Friday, June 23, 2006

Beach Bums

Well... tomorrow morning, we leave for the beach. Well, actually, we leave to go to my cousin's wedding and then we go to the beach on Sunday... but still. Tomorrow puts us on the road towards the beach. :) So. SO. SOOOO. excited.

Anyways... we'll have no internet at the beach, which actually... I'm not too bummed about. Actually might be nice to really get away for a week. I mean, I'll totally miss you, and all, but sometimes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, eh? :) Anyways....
I leave you with this picture... of the cutest kid EVAH... all clean and ready to travel!!! Y'all have a great week!!!!

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Sorry for the lack of bloggin' lately, I've been way distracted by preparing for our beach trip. Who knew that taking a kid on a week long vacation would take so much time in preparation? Oh, you did? There in the back? Why didn't you warn me?! Jerk!

Anyways, so all week, I've been making lists, packing, and sorting things to take to the beach. I'm taking Beth and Chris' suggestion, and read The Ha-Ha while at the beach. I went ahead and started it (just to suck me in early), and already, it's awesome. I'm also taking Jimmy Carter's latest book, Our Endagered Values and Anne Lamott's book,Blue Shoe. I'm excited about that last one because Anne Lamott rocks my face off (no, really, she does). If you have a chance to read her other books, Traveling Mercies and Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith, I'm sure you'll be blown away at what she has to say. She's totally not what you'd expect from a Christian woman, being pro-choice, anti-Bush, and in general, very, very, very radical. I *heart* Anne Lamott, and would give her a big fat kiss if I saw her. But yes, I'm taking 3 books... because I'm good like that, and I'm a fast reader. Anyways... moving on.

So, after assembling my books, I gathered a few DVD's, you know, in case it rains or something... Forrest got the first season of Boston Legal, which should make for some good boob-tube watching. Then, of course, my favorite... Seasons 1, 2, and 3 of Friends. Not that we'll watch all of it, but man, it's good to have around when the conversation turns to politics and we're near blows... :) But that won't happen, right?! No... we're a perfect American family, and we all vote the same way (BWAH!!!!!!!)

And then of course, you've got the baby equipment, which, we won't even go there... and the beach chairs, and yada yada yada... you've got the car packed to the hilt.

My question... should you choose to answer it, is this:

What are some good summertime/beach songs? I'm trying to come up with a playlist to have down there, and so far? Just some Jimmy Buffett and Bob Marley... oh, and this one song by Shakira that I can't get out of my head (sorry to those of you who don't like it, but honestly? I love that song). Do you have any summer favorites?! PuLEASE let me know because right now our playlist is pretty lame.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

4 months


Today, you turn 4 months old. I cannot believe that you are that old. It seems like only yesterday that we were finding out we were pregnant with you, but last I checked, it was one year ago yesterday that we found out. We were at your great-grandfather's house celebrating Fathers Day, when mommy took a test in the bathroom of their house, not expecting to see much of anything. The test came back positive, with two pink lines on it, and I ran to get your father to tell him. We were both excited and terrified at the same time. We told all of your grandparents, who were more than excited to get the news. A year later, you're here, and growing so big!

We went to the doctor yesterday for your 4 month checkup. You weighed 15 pounds and 4 ounces. You have officially doubled your birth weight. You also have grown tall! You are now 25 and a 1/4 inches tall. You've grown 5 inches long! As the doctor was checking you out, I tried to visualize in my minds eye what 5 inches was, and how small you once were, and I was amazed. The doctor was very impressed with you. She said you were a very happy baby and a very active little booger. In her words, you're going to get very dangerous very soon. You see, you are already sitting up by holding yourself up like a tripod. You're already rolling front to back and back to front. And, you push yourself up on your knees when you are on your stomach, face planting yourself across the room. Some of these skills are 5-6 month skills, and the doctor said she was happy to see you progressing so rapidly! She said that daddy and mommy were right to start you on rice cereal because you need those extra calories! You burn them off so fast with all of your activity.

The hardest part was the shots that you had to get. It was a little easier watching you get the shots this time, but it still hurt me to see you cry. You calmed down very fast, and then promptly took a nap. When we got home, you woke up from your nap and were very grumpy. I picked you up and you started wailing. I looked at your little legs, and they were red and swollen from the pain of the shots. So I gave you some tylenol, and held you while you screamed. You cried like that for a long time, until you finally cried yourself to sleep. I held you while you slept, and just marveled at how much you've changed. You are beautiful... I know boys (and even men) hate that being said about them.... they want to be HANDSOME! which, you are! But you are also a very beautiful child. After a while, I put you down in your crib, and finished some chores around the house. I was interrupted by you waking up screaming... and I rushed in to swoop you up. As soon as you were in my arms, you calmed down, and just curled up and let me hold you. It was then I realized that you haven't let me hold you like that in a while. Normally, you're so eager to be down rolling, or in the excersaucer playing. So I held you, and we rocked. We just sat there staring at each other for the longest time. I know you probably will never remember that, but I will. I will always remember how wonderful it is to be held captive by your eyes. When you look at me, I know you love me, and you love me despite everything I don't love about myself. Your love isn't conditional, and I'm amazed by that.

This morning, we woke up, and I looked at you while you slept between daddy and me. Your cheeks were flushed from the slight fever from the shots, and I realized how incapable I am of loving you to the fullest. It is only with God's help that any of us love a child. I know that love exists beyond my heart, because I feel it. I feel the overflow of love from my heart into my soul and beyond me, and I'm certain that it's like that because God helps us. God loves us, therefore we love others. God loves you, my son. Just like he loves every single person in this world (yes, even the bad people)... he loves you. I hope one day, you'll understand that. I hope that one day, you'll know what it's like to hold a tiny baby in your arms, and realize that the love you have for that child isn't just yours.. but the pouring out of God's love through us.

I love you, Shepherd, with all of my heart...

Happy Four Month Birthday!!


Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Fathers Day, Honey


I know how incredibly hard you've been working lately. Between late nights with Shepherd, and late nights at work, I know you are so tired. But I've been watching you... how amazing you are. How effortlessly you rise every morning to go to work, how little you complain about your work and the long commute... I've seen how when you come home, after kissing me, you rush to sweep your little son up in your arms. I've also seen how much he loves this... how when 6:30 rolls around, he's practically staring at the door, waiting with joyful anticipation for the moment you walk in. I've also seen how Shepherd will no longer allow himself to be rocked to sleep by mommy. Only Daddy is good enough for this job. And I've seen you grow closer to our son because of this. And I've seen you gain confidence because of this. I'll admit, at first I wanted to do everything... but how wonderful it is to step back and see how much closer you are to Shepherd when I step back. You are an AMAZING father... and you're still reletively new to this! Only 4 months ago, you were just a husband, and now? You're so much more... a husband, a father, and our rock. I love you so much, and I'm so glad to be a part of your life... OUR life. So Happy Fathers Day, honey... I promise, we will sleep again one day....



Thursday, June 15, 2006

Sleep, glorious sleep

So... yeah. I slept last night. Shepherd slept. And we both woke up so happy, I'm surprised we aren't shooting rainbows and giggles out of our butts. The past three days have to have been the hardest three days in a long time. Not just with the lack of sleeping going on around here, but the dealing with some important issues involving a brief moment where it looked as though I'd have to head back to work. Not a fun topic to deal with. But in the end, we figured a way for me to stay home
That was a close one. Don't scare me like that again mommy.

Also, I've been struggling with my ADHD (go ahead, give me the standard eye-roll and lecture on how overdiagnosed it is, and how overmedicated we as a society are. What you don't know is that I have research to back up the fact that women often aren't diagnosed until early adulthood and even then, sometimes never diagnosed, so nyah, nyah, nyah). It's hard, because while nursing I can't resume my medication, and thusly really struggle to stay orgnanized, or at least maintain some semblance of organization. So, hence the visit to my family doctor in a few weeks to discuss options (giving up nursing? or stay off the meds?)
Y'all want proof of mommy's lack of organization? Exhibit A: Me wearing an oversized pink shirt that looks like a dress on me... because mommy forgot my shirt at home.

Anyways moving on... so last night, we resumed the rice cereal. We had stopped for a while because Shepherd was being so fussy at night, and I didn't know if it was the cereal or something else. He continued to be fussy after a week off of the cereal, so we determined that it wasn't that. So last night? We started over. And 'lo, how happy he was to be eating the gunky rice cereal again. So happy that he'd wave his arms in excitement and try to grab our hands or the spoon to pull it to his mouth... resulting in lots of cereal everywhere (including his hair). But all in all, it was grand.
Dude, this stuff is so awesome. Why have you been holding out on me mom?

And after dinner, we had to give him a bath, because seriously, rice cereal in the hair.
Dad, could you tell the lady with the camera to please lay off? I'm kinda exposed here...

Then it was off to bed. I don't know if it was a result of the rice cereal, or if it was just a stroke of luck? But Shepherd went to sleep around 8:45 (he ate at 7:45) and didn't wake up until 4:45 this morning to eat. Sleep glorious sleep...
To sleep, perchance to dream...

So today? Is looking like a wonderful day... shooting rainbows and gumdrops out of our butts kind of good.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Caught on Camera

Today I actually caught Shepherd giggling on the camera. He thinks mommy is quite funny....

As we were falling asleep

Me: Are you asleep?
Him: Hmm?
Me: G'night, sweetie.
Him: Did you find the alternative air for tires?
Me: (laughing) What?!
Him: Never mind, that didn't make any sense... I'm just really tired
Me: (giggling) okay, g'night... (rolls over)

...a few minutes later

Me: (laughing really hard) You know what?
Him: (sleepily) mmm?
Me: A good alternative air for tires would be all the gasbag politicians in DC.
Him: (confused) I don't get it
Me: They're full of hot air
Both: (laughing very, very hard because we think we're funny)

Friday, June 09, 2006

Shepherd at the Beach

Oh, and of course... the beach :)
Shepherd Eating

He eats, and mom and dad bicker about keeping him clean (embarrassing for us, cute for him... Shepherd 1, Parents 0)


So, yes, I'm very aware that my son is not even 4 months old (although 16 weeks is 4 months, but that's another story, don't get me started). Already, he's rolling over regularly (i.e. every time we have tummy time, he refuses to stay on his tummy), he's scooting on this back (meaning, I've found him crammed into a corner of the crib several mornings), and requesting food. Yep, requesting food... you read that right. He eats at the table with us every night, and lately has been opening his mouth immitating us. Forrest and I pulled out the baby spoon, and pretended to feed him. He grabbed our hands and shoved the empty spoon in his mouth, and then chewed. So, last night? We gave in and fed him a little cereal.

Judging by that face, you'd think he hated it. But... after a few bites, the child was reaching for the spoon before it got to his mouth and pulling it towards him... he liked it THAT MUCH.

Also? Lately, he's been drooling worse than a St. Bernard, and cramming everything and anything into his mouth. Also? He wants to nurse non-stop. I called the doctor to see if this was normal, because, hey, the kid's already had his 3 month growth-spurt, seems kind of odd to want to nurse that much at this point... plus? It's been more than 3 days w/ the non-stop nursing. She said it sounded like teething, and for me to look in his mouth... Sure enough? His bottom two teeth are coming in.. swollen gums and all. So, YAY! No sleep and sore boobies! :)

Anyways... I'm so glad today is Friday. The weekend is finally here! And best of all? I get to hang out with this hottie and the little cutie....

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Reasons I'm thankful to be renting

I often have to remind myself why I'm glad we're renting instead of owning a house. I often dream about owning a little home, complete with cute backyard, patio, and driveway. I also love dreaming about the colors I'd paint the rooms in the house, as I cannot stand blank white walls (the standard in apartment living). I dream of fixing up a kitchen to be exactly what I want it to be, to having a little garden plot where I can grow fresh things like tomatoes, herbs, squash, peppers, and many other yummy veggies I love. I dream of the hardwood floors with beautiful area rugs that our son crawls around on. I dream of bright airy windows, draped with soft, sheer curtains that filter the light in. My dream house isn't big by any means, in fact, it's quite quaint... easily obtainable everywhere but Northern Virginia (and yeah, anywhere north of that, but we're not looking to live up north). My dream home is perfect in my mind.

What I don't dream about is repairs that YOU, the owner, have to make, and pay for. I don't dream about paying someone to fix my refrigerator. I don't dream about paying for someone to fix my A/C, and then two days later, pay for them to come back out and put a whole new A/C unit in. I don't dream about paying for an exterminator to come and fumigate for fleas... fleas which I did not ask for, but the stupid people downstairs caused by feeding 16 feral cats... thus, allowing us, o' fortunate ones that we are, to track in fleas.

No... I don't dream about these things. In fact, I'm quite thankful to pay my rent and have someone else pay for these things. I know, I know, there are so many benefits to owning a house, including equity in your home, but really? At this point in the game, we couldn't afford any of those repairs. Broken A/C? We'd just sit in front of fans the whole summer. Broken refrigerator? We'd just enjoy warm milk! So, yes... I'm a proud tenant. I enjoy being able to call someone else to pay for my problems.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Guest Blogging

Nothing's more intimidating than guest blogging on someone elses site... especially if that someone else gets way more traffic than you do. Anyways... y'all head over to Matthew's site to read my post on family traditions...

Friday, June 02, 2006

Bwa, to the ha, to the hee, hee, hee

Okay, so I found this picture, along with several others like it on a cd today. They were actually a part of a power-point that my mom put together for our wedding reception. It was both hilarious and humiliating all at once, especially with the picture on the right. I hate this picture. If I'd had my way as a kid, the picture would have long ago been shredded, burned, and tossed off some remote mountain-top for no one to ever lay eyes on. I guess it's a good thing it wasn't because I now can look back at this picture and laugh so hard my sides ache. Go ahead, laugh. You know you want to. :) Anyways... the pictures that mom and my MIL put together actually were pretty good. It was amazing to see how many similar experiences Forrest and I had as kids, and was proof positive that we are soul-mates. And proof positive that Forrest loves me... I mean, he didn't run from the reception hall screaming, and we did have a fabulous honeymoon following some of the most embarrassing pictures of me, ever. Also? There's a marching band picture which I'm trying to summon up the courage to post because, A) I look horrible, B) I must show evidence that I was, in fact, a band geek, and C) I'm terribly afraid that you'll run screaming from you computer (or die laughing) and won't be my friend anymore. Because seriously, y'all... it's THAT bad. Anyways... to see some more pictures of me, and some of Forrest, head on over to our Flickr site and see them


I was over at Chris's site this morning, reading about the new Left Behind Games.

Folks, this is all shades of wrong. I mean, I knew LaHaye was a lunatic and all, but this is taking things a bit too far. I think this gets away from what Christianity is all about... Jesus was a pacifist, refusing to engage in any type of military war (which was expected of the Messiah)... he taught about turning the other cheek, about loving others, and issued stern warnings against the "moral majority" of his day. Anyways.... here's a summary of the game:

Wage a war of apocalyptic proportions in LEFT BEHIND: Eternal Forces - a real-time strategy game based upon the best-selling LEFT BEHIND book series created by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. Join the ultimate fight of Good against Evil, commanding Tribulation Forces or the Global Community Peacekeepers, and uncover the truth about the worldwide disappearances!

· Lead the Tribulation Force from the book series , including Rayford, Chloe, Buck and Bruce against Nicolae Carpathia – the AntiChrist.
· Conduct physical & spiritual warfare : using the power of prayer to strengthen your troops in combat and wield modern military weaponry throughout the game world.
· Recover ancient scriptures and witness spectacular Angelic and Demonic activity as a direct consequence of your choices.
· Command your forces through intense battles across a breathtaking, authentic depiction of New York City .
· Control more than 30 units types - from Prayer Warrior and Hellraiser to Spies, Special Forces and Battle Tanks!
· Enjoy a robust single player experience across dozens of New York City maps in Story Mode – fighting in China Town , SoHo , Uptown and more!
· Play multiplayer games as Tribulation Force or the AntiChrist's Global Community Peacekeepers with up to eight players via LAN or over the internet!

Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously? A Christian company is promoting violence.... pardon me while I go throw up. This just makes me sick.........

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Home Alone

Well, I'm officially bored. Shepherd is sleeping (has been since 6), and Forrest isn't home yet. He's having to work late on a project at work... poor guy, I know he's bound to be exhausted. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. What did I do with my late nights before being married and having a kid? I seem to have forgotten...

So far I've watched The Office marathon on NBC, walked for 20 minutes on the treadmill (yay me!) and capped the evening off with the much awaited brownie (I waited all day for it... again, yay!)

So now? What to do.... what to do... I think I'll go read some new blogs! Have any suggestions?


Okay, so I've started this post 3 times already, and after a few sentences of typing, I throw up my hands and delete everything. My creative dialogue just doesn't seem to be flowing lately, and that may have something to do with Shepherd waking up every 3 hours again. Oh, and also the lack of napping going on around here.

Moving on... last night, I had another one of those, "I'm so fat and ugly, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror" moments, and after 30 minutes of crying, and 30 minutes of consoling by my wonderful husband, I finally was able to admit that when I feel that way, I eat. I eat out of comfort. For instance, I uploaded pictures from the beach the day before yesterday. I saw the pictures of me, in a swimsuit, holding Shepherd in the water. I promptly got up from the computer, baked a batch of brownies, and ate half the pan. *sigh* I also expressed frustration with my inability to focus on anything lately, which is in part due to my ADHD. I was on medication before pregnancy, and in some ways, am glad that I'm no longer dependent on the medication... but in other ways? I kind of miss the ability to focus on a task and get it done. I miss being motivated to do things because I could focus on them for longer than 5 minutes. I know that the power to lose weight is within my reach (and only my reach), just getting there is kind of intimidating. The more we talked, the more I realized that I needed to grab this thing by the horns and do it. So Forrest and I made little notes to put everywhere in the house... on mirrors, inside cabinets, in the fridge, on the fridge, on the computer. We dubbed it Operation Slim Down 2006, starring me. My goal, which I think is totally reasonable, is to lose 1 pound a week until Christmas (if I lose more, great!). Which, if I do succeed, will put me 4 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. I am trying so hard to stick with this program, eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water, and exercising. Part of me is sad that it'll take that long to lose my pregnancy weight... because really? I want the weight off Yesterday. Yet, I know that it took 9 months to add the weight to my frame, and it'll take at least as long to lose the weight, if not more time.

So, as I finish typing this (just having gotten back from Weight Watchers), I managed to stay the same weight this week, which is a small miracle in and of itself, considering the copious amounts of full-fat homemade butter pecan ice cream that I ate, in addition to the gobs of grape casserole (yes... it's a casserole, no it's not cooked... and yes, it's divine) that I ate... and the half pan of brownies... So imagine my surprise when I stepped on the scale and it read the exact thing as last week. Tears sprung into my eyes, and I jumped for joy because, I know... I KNOW... that this week I will lose....