Wednesday, June 27, 2007

16 months

Dear Shepherd,

Last week you turned 16 months old. The further along we go, the closer these months seem to come together. This past month has been filled with fun. You constantly want to go outside and run around or play in the pool. Your energy has just shot through the roof, and you run at breakneck speeds across the yard, through the house, or wherever else your little feet will carry you. It's hard for mommy to keep up with you, especially with the growing baby in mommy's tummy.

You have learned a lot of new words this month, and you're even better at communicating with us than ever before. When asked what mommy has in her belly, you make the sign for baby. We're not sure you completely understand the concept of a baby in mommy's belly, but you often will pat my belly and smile at me. This week wee pulled out a lot of old baby toys such as the swing and the bouncy chair, and you've had a blast playing with them. You'll often grab a book and sit in your swing reading the book. So many changes are ahead of you as your little sister plans to make her grand entrance, and sometimes I worry about how you'll adjust. I know you'll love her, as you're so good with other kids and other babies. I guess I'm most worried about how you'll handle the change in attention you get. As much as I'm looking forward to your sister getting here, I'm also trying every moment to hold you close, and give you extra love, as I know the days of you being an only child are numbered.

This month you've really enjoyed the water. We're very excited about this as it seemed for a while you were terrified of the water in your bathtub. With the introduction of your pool, the sprinkler, and the ocean, you have completely overcome your fear and now are totally enthralled with any type of water. You would spend hours in the pool if I let you, climbing in and out, and then back in again. You run through the sprinkler giggling and squeeling, hands up in the air trying to catch the water. The ocean, however, has proved to be your favorite. You absolutely love the sand and the waves, and you run through the water stomping your feet and splashing everyone around.

Shepherd, you continue to amaze me. Being with you every day is such a joy, it's hard to imagine my life without you.

Your smile is so contagious, and your laugh, whoa boy, your laugh makes my heart just explode within my chest. You are constantly amazing us, and constantly changing. I love you so very much,

Happy 16 months, Doodlebug,


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Stuck in my head

Great... I've got the corniest, cheesiest dumb song stuck in my head. At the mall this morning, while checking e-mail and watching Shepherd run crazy around the play area (seriously folks, I'm in love with this play area) they played Hungry Eyes, and now I cannot get the song unstuck. Between that and this weekend's movie rental, Children of Men, everything seems to get stuck in the quagmire of my mind. (That movie, by the way, one of the best I've seen in a long, LONG time)

My brain is just a bog right now, and forming intelligent thought requires so much mental energy (that I don't have), I'm often reduced to sounding just like Gomer Pyle. In fact, I believe this post is the most intelligent thing I've said in the past 48 hours. As a result, I've been particularly down lately. With my brain fried and with Shepherd showing strong preference for other people when they're around (he refuses to be held by me if daddy is home), I feel a tad useless around here. I know this will all change come September, and I'll be needed around the clock by a tiny little newborn.

At least I have managed to do something productive. Last night, I sewed my own sling. I found the design online (Jan Andrea's Sling Ring), ordered the proper safety rings, picked out some fabric at a local store, and made my own sling! I was quite proud of myself, especially when I was able to use it with Shepherd this morning. :) Makes me that much more excited about the baby coming. I may actually attempt to sew a few more slings, for extras or for friends, as it was nice to actually use my mind at something for a change.

Well, I need to get Shepherd home for a nap... hope you all are having a wonderful day!! (Hey, if you could, make sure your blogger profile allows e-mails, and if not, and you comment, let me know your e-mail addy so that I can respond to your comments).

Friday, June 22, 2007

Open Letter to the Psycho in the Pacifica

Dear Crazy Lady,

You do realize that there are such things are rear view mirrors, right? And you realize that if those malfunction, you can glance over your shoulders to check behind you, right? I ask this, because it would seem you have no earthly idea how to drive. I was carrying my 16 month old toddler into Target (and 7 month belly), when you decided to grand prix out of your parking spot while I walked directly behind your car. I don't know how you missed seeing me, as I'm the size of a cow right now, on top of the fact that I was hauling my toddler. But nonetheless, you continued to back out, despite my screaming, "HEY! HEY!" to you. I nearly fell backwards trying to get out of the way. I finally got out of your way, as you continued to back up, unaware that you'd almost killed me, my son, and my unborn child. I looked, and you were busy chatting on your cell phone, completely oblivious to your rearview mirrors and all. Then, you pulled back into your spot.

Crazy lady... you weren't even LEAVING! You were just straightening up your car, which honestly, didn't need to be straightened anyway. I looked around as I clutched my toddler in a death grip, and saw 10 witnesses, with mouths agape, so I know it wasn't my fault. Maybe next time, slow down if you're backing up and for the love of God, please use those rearview mirrors!!!

The Big, Ol' Pregnant lady you almost hit

Monday, June 18, 2007

Wash Away

Somewhere in the corners of my heart and mind are tucked away memories of years gone by... Memories which have lay hidden for years, covered in dust and draped in cobwebs, untouched. Some memories are hidden in dark boxes, shut tight with padlocks and chains, hoping never to be opened again. Others, simply set aside, and forgotten. Nothing important happens to us which we can truly forget... it's just stored away, and possibly brought out from time to time to be remembered. And other times, we're jolted back to those memories, only to have to let them go, to wash them off, cherish them, and say goodbye to the other people we shared those memories with. Last night, I found out that my first boyfriend, someone I truly loved, was killed last month by a drunk driver. He was walking his dog when the driver hit them. He passed away 7 days later, leaving behind a wife, his parents, and sister. He was only 27 years old. And so, yesterday, I spent the evening holding my husband close, and rocking my son to sleep as breathed in the sweet smell of his soft hair.... and I was reminded how fragile this life is. And as I move forward with my present life, I'm also dealing with the memories... and mourning the loss of the one who shared those with me.

Requiem for Sleep

The past several nights have been tough. It seems as though our little girl really likes to boogy at night, and not only so, but prefers to lie sideways. Each night, I've tossed and turned as I tried to get comfortable, switching places with Forrest several times. He's been more than understanding, and has done his best to help. I know I'm entering the third trimester, I just didn't think I'd be this uncomfortable this soon. Now, I know that this is my body's way of getting me ready for midnight and early morning feedings, but honestly, it's not the sleep that I miss so much... it's the comfort of being able to lie down, stretch out, and feel good. Oh well, soon enough, soon enough. Only 12 more weeks left.

Friday I had my Glucose Tolerence Test. I sat next to a woman who was taking the 3 hour test. She was huge... and by huge I mean pregnant huge. (I always hate it when people point this out, so pardon my hypocrisy). I asked her how far along she was, and she said she was 32 weeks. Only 4 weeks ahead of me. And suddenly it struck me. I'm not even at the height of my girth, yet I feel enormous. With the two hottest months of the summer left, I may find myself bathing in tubs of ice and eating gallons of ice cream in single sittings. But somehow, I know I'll manage. If I could just get some goood sleep....

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Bringing in the Big Guns

I totally lost my mind last night. I was cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen that holds our cooking utensils, since it was overstuffed with one too many spatulas. How we've accrued so many spatulas in our short 3 years of marriage is beyond me (actually, I blame it on Target, who failed to update our registry whenever someone bought us an OXO spatula, and refusing to accept a return without a gift receipt). Anyways... So there I was, cleaning out the drawer, when what to my horror do I discover, but tiny little black "things" littered throughout. Bending closer to inspect, I quickly realized that my entire word was being flipped on its head. The mice... had crossed a line.

Our previous attempts to eliminate the mice have resulted in mass failure, aside from the one tiny baby one we caught. After we caught and disposed of the mouse, the others seemed to get the message and high tail it out of here. We hadn't seen droppings in weeks, and now, as if they'd gone out recruiting an army, they were back.

My nightmare was only beginning with the cooking utensil drawer. I inspected our silverwear drawer, only to find droppings in there. I cautiously opened the tupperwear cabinet, only to find droppings in there as well. With each door opened, my stomached lurched further and further up my throat, until I could take it no longer. I sat in a puddle of tears in our kitchen as I thought of all the dishwashing I'd have to do to sanitize everything. Through my tears I grapsed at my stomach as I thought of the previous few days and the numerous times we'd used our silverwear and cooking utensils.

I picked up the phone and called my landlord. I begged them to please come over and look at the number of droppings themself, to assure them we weren't just dealing with one mouse. To their horror, I was right, and thankfully (God bless them) they called the pest control people to come out and deal with the problem. As I finish this post up, the exterminator just pulled up in the driveway. Pardon me while I go let him in, and possibly kiss him, as I am so happy he's here.

Oh yeah, and does anyone want to come help me do dishes? Or should I just throw them all away and start over again?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

3 Year and Still Going Strong

Yesterday, we received a beautiful card in the mail wishing us a happy anniversary. My first reaction to the card was to laugh and mutter something about our anniversary not being for another few...

oh crap...

"It's tomorrow isn't it?" I thought to myself. Quickly I called Forrest to weasel out of him if he'd remembered or not. I quickly asked him what tomorrow was, and he paused, thought long and hard, and then laughed. "It's our anniversary isn't it?" he said. "So you forgot too?" "Yes... I'm so sorry!" he said. We both had a good laugh over forgetting, and made last minute arrangements to go out tonight, while my parents babysit. Living close to family ROCKS!!!

So anyways, this brought us to question. Is this something that happens to everyone with children or is it just us? Last year was easy to remember. Shepherd was just a litle baby and we were on vacation with family who insisted we go out for the evening. This year, I remembered our anniversary was coming up way back in April, and meant to make plans for it and all, but just forgot. Somewhere between chasing Shepherd off the dining room chairs (he now climbs them all the time) and begging my second little angle to pu-lease settle down a tad, because no one likes a dancing fetus in your RIBCAGE...I kind of forgot about the whole shebang.

I guess in the end, it's not that big of a deal, since we actually remembered before our anniversary, even if only a day before. All that said, I am so incredibly fortunate to have such a wonderful partner and husband in Forrest. I cannot even imagine living my life without him. With him, I feel safe, loved, accepted, and at home. I am truly blessed to have him, and my love for him grows daily. Thank you for 3 wonderful years, honey. I love you! Happy Anniversary!!!

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Trouble with Thumbkin

I am totally not going to make it through my kids learning to talk without getting the giggles and teaching them bad words. Today, a friend came over with her son. As we sat there, eating a snack, her son yelled out, "Where is F**kin'?!"

Eyes bugging out of her head, his mother, horrified, quietly asked him what he just said. He repeated, "Where is f**kin'!?" louder and clearer.

My friends eyes met mine, and together, we totally lost it laughing. I walked away from the table laughing, as my friend tried to figure out what on earth he was really trying to say, when it finally dawned on her. He'd learned the song, Where is Thumbkin earlier in the day, and was having trouble (no kidding!) with the word Thumbkin. After several moments of pleading with her son to stop, and with his escalating screams of profanity followed by exhilirated giggles, we finally were able to convince him to stop cursing, if only by convincing him that Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star was WAY funnier than Where is Thumbkin.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

27 weeks

I still can't believe how fast time is flying by. I realized today that I'm in my 27th week of this pregnancy. In just a few short days, I'll be in my 28th week. Crazy. The baby is kicking up a storm. Last night, I watched as she did summersaults in my belly, making everything move. Forrest watched in amazement too, as she shifted from side to side. She's quite an active little booger, very much like her big brother was during my pregnancy with him. And much like her brother, she hates being balled up, and stretches out as much as possible, leaving my ribs already bruised only 27 weeks into this pregnancy. Despite the similarities, there are a few differences. I'm carrying lower this time, and my belly is alot more "pointy". With Shepherd, I had a very round and even belly, but with our little girl, I'm noticing odd angles, and bulges at random areas. Either you truly do carry different with girls than boys, or I weigh less this time, and can see more of the baby than last time. It's hard to believe that I only have a few months left before she's born. It seems like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant, and her I am, starting to waddle and moan about back pain. Before you know it, she'll be here!!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Wicked Witch of the West

This mouse thing has totally turned me into the Wicked Witch. With several nights of no dead mice in our traps, Forrest and I rigged several traps up with cheese jammed into the trigger. Forrest rigged a few traps to be hair sensitive, and as we left the kitchen, I caught myself rubbing my hands together, murmerring, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little buddy too!". The next morning, we awoke, and voila! DEAD MOUSE!! Of course, my stomach totally flip flopped, and and I had to recruit Forrest into disposing of the beast, but alas! The mouse is dead. I did a little victory dance around the kitchen whilst singing, "Ding Dong, the mouse is dead, the mouse is dead...." and so on. We seem to have caught our critter.

That said, I still feel ridiculously filthy when I walk in my kitchen. Granted, I've scrubbed the counters down pretty good, but for some reason, I feel as though it could be slightly more sanitary. So out with the Clorox wipes, and enter the straight up clorox solution. I plan on spending my afternoon with clorox, gloves, and a tiny toothbrush to clean out every possible crevace these vermin may have touched. Wish me luck!