Yesterday was your three month birthday. I can hardly believe that I'm typing that out... three whole months. You are an entirely different baby today than you were three months ago... and I'm an entirely different person than I was. You're smiling every day, and getting so close to laughing. In the morning when I go to pick you up out of your crib, you look up at me, and smile. I love it when you smile.
I must admit, when we first had you, it was so hard to interact with you. I felt awkward as a mother, uncomfortable in this new role I was playing. You slept a lot, and cried a lot. And I was left feeling helpless, as I couldn't do a lot to help you. Then you smiled for the first time, and that was awesome. Suddenly, you became more of a little person than just a baby.
Then you started cooing and then you rolled over. Daily, you amaze me with what you can do, and what you seem to understand. You're so strong, too. You love standing up on my lap when I hold you. You love sitting up and watching everything. Last week, we bought you an exersaucer, and I thought you couldn't use it, but daddy put you in it last night to see what you'd do, and you played a while in there. Then today, you did it again, grabbing toys and smiling at us as if you'd just done the coolest thing ever. And it was the coolest thing ever.
You're going through a stage where you really just want to be with me, much to Daddy's dismay. Secretly, it makes me feel very, very important and special, because I'm the one you want to be with. I'm your favorite for now. I know one day it won't be this way, you'll follow daddy everywhere, and you'll roll your eyes at me when I tell you to wear your helmet when riding a bike, so for now, I'm enjoying being the apple of your eye. But don't get me wrong, it's not like you don't like being around other people. You love when we visit places and see other folks. You are laid back when being passed around the room, but when it comes time and you've had enough, you want mommy. That's got to be the coolest feeling ever...
This afternoon, I watched you roll over from your back to your front, well, almost all the way. Your arm was still in the way, but you didn't start crying right away, you seemed intent on figuring out how to get it out from under you. I know you'll figure that out soon. And soon after that, I know you'll be sitting up, then crawling, then walking... and my, oh my, that thought takes my very breath away. You're growing up. And you're developing into this beautiful child that I love with all of my heart. I'm not always the best mother I can be (I mean, I dropped a camera on your head) and sometimes I'll mess up (like trying to use Babywise as a guide for raising you, DOH!), but know that I love you more than you will ever know. Words cannot explain how much I love you, but I hope that one day, you'll just know that I love you utterly.
Happy Three Months, Pumpkin!