Monday, April 10, 2006

Book Burning Anyone?!

I will admit, I've fallen prey to the pluthera of parenting philosophies that are out there today. Are you attachment parenting? Are you letting your baby cry it out? What parenting philosophy do you subscribe to? I'm fed up with every single one of them. I'm sure they all have their good points, but let me explain my frustration.

In the height of the no-sleeping longer than 2 hours or 3 hours at a stretch, I was frustrated. Very frustrated. I began wondering when my child would sleep longer. Someone... and I wish I could remember who, so I could publicly flog them, recommended this book to me. The book, Babywise, sounded wonderful in theory, and so, I began reading it, and trying a few of the things it suggested in it. Then yesterday, as I researched it some more (because, I don't normally buy into things without some research, but had been too tired to research before now).... I came across this article, this article, and finally, this article.

Y'all, I'm furious. What I thought would help my baby, will hurt him. What I thought was a good suggestion, was a terrible one. This book has been flagged by the AAP as a dangerous parenting method. So I've officially thrown the book away. I'm furious too because I'm so fed up with the vast amounts of differing opinions on this subject of parenting. When our parents were raising us, there was almost NOTHING there to help them. But we have everything at the tips of our fingers. Just Google it, and it's there.

My conclusion? I will listen to my doctor, and my instinct. I refuse to buy into a particular "method" wholeheartedly because each one has it's drawbacks. Plus? I feel I know my son best... and someone telling me when to feed him, when to hold him, or how to raise him just doesn't sit right with me. My son has thrived so far, even though I'm getting little sleep. But my sleep is nothing when it comes to raising a healthy baby boy. I would give it all up to make sure he's okay. So Dr. Ezzo, take your book and SHOVE IT!


Laura said...

I ditched the same book! You go Girl! Your instincts are the best thing to follow. Once we got to about the 6-month mark it seemed much more appropriate to consider some "strategies." Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child (Marc Weissbluth) really does have some good stuff. You're actually already doing some of what it says by recognizing that Shepherd needs his "quiet time" and rest. Don't let him get overtired. Helping him establish a routine is good, but I'm not convinced you can do that until you know him better and he grows up some. So, that's the advice from a 7 1/2 month mom! Go with your gut. Burn Babywise!

Kristin said...

I read the same book (pre-baby) & thought it sounded great, in theory. Then when Logan was born I tested it out & realized that my baby isn't a progammable robot. I'm with you in burning all of the parenting books. So far, I find them to be annoying & stupid.

Isabel said...

I'm trying to decide if I should even read the links on your post. Because I'm not ready to be upset. And I don't even have my baby yet.

But you're have to do what you feel is best for you and your family.

(you live in an apartment, right? Because I do to and I'm worried about my baby crying and my neigobors hating me. Any thoughts on that?!)

Tess said...

Hi, I'm new to reading your blog and it's a very interesting read. I have two children a girl age 5 and a boy age 21 months. My advise to new parents are to do what feels right. You know your baby and you know his personality. Yes, it takes time to learn these things but they are worth the time invested. I think all parents should breastfeed and not let their children 'cry it out'. other than that, just do what feels right. sorry for the long post.

Lola said...

Being a parent of 3 all I could its hard. Technically he will start letting you sleep longer when you least expect it. Plus do what you feel is right. Women been raising babies since the dawn of time. And after I read an article on ASKDRSEARS.COM on how some lady let her baby cry it out and the in morning she found him dead... SIDS. The guilt would be unbearable I would think, simply the what if.

TulipGirl said...

"Y'all, I'm furious. What I thought would help my baby, will hurt him. What I thought was a good suggestion, was a terrible one."

*hug* Yeah, it's really alarming that loving, intelligent mamas can read BW and buy into it. We did. . . And had the milk supply loss, infant weight loss, stress, guilt, etc, etc. . .

It took us longer than y'all, but we did ditch it and I'm so thankful!

Erika said...

GREAT POST! It's absolutely ridiculous all the material out there.

Kathyt said...

Great post. And he's not Dr. Ezzo....educationally speaking, he's just your ordinary high school graduate with an MA in "ministry" that he got from a program that awarded credit for life experience in lieu of a college degree.

Normally babies start settling into their *own* daily rhythm for feedings and naps around 3 months.

Also developmentally speaking babies around 7-8 weeks old do tend to start sleeping longer stretches for awhile until the next growth spurt kicks in!

Enjoy your baby. He will be big before you know it. He's adorable.