHING at night), I hear every grunt. Finally, after an hour of this (the child doesn't poop when on his back... simply refuses), I go pick him up. I'll put him in the bed with me, propped up on my arm, and he stops grunting for a while. Then, when we finally get up out of bed, he grunts one last time, and Presto!!!! Diaper's Full!!! And I'm not talking any old kind of full... I'm talking the kind of full that sends chills down your spine, and has you gagging at the sheer volume of poo that this infant has passed. Was that TMI? It probably was... oh well.

Anyways... hopefully, this weekend will provide some much needed rest for me. Tomorrow morning, I fly down to North Carolina to be with my family. Forrest is coming down later after work on Friday. We're very excited. I'm pretty nervous. I hope Shepherd doesn't scream the whole flight there. I guess we'll find out. So if I don't post anything, you know where I am... Hope you all have a fabulous Easter!!!

Book Burning Anyone?!

I will admit, I've fallen prey to the pluthera of parenting philosophies that are out there today. Are you attachment parenting? Are you letting your baby cry it out? What parenting philosophy do you subscribe to? I'm fed up with every single one of them. I'm sure they all have their good points, but let me explain my frustration.

In the height of the no-sleeping longer than 2 hours or 3 hours at a stretch, I was frustrated. Very frustrated. I began wondering when my child would sleep longer. Someone... and I wish I could remember who, so I could publicly flog them, recommended this book to me. The book, Babywise, sounded wonderful in theory, and so, I began reading it, and trying a few of the things it suggested in it. Then yesterday, as I researched it some more (because, I don't normally buy into things without some research, but had been too tired to research before now).... I came across this article, this article, and finally, this article.

Y'all, I'm furious. What I thought would help my baby, will hurt him. What I thought was a good suggestion, was a terrible one. This book has been flagged by the AAP as a dangerous parenting method. So I've officially thrown the book away. I'm furious too because I'm so fed up with the vast amounts of differing opinions on this subject of parenting. When our parents were raising us, there was almost NOTHING there to help them. But we have everything at the tips of our fingers. Just Google it, and it's there.

My conclusion? I will listen to my doctor, and my instinct. I refuse to buy into a particular "method" wholeheartedly because each one has it's drawbacks. Plus? I feel I know my son best... and someone telling me when to feed him, when to hold him, or how to raise him just doesn't sit right with me. My son has thrived so far, even though I'm getting little sleep. But my sleep is nothing when it comes to raising a healthy baby boy. I would give it all up to make sure he's okay. So Dr. Ezzo, take your book and SHOVE IT!

Good Parenting? or Beginner's Luck?

This weekend, two nights in a row, Shepherd slept for 5.5 hours.

Allow me to repeat that.

FIVE and ONE HALF HOURS.

I was scared to post anything the first night, fearing it was just a fluke... that he'd worn his little self out and just slept hard. But the second night he did that? I rejoiced. And tonight? Well... we're going on 3 hours, and not a peep. I know I should be asleep, but I'm not used to getting to bed until after his 11 o'clock feeding... so I don't know what to do with myself now! :) How we managed the shift in nocturnal sleeping patterns? I have no earthly idea. I wish I could tell you that I supplied to a particular method, or what not, but in reality? I'm wingin' it over here. I told my dad tonight that sometimes I feel like I'm going to screw this kid up... I feel so inadequate, so unprepared, so unequipped for parenthood. And I wondered how on earth they got to be such great parents. He laughed at me, and said they were in the same boat 25 years ago. It's hard to imagine my parents struggling as parents because in the end? Well... they were great parents!!! So maybe we'll end up there. But for now? I'll just celebrate this beginner's luck. :)

Big Grins Version 3.0

Big Grins Version 3.0
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Y'all, I got the best pictures of Shepherd smiling today. You have to head over to our flickr page to see them. Make sure to check out the Smiles Slideshow...

Because I'm smart like that, Part Deux

By my nature, I'm a fix-it-yourself kind of gal. In college, my parents bought a condo in our small college town for my brother and I to live in. When the toilet upstairs broke? I replaced all it's innards. When the outside light broke? I replaced it with one bought at Lowes. The pantry that was too small to hold all of our housemates food? I built shelves to go in it. I painted the bathroom and the kitchen myself. I was rather proud of myself for my fix-it sense. Then I got married.... to do-it-yourself kind of guy. So there have been times when we were almost to blows wanting to assemble something together. However, this has gotten MUCH MUCH better over the last year. But sometimes, when he's at work, I'll sneak in a little fix-it here and there.

Today? I learned my lesson.

I was straightening up the house while Shepherd took a nap, and decided to flip our mattress. Our Queen Sized Mattress. And, not just the mattress, but to rotate the box-spring. This is a two-man job. But stubborn as I am, I was all, "I can do it!!!" The mattress, I got off easy. I just propped it up against our treadmill. Then came the rotating of the box spring. I decided the best way to accomplish this was to lift the box spring on it's side, and stand in the middle of the bed frame and rotate it. I totally forgot that I was standing on Forrest's drafting table that we've stowed away under our bed, that's covered in dust. I also forgot that I was wearing no-grip flip flops. Yeah, I'm THAT smart. Mid-way through the turn, and my feet slip out from under me. Down I go on the wooden side-rail with my back, and down comes the box spring on top of me. I sat there stunned for a second, then laughed. I thought, "Man, I haven't had a good fall like that in years!" (Does this tell you how clumsy I was in high school and college?!) I managed to get up and finish the job. When I was done, I changed my shirt, and got a glimpse of my back. Y'all, someone is going to think Forrest beat me. My back is black and blue from the fall, and hurts like crazy. I took and Advil already, but it still hurts. Thing is, I think it was kind of funny... and I totally learned a lesson. Never move anything bigger than you without another adult there to assist you.

So, so, so sad.... *pout*

Herb Sendek heads to Arizona State

You can also read Dick Vitale's commentary about his departure here. This is truely a sad, sad day for NC State.....

Goodbye Herbie....

Support Group Lesson #1

You will always think your child is the most well behaved for his age at the group. Then, on your car ride home, he will prove you very, VERY wrong.

Today I met with Beth and Mia at a New Mom's support group. I was nervous, because I wasn't sure how Shepherd would behave, and I didn't know anyone there except Beth. I worried that they would be all judgey on me because I use a pacifier (hey, it works for me) or that Shepherd would get hungry and it'd be awkward breastfeeding. I think Beth was worried Mia would scream but she didn't. She was a TOTAL ANGEL. I even got to hold her (aren't you jealous?!) Anyways, so we get there, and we go around the room introducing ourselves, our babies, and how old our babies are. There were several other babies that were Shepherd's age... They all behaved fabulously, well, except for one who fussed, but I think he was hot... his mommy had him bundled up pretty warmly. Anyways, breastfeeding was TOTALLY not a problem (men you would have loved it, there were boobs flashing left and right) and Shepherd behaved like an angel. After the meeting, Beth, Mia, Shepherd, and I headed to eat lunch, where again, he was angelic, and Queen Mia was so cute eating her lunch of avocados. Since Shepherd was so good at both the meeting and lunch, I decided to push my luck and grab a few things at Target on my way home. Again, he did fairly well, only fussing for a little bit. Then, on the car ride home... he screamed his head off. I couldn't do anything because I was in heavy traffic, so the only thing I could do was crank the stereo up louder to drown out his screams. Thank you Mr. Johnny Cash. When I got closer to home, I cut the stereo down, and Shepherd was done screaming and had fallen back to sleep. Again, Thank you Mr. Cash. So we're home now, and I'm feeding the little booger. Hopefully he'll have a restful afternoon, and will try to take another nap, as yesterday, he didn't, and there was hell to pay for it. So here's hoping!!

Marketplace Monday #7 (or Crack Cocaine for the Post-Partum mother)

I was bad. The other day, I had some errands to run, and one of those errands had me walking past a group of these:



Yes, Spring is in the air, and they come crawling out of the woodwork. I'd done well, so far, at avoiding them, but alas, I finally ran into a group of Girl Scouts. Why have I avoided them?! Because of this:



This, my friends, is the equivalent to crack-cocaine. I cannot stop at one, much less 2... in fact, I have to admit, I cannot consume less than 4 at a time. I bought 2 boxes, and the second box is almost gone. *sigh* I joked with Forrest last night that the reason I wasn't a girl scout was because of the cookies. I would have been the fatest girl scout ever... and wold have bought my entire supply of Samoas myself. What's your favorite girl scout cookie?!

Wonderful Weekend

Funny Face
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

We spent all day Saturday at the park, enjoying the sunshine, and just getting out for a change. We capped the evening off with hamburgers and drinks at Cheeseburger in Paradise (wonderful, wonderful Mai Tai!!). Then last night, Forrest got up for one of the middle of the night feedings and fed Shepherd, allowing me to sleep more than 2 hours. And then today? He let me nap while taking care of a fussy baby. Isn't my husband the greatest!? :) Anyways, it's been good for both of us, because while I'm getting a break, Forrest is getting some time with Shepherd. So it was a great weekend... head on over to our flickr account to see some of the pictures from the weekend... :)