8 months

Shepherd,

I can't believe it's been 8 months already. It honestly seems that just yesterday you turned 7 months. The changes you've been through in the last month have been amazing. I've watched you learn new things at an alarming rate, and seen you grow more and more independent.

This month you started crawling. You started out pulling your little body along on your belly like a soldier and graduated to the full out crawl/run that moves you from point A to point B in lightning speed. You're a quick little bugger, too. So quick that I've had my hands full trying to keep unsafe things out of your little hands. You've also gotten very strong, and each diaper change has become a wrestling match. One night, I gave up and let you crawl around naked. You would have thought I'd given you the keys to heaven. You giggled and crawled from room to room, thoroughly enjoying your freedom.


Then, as if crawling wasn't enough, you started pulling up to standing. You'd previously been able to pull up to kneeling position, but you now pull up to standing, and even cruise a little. Last week, while your dad was playing with you, you were holding on to the couch, and you let go, standing independently for several seconds. You've done this several times since then, and, while I'm excited to see you grow up, it's also terrifying at the same time. I want nothing more than to protect you from every fall. I want to be there and catch you every time, but I'm quickly realizing that I cannot. You have to fall to learn how to get back up. And sometimes that means you get bumps and bruises. Each time you get a little bump, I scoop you up in my arms, and hold you, waiting for the tears to subside, quietly contemplating the future. How many times will you get hurt? And not just physical pain. Will I be able to protect you from the pain in life? And I know I cannot. And that is so hard to accept as a mother. To step back, and let you fall, so you'll learn to get back up.

You've also been quite a handful lately. Getting in to everything. Sometimes I feel as though you're testing me, as you look back over your shoulder and grin while pulling every toy out of your toy box. At dinner, you've master blowing raspberries, which would be adorable if your mouth wasn't full of food. I know you're too young to really know what you're doing, and that you're only learning how it feels to blow raspberries, and learning about the inside of the box, and what it's like empty. So, I'm learning patience as you explore the world around you, with all it's shapes, noises, and spaces.



And last but not least, you are daily teaching me to slow down and enjoy life. You're teaching me the joy of laughter and silliness. You're teaching me patience, responsibility, but above all else, you're teaching me about love, and it's eternal depth. I knew what love what long before you were born, but never have I felt it as powerful as I feel it when I look at you. You are my son, and you'll always be loved, no matter what you do, no matter what happens, I will always love you.



Happy 8 months booger bear,

Love,
Mommy

The Cheese Stands Alone

If by "cheese", you mean Shepherd.

And by "Stands Alone" you mean letting go of the couch, and standing upright, alone, unsupported, for 3 seconds.

And, of course, it could be a fluke.

Unless.... he did it a minute later, for another 3 seconds.

If you need me, I'll be sitting in the corner, gently rocking back and forth, as I was totally unprepared for the transpiring of these events. Have I mentioned how fast he's growing up!?!?

On Being an Uncle

And now, a treat for you all. I asked my brother to guest blog today's post, and boy did he pull through. Y'all give Justin a big ol' bloggers welcome!! (and check out his blog sometime)

I remember the night clearly. We had driven up from North Carolina, braved the ungodly NoVa traffic, and found our way into the hospital waiting room. After visiting for a few hours in Corinne's room, it was finally "time." And we all know when a pregnant woman is in labor in the hospital, "time" means there's about to be some pushing, some yelling, and you don't want to be here so go on and get out. A few hours and a hospital cafeteria dinner later, we figured that baby had to have come out by now, so we headed (pun intended) back upstairs.

I remember seeing Forrest come out to greet us, tears of joy down his cheek and the bright glow of pride on his face, telling us "he's so beautiful." And boy was he right. Shepherd had arrived, and we all gathered 'round the little one, marvelling that another cast member in the Human Story had heard the call of the Creator, stepped out from behind the curtain, and here he was. And here we were, anxious to see what role Shepherd would play. But for now, here he was, a tiny, fragile newborn who was adjusting to the strange and unfamiliar place we call Earth. His role for the time was to bring joy into the hearts of his mommy and daddy and the rest of the supporting cast.

Now that eight months have passed, it is obvious he has not only suceeded at his role, he's adapted it. Any new actor is bound to be the center of attention, but Shepherd doesn't just soak it all up, he rewards his audience with a big smile and maybe even a giggle (which by the way, I have determined are the key to world peace). And while some newbies don't quite meet our expectations, Shepherd has surpassed expectations as he's already scooting around on all fours and pulling up to stand at every chance he gets. On a more vain note, he's the cutest baby on the block, charming everyone he sees.

When Shepherd was first born, I had no idea what being an uncle would be like. In many ways, I still don't. I imagine it will change from year to year, just like Shepherd. But the past eight months have given me a glimpse of things to come, and I can't wait.

I have also had the blessing of seeing Corinne and Forrest blossom into their roles as parents, and I stand in awe at their performances. Their love for Shepherd is so abundantly clear and beautiful, and his love for them shows in his smile when Forrest walks into the room, or when he snuggles with his mommy.

I am so excited to see how Shepherd grows and how our relationship grows with him. And I am still amazed at the miracle that is life. To see such a beautiful child reminds us of creation, and it reminds us of our own infancy, or the loss of it.

To quote G.K. Chesterton (forgive the long quote, but it's too good to edit it), "Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life. The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore. Heaven may encore the bird who laid an egg. If the human being conceives and brings forth a human child instead of bringing forth a fish, or a bat, or a griffin, the reason may not be that we are fixed in an animal fate without life or purpose. It may be that our little tragedy has touched the gods, that they admire it from their starry galleries, and that at the end of every human drama man is called again and again before the curtain."

As I recall the miracle that is Shepherds life, I wonder if Shepherd heard the voice of God on the 20th night of February, 2006, whispering "do it again." Shepherd has stepped out before the curtain, and I can't wait to witness his performance.

Deflated

I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. At least intelligent enough to have common sense. But somehow, last night, the idiocity (is that even a word!? Forgive me if not) of my brain took over, and I was held hostage by the TV until close to 12 am. What was so fascinating? Well, there was Lost. Which, totally has me sucked in. To the point where I regularly dream that I'm one of the survivors. The of course, followed by Project Runway. I mean, who CAN resist the wonderful Tim Gunn?? ha. Then, when I should have headed to bed, I switched to Comedy Central and watched the tail end of the Daily Show, and most of the Colbert Report. So by the time I went to sleep, it was after midnight. Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID Corinne.

You see, I don't function very well without sleep. At least one decent stretch of sleep, that is. And last night, I got nothing of the sorts. Yes, I did sleep. But very poorly. I got 2.5 hours before Shepherd woke up needing to eat. Then, he woke up again at 5 am because his diaper had leaked. Nothing irritates me more than when a wet diaper wakes my son up. Seriously. I know that if he'd not leaked, he would have slept later, allowing me at the very least, another hour of sweet, blessed sleep. But again, this is my row to hoe. I know it's my fault.

My only hope now is that Shepherd will take a monster morning nap here in another hour, and I'll be afforded at least an hour and half of sleep. We'll see if that happens... until then, I'll watch Shepherd crawl around, sitting up on his own, and pulling to standing. I swear he's 8 seconds away from cruising, since he took several steps along the side of the couch yesterday. He's growing up so fast.... need evidence (or a good dose of cuteness with your morning latte)? You asked for it!!!

A Conversation in two parts

Me: (on the phone) Hello? Apartment people? I've got a cat I need you to pick up.
Them: A cat?
Me: Yes, a cat. A kitten, actually.
Them: You have a cat? You know that's against the rules.
Me: Yes, I know that. I caught this kitten outside. Actually, yesterday I found him under my hood.
Them: Your hood?
Me: Yes, my hood. The hood of my car. I found the cat inside.
Them: Inside?
Me: Yes, inside. I heard a meowing coming from my car, and I popped the hood and there was the kitty, stuck behind the transmission.
Them: Wow.
Me: Yes. Now, could you send someone to pick up this kitten?
Them: Is it the same kitten?
Me: Yes. the same exact kitten.
Them: Hold Please

Me: (to self) Maybe this is a bad idea, maybe I should just take the cute thing to the pound myself. I have no idea if these people will kill the cat or take it to the animal rescue.

Them: Hello, are you there?
Me: Yes
Them: Okay, is the kitten in a box?
Me: No. I'm holding it.
Them: You're holding it? (note: I'm growing tired of them repeating my answers back to me)
Me: Yes, I'm holding it. It actually is letting me hold it.
Them: Okay. I'll send someone right over.


------------15 minutes later--------------

Two men pull up in a truck. One's an old guy, and one's a young guy.

Old guy: (rolls down window) Why don't ya just take that there fella home with ya? Seems to have taken a likin' to ya.
Me: It's against the rules.
Old guy: Ahhh, damn the rules, who cares. Keep it!
Me: Um.. and my husbands allergic to cats.
Old guy: Oh...
Young guy: (walks around back of truck toward me) Here lil' guy. (takes kitten from me)
Old guy: That don't look like one of them damn cats we've been after. Sure you found it here?
Me: Uh, yeah. I actually found it yesterday in my car.
Old guy: In your car!?!?
Me: Yes... well, not in my car, but under the hood
Old guy: They do that sometimes
Me: (to self)No Duh...
Old guy: Yeah, we've been trying to catch them there cats for several months, but the damn lady on the second floor... which apartment do you live in?
Me: 13
Old guy: Well, number 10 keeps feeding the damn cats, and when I've set up some traps, she just trips the traps. One day she came out hollerin' at me about takin' the cats away. Crazy lady... (at this point he rambles on and on).............
Me: (against my better judgement to keep my mouth shut so I can go inside already) Isn't there something you can do to stop her?
Young guy: (gently holding kitten.. which, I'm glad because he seems to not want to snap it's neck) Yeah, we're thinkin' bout writin' her a letter or something.
Me: Yeah, like that will work.
Old guy: Well, either that or poison the cat food.
Me: (horrified) you wouldn't do that, would you?
Old guy: (laughing) I'm just jerkin' your chain... shucks, I wouldn't hurt a thang.
Me: okay...

Old guy: (to young guy) Guess we better get that thing to the pound, eh?
Young guy: (carries the kitten gently, setting it in a box) Sure.

Old guy: (to me) You take care of yourself lil' missy...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
And off they drove, in the complete opposite direction of the pound... towards the woods at the back of the property. I swear, I hope they didn't kill the thing... maybe they were just looking for more kitties?! Let's hope so. In the meantime, I'll be filing a complaint about our neighbors in number 10, since they seem to be the root of the cat problem, thus the root of the flea problem we had earlier this year, and thus the root of the rats that are eating the cats food. Heh... just kidding on the rats, but I'm terrified that they'll come out since the woman leaves WHOLE PIECES OF CHICKEN out for the dumb cats. Like, I mean, the woman goes to KFC, buys buffalo wings, and sets the open box out for the cats. What cat eats buffalo wings?!?! And what kind of nut-job goes around tripping traps for stray cats, who keep multiplying in number? A Crazy lady... that's who....

Edited to Add: I can't remember the last time I used the phrase, "No Duh". Am I terribly out of it or is that still used??? I think I was in middle school the last I used that... maybe early high school... wow

Help!!

I need the help of you, dear friends. Say you are fortunate enough to have friends (what? I used to not have friends!). Say that you are invited to a baby shower for one of those friends. Say that friend is just that... a friend, not a really close one, but a friend. You don't talk but maybe once a week, and that's because you see each other at bible study. Now... say you receive a second invitation, to ANOTHER baby shower. Do you:

a.) Go, even though you've already bought them a gift and attended one shower, but this time, top them all by purchasing the most expensive item on their registry.

b.) Chuck the invite in the trash, and forget it ever happened. Blame the US Postal Service when asked why you didn't attend.

c.) Politely decline, citing a recent bout of deadly meningitis that you seem to have contracted.

d.) {insert your answer}

Crawling 102

Shepherd crawls some more (video taken last week).

My Soapbox

Last night, as Forrest worked on his brother's wedding invitation, I flipped through the channels, bored, finding nothing to watch. I landed on our local PBS station, and immediately, was sucked into Frontline's story, Private Warriors. I sat and watched with amazement and horror, as Martin Smith uncovered layer after layer of information on the private contractors in Iraq.

If you have the time, I encourage you to watch the show (available online here).

I walked away feeling utterly disgusted with KBR and Halliburton, as well as walking away with a renewed passion against the war in Iraq. We have become an occupying force there, and it's still unclear why we are there. It seems as though we are there because there are millions to be made in contracting. Now, I know there are plenty of people out there who are going to disagree with me, and you have every right to disagree, but for one moment, pause and just think of what's going on here. We are stuck in a war, that was originally started because we thought there were WMD's. We invaded, only to find no WMD's, and so now, our reasons have changed. We're there because Saddam was a bad, bad man. I feel like it changes every day. We're in a war that we're told is supposed to make us safer, but I don't feel safer. I feel like everyone in the world hates our country. I'm annoyed at the assumption that if you don't support the war, you don't support our troops, and if you don't support the war, you're unpatriotic. I know this is a soapbox that I'm on, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of sitting idly by and doing nothing... and yet, I don't know what to do. I fear for my nation. I fear that my son will grow up in a country that blindly follows what we're told. I fear that my son may one day be sent to fight in this war (if we're in it that long, and it seems we are). I fear that the beauty of America is quickly fading, and we are rapidly becoming an imperialistic nation, engaging in nation-building (which Bush said he would not do in his 2000 debates) that ostracizes us from the rest of the world.

I'll step down now from my soap box, but I challenge you to at least watch a few of the chapters on that story... if only because we owe it to the men who have died fighting in this war.

Sleep, Blessed Sleep

For fear of jinxing myself, I've not uttered a word on this blog about the latest development in our household. This past week, Shepherd began sleeping through the night. By sleeping through the night, I mean he sleeps solid from around 8 pm until 4 am, when he wakes up hungry and we feed him. After he eats at 4 am, he goes back to sleep for another 4 hours. Making my life wonderful again.

The change comes along with some other changes we've made and changes he's made. We've switched him over to formula (milk supply issues here) and he's started crawling. Both of those things were helping with his sleep, but adding some white noise to the room, and he was out for the night. Initially, we started with some white noise via the static on the radio. That was all I was going to do, until Saturday, at a consignment sale, I found a white noise machine for $4. The thing works like a charm. It plays different sounds, such as rain, a summer night, a brook, the ocean, and wind. Add to that another complimenting noise (if you want) such as a bird singing, a seagull, some thunder, and you've got the most relaxing sounds ever. Seriously, I want one for our room! :)

But with the sleep comes a very energetic little boy. An energetic little boy who is getting better at crawling every single day. Who loves him some cheerios and has learned how to (sorta) feed them to himself. He is growing up so incredibly fast, I don't know what to do! I feel as though any day now he could be getting on a school bus for kindergarten. Does it ever slow down? Or does it get progressivly faster as the years go on? I just want to enjoy my little boy while he's still little...

(AHHH!! He melts my heart!! He just looked up at me and said, "Da-Da?" (His word for both Forrest and I, we think...) I'm going to go now and hug my little snookum. :)

Home

It's amazing to me the simple things that make life so wonderful. Yesterday afternoon, Shepherd and I went on a little walk. I put him in our new Kelty backpack (that we bought used for $20, which totally rocks!) and we took off walking. He babbled away contentedly in the pack, gazing up at the birds flying south, and occasionally pulled at my ponytail as if to say, "Move along, Mommy... move along." We walked down to the playground, and into the field beside the playground. The field ends at some thick brush, and drops off into a creekbed. I would say the creek is 100 yards down, and if there wasn't a whole lot of traffic, you could probably hear it from the top of the hill. We walked along the crest of that hill, gazing into the woods, watching bluejays flit from tree to tree, calling out warning to other birds who dared to bother them. We listened to the crickets chirping their evening song. I paused a moment, and it seemed Shepherd paused too, as he sat still and quiet, and we both listened to the sounds around us. I took a deep breath in, and for a moment, I was home.

No, I wasn't back in North Carolina, but for a moment, this place, this open field, in Northern Virginia, was home. I thought to myself after that how I'd never felt that, and how wonderful it was to let that seep into my heart. To allow where I am to be home, even if it's not where I'd want to be. And all of the sudden, the silliness of my complaining and desiring to be home hit me. I'd been wasting so much energy focusing on getting back to where I'd been, that I'd lost the joy of being where I am. For so long, I've felt like a stranger, walking around these apartments, being inside my apartment, with none of it feeling familiar, though I'd been here for some time. I'd felt left out, alone, and far away from the things I loved. But with that one breath, and in that stillness, I was able to claim a piece of the now, and accept it for what it is.... Home.

To Blog, or Not to Blog, That is the Question

There's been some discussion around our house about not blogging anymore. Mostly, I've been discussing it with Forrest. You see, it's really hard to find time during the day to blog. And, I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable about writing some things. You see, a lot of people I know read this. And people I don't know too, but I'm worried that I may slip up and say something I shouldn't... or worse, that I may somehow reveal information about our family that could put us in danger.

I know, I know, this is paranoia, but still... It's a thought that I've been wrestling with. There's a fine dance between sharing stories and telling too much. And I dance that line a lot. Or at least I feel I do. You see, I'm a firm believer in full transparency with friends. Close friends. And it's easy to view this blog as a "friend" that I can tell all of my problems to. The thing of it is, not everyone out there is my friend. Or at least, not close enough for me to share some of the information I want to share.

I've thought about starting another blog, completly annonymous, but then what would be the point of me writing?? I struggle with that as it is, as often I feel my writing is poor, sloppy, and uninspired. Yes, it's wonderful for family to catch up with what Shepherd is doing, but I can do that with a password protected blog and all. As for the rest of the readers, I don't feel I have much of an audience anymore (mostly due to the fact that I have no time to comment on other people's sites, and often don't respond to comments because of time issues... for that I'm sorry).

Granted, this blog has served as a wonderful tool for getting my thoughts out on paper. It's also introduced me to one of my only close friends right now, who also blogs. I wouldn't trade that friendship for the world, and I admit that the friendship would not have even developed had it not been for our blogs. I also feel that there are things that mothers go through that we can share for others to see and learn from.... if only to discover that we aren't the only ones in the world struggling with this whole motherhood thing. I like to think that what I write may help someone out there understand that we are not alone. We are in this together. But lately... I don't feel like I make that difference. I feel that my writings are redundant to all the other mothers writing out there. (And no, I'm not looking for pity here, I'm just being honest) This has kept me from writing... that and the fact that almost everyone I know in real life reads this or knows about my blog. It's kind of hard to write honestly when you know that someone out there, who you know face to face in real life, is reading.

So if I spout off about how arrogant George Bush is, and how I cannot stand to watch the man on TV, and how I can't stand the Republican Party right now, I'm treking into things I wouldn't normally discuss with half of the people in real life. I would never talk about politics with people from home (besides my family). It's just something I don't do... not because I don't buy what I believe... no, it's actually to preserve those friendships. You see, in real life, politics aren't the pinnicle of importance in my friendships. Sure it's nice to have someone to gab about the state of things with, but I can be friends with a Republican, just as much as I can be friends with a Democrat. So as a matter of self-preservation, I just don't talk politics.

I use politics as only one little example. There are a million other things that I could talk about, but don't... simply because people know who I am. I understand now why authors often use a fake name when they author books.

So what do you think I should do? (If there's anyone out there reading anymore... and judging from the responses, I'll kind of know who read and who doesn't) Should I pack up shop, and close the doors on TwoPinkLines? Should I keep on blogging here? Or should I create another blog, completely annonymous, and lose all of my current readers??? How do you handle these things??

Learning to Crawl

All that crawling has worn him out!
Shepherd has officially "crawled". I have some video footage that I'm working on editing (read: when Shepherd finally takes a nap, I'll try to post the video). He's grown so much over the past week. We just had our Doctor's appointment to re-check his ear to make sure the ear infection is cleared up (and it is), and he's gained 8 oz. since last Thursday!!!! Unbelievable!!! It's probably due to the fact that I've been supplementing with formula and trying to wean Shepherd to formula. He's grown so much!!! Check back later, and hopefully I'll get some pictures or videos up!!!

Lesson Learned

You cannot sterilize excersaucer toys in the microwave sterilizer.

They will melt.

And will stink.

And your child will have a toyless excersaucer (with maybe 3 toys left on it that wouldn't fit into the sterilizer) and you will feel really, really, REALLY stupid.



Oh and yes, we're still sick....

7 months

Dear Shepherd,

Today, you turn 7 months old. This past month has flown by. You're changing every day, so fast that I can't begin to document all of the changes.


For starters, you have been working on sticking out your tongue at us. This has been quite a joy to watch, and has brought many laugh. You started with just moving your tongue around in your mouth. But after studying our faces long and hard, you began to try to push out your tongue. You made it to the space between your gums and your lips, and for a while, I joked that it looked as though you were chewing tobacco (which, if you ever do, you will be in big, BIG trouble, mister!). And two days ago, you finally got your tongue out. The look on your face was unadulterated joy. You were just like the big people who stick their tongues out at you. And finally, you could be one of us. We laughed, I cried, and we played the game of sticking our tongues out at each other. You love this game. Especially if we're driving somewhere, and at the stoplight, I turn around and make a face at you in the mirror we've put in the backseat. You laugh and try to stick out your tongue some more.


This month also brought the introduction of a big, BIG dog in your life. You'd met Maggie (Gram and Grandaddy's dog) before, but you were too little to remember it. At first, we were worried that Maggie would knock you over, or get too excited and hurt you, but we tried anyways. At first, you were very scared. You whimpered and clung to me. But we sat there, while I held you, and you summoned all of your courage up and reached out and touched the big monster. Maggie sat really still, and you patted her nose over and over. Finally with a squeal, you stuck your hand in Maggie's mouth. What possessed you to do this, I don't know, but you had decided that this dog was your friend, and she wouldn't hurt you. After that, you loved the doggie, and watched her everywhere she went.


Another thing we've enjoyed this month has been the change in weather. It'd been cooler and not so hot, so we've been able to go to the park and swing. You love swinging, especially if there are other kids around. You smile at them as if to ask them to watch how big you are, swinging. We've had a lot of fun playing at the playground, and another one of your favorite parts is the bubble mirrors. We stand there and make faces at each other, laughing at each other.


And last but not least, this month you've been sick. You've had a raging ear infection that probably started as a cold. For that, I'm very, VERY sorry. It probably came from one of the kids in the nursery at church or something, but irregardless, you've handled it like a pro. I hardly knew it was bothering you until you started waking up more at night crying. Finally, figuring that the runny nose wasn't just teething, we went to the doctor. The doctor looked in your little ear and said, "Yep! Ear infection!". So we got you on a round of antibiotics and hopefully that will clear up soon. But through it all, you've still been a happy, sweet little boy. Every morning when Daddy brings you into our room for our morning cuddle, you smile at us and happily snuggle in with us.



I love you SO much little man. I cannot fathom my life without you. You make each day bright with your smile, and each day, I'm amazed at the wonderful joy of having you in my life.

With all of my love, Happy 7 months,

Mommy

sick day

Am working on Shepherd's 7 month post. In the meantime, we're snuggled in with an ear infection (Shepherd) and a nasty cold (me). This is the roughest I've felt in a while....

more later

Weekend fun

Weekend fun
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Wow, what a weekend. I can't believe it's Monday already. We had a great weekend. Friday Forrest had his annual review at work, and got a lot of positive feedback. He was very encouraged and walked away with more confidence in himself. So to celebrate, we went out to eat. We found a good mexican restaurant, and enjoyed some good fajitas, and of course, a strawberry daquiri for me! After dinner, we headed home, got Shepherd ready for bed, and plopped down on the couch to watch several episodes of Arrested Development, season 3. After an hour, we went on to bed, and were in the bed at 9:30.

We got a good nights rest, and on Saturday, woke up early and decided to poke around Baltimore for the day. There was an oyster-fest at Fells Point, and we thought we'd check it out, as well as check out the harbor area. The oysterfest was sponsered by Max's on Broadway, so we stopped by to check out Max's for lunch. They had over 100 beers on tap, including our favorite cider, Woodchuck. With a glass of the Amber cider, we chowed down on some wings and a hamburger we split. After lunch, we headed to the harbor and walked around, checking out downtown. Baltimore is so beautiful. The historic areas were gorgeous, and walking around the harbor was fun. We've decided to make a day trip back to the aquarium because, dang, does that thing look like fun. :)

Saturday night, I decided to try my hand at something new, and cooked a vegetarian dinner. We've talked on and off about eating more vegetarian meals (not cutting meat out entirely), and I finally took a stab at cooking with Tofu. I made Cocounut Curry Tofu and a vegetable stir fry, and if I may say so myself, it was delicious. I'm not normally one to go for Tofu, but it turned out so good, that I'm going to try to find more recipes for it, and try them! Any of you have suggestions for vegetarian meals?

Sunday, we went to church, and then came home and hung out. We got a call from Forrest's cousin, Beth, and went to meet her for dinner. She hadn't seen Shepherd yet, and we had a great time hanging out and visiting her. Shepherd of course, turned on the charm, and wore himself out charming everyone. He passed out in the car, and didn't wake up when we carried him inside. We were worn out too, and ended up in bed early, again... but no one's complaining, as I got almost a full night's sleep...

So, all in all, a great weekend... oh, that, and Shepherd learned to stick out his tongue... :) More pictures over at Flickr

Crawling 101

Shepherd demonstrates his mad skillz he's learned in Introduction to Crawling, including the grand "Swan Dive" onto the floor in attempt to grab something just out of reach. I'd say he's mastered this skill, and can lunge towards just about anything...

Mad props, kiddo...

Rain, Rain Go Away

I know, I know... we need the rain. And as much as I know this, I can't stand rainy days. Or at least, I can't stand being at home, alone, with a kid, on rainy days. It used to be nice, as I could cuddle up to Forrest on a rainy day, and just wrap up and watch TV. But now that there's a baby here, I don't watch much TV during the day (night time is another story, more on that in a minute). So getting outside is out of the question, and the only thing that allows me to walk around without getting totally soaked is going to the mall. Most people would love to go to the mall, and usually I do. But the state of my silloutte lately has me hating to shop. I'm not used to buying in the sizes that I am right now, much less am I used to disgusing my figure (even when pregnant, I liked things fitted, and it was okay, because my belly? It's a baby! not flab!). So I hate shopping for me. As for Shepherd, he has all the clothes he needs (well, I did need to get him another pair of pants, as it's no longer shorts weather, and the only pants he has are too big in the waist) (oh, and a jacket, as it's way too chilly out for just a t-shirt) (And, I guess there was the must-have, a-freakin-dorable hat that he can wear this winter... I mean it was on sale!!) (okay, okay, I'll fess up, I bought one more thing, but all of this stuff was on sale... I swear it was!! I was even able to pay cash for it...) So I guess I can always shop for Shepherd... speaking of that, I found the coolest store out there to shop for kids clothes. Next size up, I'm going to H&M for his clothes, because they are so awesome!!! (I would link to some outfits, but can't find pictures on their site) So, after walking around the mall (pretty fast, trying to get somewhat of a workout), we're home.

I mentioned about watching TV at night... Forrest and I just finished watching season 2 of Lost, trying to catch up for the new season. We are hooked... can't wait until the new season starts. Also? I'm hooked on Project Runway. Yes, I know... cheesy reality show, but seriously? I'm hooked. I was a tad sad to see Kayne go home last night, but understood why. I love, love, LOVE Michael, and hope he wins. I love how he helped Kayne out by pulling him aside and pointing out that the dress looked kinda "working girl-ish". Him and Laura both... I like. I know most people probably don't care much about the show, but I have always loved watching people make clothes. When I was little, I used to make clothes for my Barbies. I would spend hours trying to make something cool, but never had the skills necessary to make it work. These people are awesome. They can make something out of nothing in a matter of hours... and I love that.

Enough about TV... I'd better go, little man is waking up from a nap! :)

New Stages

We are entering new stages here at our house. Shepherd is starting to crawl. So far it's a few steps here, and a few steps here, mostly accompanied by lots of rolling around and across the room. So much so that as soon as I'd turn my back, Shepherd would have something valuable (like our camera) and would be chewing on it. So... we've introduced the play-yard.

I'd been looking for weeks for a used SuperYard XT, but hadn't had any luck. So finally, my mom, with desperate foreknowing, urged me to go ahead and purchase one. She knew what kinds of changes my world was about to make, so with her prodding (and funding, thanks mom!) I went and purchased one. It... is... AWESOME. For once I can actually put Shepherd down, and run to the bathroom really quick without having to sit him on the floor of our bathroom (ew!) and let him play with the toilet paper. It's also nice in that I don't have to clean his toys up every day. I can put a few toys in there, and just leave them. YAY! Organized chaos!!! :)

Also? This has meant the end of a lot of my free time during the day, as I'm so worn out from playing with him, that when he naps, I nap, so no blogging during napping. And right now? I'm furiously typing as he plays contendedly in the play yard, so I probably need to go.

So yay for almost crawling! Boo for no time to read blogs or write.

Remembering

I can't believe it was 5 years ago today that our world stood still. I remember that day like it was yesterday, the events and everything etched into my mind. I woke up early that day, to get ready for class. I sat at my computer, logged into Instant Messanger, and read my friend's away message, "Turn on the News. Any station." Odd, I thought... so I tried to log into cnn.com, but I couldn't. So I walked downstairs, turned on the TV just in time to watch the second plane crash into the World Trade Center. It was the first, and only time, that there was silence... long, awkward silence, on a television news station. I ran into my roommates bathroom, yelled for her to get out of the shower, she needed to see this. Wrapped in a towel, soaking wet, she sat next to me on the couch and we watched as the towers burned, and then as they fell. I sat there, as my roommate began sobbing, and I just sat there. I felt numb. I remember thinking that this was it... that someone was declaring war on us, and that we'd have to fight. I was angry, sad, stunned, shocked... so many emotions at once, I didn't know what to do.

So I did what I knew how to do. I went to class. I parked my car, and started walking to class. I looked up in the air, and remember thinking how odd it was that there were no contrails that day. Just clear blue sky... it was a beautiful day. I got to class, and everyone was just sitting there, quietly turning over what had happened in their minds. My friend Alison walked in, and somehow, she'd not heard that it wasn't just an accident. And then, someone told her a US Airways plane had crashed. She totally lost it crying. Her father was a pilot, and had a flight out that morning. I told her that I thought I rememeberd them saying it was a United flight, not US Airways. Still, she could not calm down, and was becoming hysterical. I took her outside, and gave her my cell phone to call her mom (Yes, just 5 years ago, most people didn't have cell phones). As I sat there on the grass, listening to her confirm that her father was okay, I thought of everyone who's family wasn't okay. I looked towards the contrail-less sky once again, and let a few tears slide.... the first tears I'd shed yet. Our teacher arrived, and dismissed the class. No one had classes the rest of the day.

I wandered around campus aimlessly for a while after that. Then finally got in my car, drove home, and sat in front of the TV. I watched as they played the footage over, and over, and over, and over again. Disgusted, I finally had to pull myself away from the TV, because I realized that watching it all over again wasn't helping me... I went upstairs, laid down, and cried myself to sleep. I don't remember waking up after that... although I know I did. I don't remember what I did that night... but I know I did something. But no matter what I did next, I know that forever, our world was changed.

Betcha didn't know...

my son is a tried and true gangsta....

He's even perfected the art of the drugged out, tough guy look....

Great-Grandmother's Song

With a little prodding from my dad, my grandmother sang this song. She used to sing this to me when I was a little girl, and I was amazed that she could remember all the words.... they go like this:

Well, I went to the beanery and I walked around the block
And I walked right into a bakery shop
And I picked three donuts out of the grease
Handed the man a five-cent piece
Well, he looked at the nickle and he looked at me
And he said, "Kind sir, can't you plainly see? There's a hole in your nickle and it's all the way through"
Says I, "There's a hole in your donut too!"

Early Riser

My little man woke up early yesterday in a good mood, and was imitating me laughing and grabbing for the camera... the bed head?? Oh, it kills me it's so cute!!

Irritations

You know how there are things in life that irritate you, and you know that you should just chill the heck out? But somehow, you can't get over them??

One of my things is people who refuse to merge with traffic. The signs are everywhere, on both sides of the road, that the right lane ends, to merge left (or vice versa), and they refuse to merge, plowing through as if the lane they are in continues into infinity. I'll admit, I'm pretty anal when it comes to the signs, and I merge as soon as I see one. I like to think that I'm helping my fellow citizins out by refusing to "bottleneck" down where the lanes actually merge. The worst is when people in the lane that keeps straight switch to the lane that merges, and fly around traffic, only to try to cut in at the bottleneck. THIS is why there's a line of cars a mile long, people like you, you idiot. I hate it when people do this, so of course, I pull my car as close to the car in front of me, because I know the jackass who pulled around everyone will try to cut in front of me. Sure enough, he tries... in the south? people would wait for a nicer person to let them in (i.e. the man behind me), but up here? THEY COME ON OVER!!!! They act as though it's YOUR fault that they waited for the last possible moment to merge. In fact, I often get flipped the bird by those drivers.

Am I missing something? It seems to me it should be me waving my one fingered victory salute (so eloquently stated by our resident idiot president), but instead, I'm the one cursed, flipped off, and nearly killed. And I sit there, steam coming out of my ears, as I follow the jerk until the lanes open up again.

Carolina on my Mind

Having just returned from a weeklong jaunt to "The South" to visit my folks and in-laws, I've been turning over the week in my mind a lot. In fact, last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, thinking I was back at my house in NC, and couldn't for the life of me figure out where I was. Finally it dawned on me that I was home, in Northern Virginia, back to the grind.

We had a great trip down. Dad came up and picked me up, and we drove down on Saturday, stopping to visit my grandmother for a short jaunt.


She was doing well, and brightened up when Shepherd and I walked in. After cooing and tickling him, she started singing to him with our help prompting the song. She sang my favorite song start to finish without hesitation, and I managed to get it on video. (The video is quite large though, so I'm having trouble posting it) After visiting her, we drove on down to my parents house, settled in, and had a blast just hanging out with them.

My parents Golden Retriever, Maggie, is a very excitable dog. Most Goldens are pretty calm, but Maggie breaks the mold. She jumps and squeels when she sees someone new, or someone she hasn't seen in a while. But after we got settled in, Maggie calmed down enough to play with Shepherd. And much to my surprise, she was exceedingly gentle.




More at Flicker.

After half of a week at my parents, my in-laws picked me up and we headed up to their house to visit and get ready for the big party. What big party? Oh, I may have forgotten to write about that. You see, 5 years ago this month, Forrest finished his treatment for Hodgkins Lymphoma. So this month, Forrest celebrates 5 years cancer-free. So we decided that it was such a great thing to celebrate, that we'd invite all of our closest family and friends and have a good ol' time. Poor Shepherd was a little overwhelmed, so he went to bed a little early. But not before meeting some of our good friends.





The rest of the weekend flew by, but we had a great time visiting everyone. It was hard coming back, but we're back.

We're Back

Sorry for the lack of posting this past week and a half... I've been in NC with family and slow internet connection. We got back last night at 11:50 pm, after having to delay leaving NC until the little man was asleep because he screamed for 30 minutes solid from Nana's house to Gram's house. And I'm not talking crying, I'm talking blood-curdling screams. Guess our little man is teething again....

More later!!

One Big Happy Family

I'm down in North Carolina, visiting my folks. My brother is in town for the week, so seeing him has been fun. I have so much to write about, but would rather visit with my parents right now... but I leave you with this picture....

6 month checkup

Turns out Shepherd is average for everything his age. 50% in height, 50% in weight, and 50% in length. What he's not average in? His level of activity. The pediatrician couldn't believe how active he was. She couldn't believe that he was pulling up from sitting to standing (he did this at the doctors office by pulling on the stethescope around her neck. She couldn't believe he was seconds away from crawling, and already creeping (he did this too). She commented that he was such an active little boy, that he is burning off every calorie he's taking in. How do we know this? Despite eating 3 meals a day, breastfeeding (ie. draining both breasts in one sitting) 5-6 times a day, he hasn't gained weight in 3 weeks. Which is fine, there was no need for alarm, she just said it sounds like he's burning a heckuva lot of calories. She asked if we were going to feed him meat, and we said yes... and she suggested we start him on a little bit of meat, for the added fat and calories, and hopefully bring his weight up just a nudge.

On top off the weight issue, he's teething again. Meaning runny nose, and crankiness. So add that to the four shots he got, and he's pretty vocal today. Poor guy is running a mild fever, but it's nothing that some Tylenol and some cuddling time won't cure.

Well, he's waking up from his little nap... I'd better go get him and have some cuddle time...

On Why I've Named my Razor "Delilah"

Today started out like every other day. In fact, things seemed to be going quite well. Shepherd was pretty chipper, I actually got a shower, and shaved my legs (which, looking back, probably was what set this whole sequence of events in motion, because, like Samson, my powers to get through the day must lie within my hair, the only difference here is we're talking leg-hair vs. Fabio locks... anyways...).

Shepherd and I got ready to run a few errands, and then go meet Beth and Mia for lunch. I had just crossed the county line, and BLAM!!!! flat tire. I pulled over, got out, walked around the car, and admired the flatty flatness that was my tire. I sat there, debating on whether or not to change it myself. I hate, hate, HATE calling Triple A because I am perfectly capable of changing my own flat tire. The only time I've ever called them was when I got a flat while 8 months pregnant with Shepherd. But this time, I looked at the tire, looked at Shepherd smiling at me from the backseat, and looked at the hill my car was sitting on. I remembered something about not changing a flat on an incline, so, decided it would be best to call Triple-A. I called, and the guy I got must have been new or something, because he went through the questions like a TEXTBOOK. I've used my husband's AAA card before, and never had trouble, but this guy was giving me a fit. Remembering that Forrest is on his mothers AAA account, I sucked it up and lied. I said I was his mother. I'm very convincing like that. And he bought it. Also? I have the worst time remebering her address in NC, and when asked for the address, I automatically recalled it, perfectly. This was very convinient. I gave them some sob story about how I had an infant in the car (knowing that AAA normally takes five-hundred hours to come help you, I thought it would help) (it did) and they were out there in 20 minutes flat (har.... har....... HAR). They changed the tire and sent me on my way.

I arrived to see beautiful Beth and Mia waiting on me, and we went in for lunch. We enjoyed some good food, some cuteness from the kiddos, and then Shepherd got restless. So, it looked as though it was time to go. I headed out to the car, said goodbye to Beth and Mia, and as I loaded Shepherd up, this lady approached me. She said her car had broken down, and rolled down the hill into my car. I looked at the bumper, looked at her, looked back at the bumper, and sighed. Last year, sometime, Forrest had backed into a fire hydrant, leaving a corner of the bumper scratched, and chipped the paint off. As tempting as it was to blame this woman for the damage my own husband did, beyond that, there wasn't much wrong with the bumper. So, I told her it was fine, and not to worry about it. She seemed relieved, and I got in my car to head to the tire place.

I arrived to get my tires, and they inform me there was a 2 hour wait. Fine, whatever, I told myself, I'll just browse the stores around the tire place, maybe get some shopping done. I checked back in an hour later, just to make sure things were okay, and they said they were just pulling my car into the shop, and that it'd be 30 minutes. Thirty minutes later, I check back in, and the guy looks at me and asks who the last person to work on my tires was. You guys, I reply. I was just in here 2 weeks ago getting new tires put on, and you rotated all of the tires. Oh, he says, we can't get the lug nut off. Great... So, his manager says, Let me have a shot at it. And 5 minutes later, they both walk out, sheepishly looking at me. The manager holds out his hand, and there, in his palm is the lug nut. No problem, you're thinking... but if you saw what I saw, you'd realize there was a problem. They broke the stud off, and it was in the lug nut. Meaning? A trip to ANOTHER car shop to get the lug nut stud replace. And a trip BACK to the tire shop, so they can pay me for the repair. Like I have all this time to be running around town, getting stuff fixed.

The worst part isn't that we had to buy new tires, because I'm happy that my car is safe now, with 4 new shoes. It's not that the guy broke the lug nut stud, although that's pretty crappy. The problem is that we just shelled out a TON of money to get the windows fixed in one of the cars (they wouldn't roll down... or up on one of them, so it was stuck down, and had to be fixed). I'm SO sick of car repairs.

So, after Forrest got home, I sat down and almost lost it from the stress of the day. I refused to fix dinner, so we ate at Panera. We came home to a messy house (as I'd originally planned on cleaning, I left the house a wreck), and we both proceeded to clean like crazy people (only after watching Project Runway, which, VINCENT!??! Winning?!?!! Holy CRAP I don't understand these judges... the man is a LOON!) (As if I wasn't mad enough for Allison being kicked off in lieu of Vincent last week, he goes and wins this week's challenge) (***Huge Eyeroll***) (Okay, enough with the parenthesis).

So yeah... all that to say, my bad day started with me shaving my legs. I'm throwing out my razor....

6 months

Shepherd,

Yesterday you turned 6 months old. I wanted to write something then, but was afraid that my words could not adequately portray my heart. I have thought all day long, and still, words fail me. You have grown so much and so fast this past month that I simply cannot wrap my mind around these changes fast enough. For starters, you're still teething.


Although you have two beautiful pearly whites, you still have not cut another tooth. This would be okay if the hidden teeth weren't bothering you so bad. Everything that can go in your mouth goes in your mouth. On some days, drool flows as the Nile, and there's the tell-tell drool rash on the tip of your chin which, despite your mothers every attempt to keep it dry, persists. But that doesn't seem to bother you as much as your ears, which you tug on pretty hard some days.


Other days, you're pretty serious. You talk with a serious look on your face, as though telling me some long ago secret that we adults have forgotten. You observe everything around you with seriousness, and take on your newest challenge of crawling with such passion, I feel as though you could will yourself across the room. You touch everything, learning the textures as though reading a book in Braille. You take it all in. And those days just blow me away.


Other days, you want to cuddle. This is a new thing, because up until now, you've refused to sit still long enough to be held for any amount of time. The best is when we take naps together. We both fall asleep, and I wake up to little hands pummelling my breast, as if someone has turned the tap off. As my eyes flutter open, you break into a broad grin, showing off those beautiful teeth, and sometimes, if I'm lucky, you giggle. You pound away again, as if letting me know that you are being denied. I let you nurse a little longer, as you suckle, then break away to smile at me. This, is my favorite part of nursing now.. the moments you break away to look up at me and coo.


Another thing I'm learning is that you're very quick. I turn my back on you for one second, and you've rolled clear across the room. Not only are you quick, but you're quite sneaky. Just when I think I've got my bases covered and nothing is in your reach that ought not to be, I find you holding some forbidden fruit, joyfully beaming at your discovery. Your favorite finds are the remote, my cell phone, daddy's glasses, and books. Books which your father has protected for years, and fussed at mommy for bending and breaking the spine. And within seconds, all of those years are laid to waste as you suck on the corners of the pages, bending, warping, and ruining perfectly good books. But truth be told? It makes mommy a little bit happy to see you ruin those books, because mommy hates perfect books. I prefer my books worn in, as proof that I have read them. Proof that they don't just sit on my shelf gathering dust. But lets not tell daddy, okay??


But most other days are wonderful days, full of laughter and fun. We wake up early, play with your toys, and then eat some breakfast. Then we go back to playing again until it's naptime. You sit up almost all the time now, unless you're trying to crawl. You've even learned to catch yourself when you start to fall from sitting. You've also been trying something new recently. You're trying to go from sitting to crawling, which, blows my mind to pieces. Yesterday, you actually got pretty close to crawling position from sitting, and at the last minute, with one great heave, you launched yourself forward, face-planting into the carpet. But that does not stop you.


You are stubborn, as your mother, yet determined as your father. You simply don't give up. I love this about you. You work so hard at what you do, and you give 200% at everything. I only hope this trait will last a lifetime, allowing you to pursue everything your heart desires with great passion.


Shepherd, you are so close to taking off. Not just physically, with crawling, though it's certain you could start that any day now. But emotionally and mentally as well. Each day, you put more pieces to the puzzle of life together, and I am so blessed to be your audience, daily cheering you on, and helping you when you allow me to help. I am your biggest fan, and hope that no matter the future circumstances, I will always be your loudest supporter (alongside Daddy, of course). I pray that each day that I'm given with you, I fully appreciate all that I have, and that I savor each and every moment with you, because, pardon my french, "Damn, do they fly by."

Love,
Mommy

Like a Crazy Lady

Okay, so it's what, 12:02 am? I should be sleeping right? Right???

Wrong.

I should be cleaning the house up! Let's see... baby's asleep? check! Husband's asleep? check! House is quiet? check! Sudden burst of energy? check! Going to pay dearly for the loss of sleep tomorrow? check! check! CHECK!!!!

Okay, so where was I? Oh! The mad cleaning going on just before I sat down to write this. Okay, so I'll admit, my housekeeping skills have kind of taken back burner to, oh, say, taking care of a child, running errands, cooking dinner, enjoying a movie with a friend, and of course, blogging. So, it's come to my attention (or rather, the attention of the little vermin that clean up after me.... KIDDING!) that the house was in a sort of disrepair.

I could blame it on the company that we had last weekend, but it was kinda like that when they came (I know, I know, my mom is having a coronary right now knowing that I didn't clean for guests. Hi Mom!!! Just kidding!!). The dishes were piling up, so I.... oh? I didn't do those? Forrest did? hmmm... so I didn't do the kitchen, but the living room! Ahhh... with the piles of books stacked high, threatening to tumble off the coffee table and bury my soon-to-be-crawling son alive. The empty glasses, resting anywhere that had an open spot (even behind the sofa, BEHIND THE SOFA!)... The inch-thick layer of dust coating everything in sight, and let's not forget, those precious plastic toys that are strewn about as if a plastic tornado swept through our home, leaving perilous little bits of blocks, teething rings, giggly butterfly toys, and plenty of other deadly objects for maiming the feet of those who venture out for middle of the night jaunts into the kitchen for hidden donuts (Hi Honey!! I swear, there were no donuts, I made this up!) or something healthy, like fruit! or water! or cookies!! (Cookies count, right?) The laundry was souring in the washer, beckoning me to walk around my apartment, sniffing everything, trying to determine the source of the stench, only to open the laundry closet, and with one fell swoop, find myself on my back, seeing stars as I try to purge the offending odor from my nostrils.

So... needless to say, I've kinda been busy. Straightening up, picking up toys, dusting, and doing laundry (which, hooray! one load done, one more to go!). And I must say, as I look around, I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished. Sure, I've sacrificed precious sleep, but I value sanity above that any day, and from the looks of how things were, I was going nuts pretty fast. Also, it was kind of nice to have that time alone... even though I was cleaning. Shepherd was asleep, so I didn't have to worry about entertaining him. Forrest was asleep, so I wasn't tempted to sit there and spend time with him (because, let's face it, I'd rather stare at my gorgeous husband, and spend time with him, than clean, ANY day... hands down). So, I was able to focus at the task at hand, and get a lot done. And I feel pretty good about that.

Of course, I probably could have gone straight to bed, instead of blogging about this, but I find that I tend to be funnier late at night, and I tend to write things better when the ideas are fresh in my mind. So, how about you? What's the crazy thing you've done lately that defies all common sense???

Shepherd Playing

Today, I was watching Shepherd play in his excersaucer, and he started going to town on the spinning toy. It was so funny, I had to grab my camera really quick and get a video of it. It was so cute, he even looked at the camera, and appears to wave bye at the end (but he's not, it's just a random hand thingy, but we can pretend, can't we??)

Tender Moments

This past weekend, and the early part of this week, Shepherd has been staying in our room with us because we have guests in the house. The guest bed is in Shepherd's room, so we kick the baby out and move him in with us. The disadvantage to this is that I hear every little peep that Shepherd makes, and sometimes, we wake him up with a trip to the bathroom or something. But besides that, there is one thing I love about having Shepherd stay in our room. I love pulling him into bed with us to snuggle early in the morning.

This morning, I was sitting there cuddling with him, and holding his hand (he tends to be grabby and grabs my hair and yanks, so I was gently keeping his hands occupied as to not lose more hair). I sat there, holding his hand, and rubbing it, and realized how incredible little, delicate, and soft it was. I sat there, holding it, and thinking about how fast he has grown. He's almost 6 months old, and has grown so much already. His hands are huge now, and we wonder if he has a promising career as a basketball player. Or maybe a farmer. Either way, his hands are big... yet they are so small! As I caressed his hands, I felt as though I was in some sort of dream... that nothing in this world could be this precious, that nothing could be this sweet... and nothing could feel as good as the tiny fingers wrapping their cool flesh around the edges of my hand. And though it felt like a dream, I knew it to be reality, and at once, I was happy... not just silly happy, but truly happy... the deep in my heart kind of happy, because this life that I've been given, as Shepherd's mom, is so precious... and I'm reminded all over again how much I love it. I would trade NOTHING in this world for my time with my son... there is nothing that I would change.

Bruver's Gordon and Auntie Hui

We're busy having fun visiting with Forrest's brother and his fiance. Thought I'd post some pictures of the weekend so far...

All is good and right in the world

(a good sign that I simply do not have time to read the news, nor watch it anymore, and acording to Forrest, the world is going to hell in a handbasket)

But really... everything is A-Okay now...

Why?

I drove past a Harris Teeter being built near my house. Yes, they have finally heard my cry and are building a Harris Teeter JUST. FOR. ME.!!!! I know I know, this is super silly, and those of you who don't care about that sort of thing, probably think of me as simple-minded or weird at best. But you know what? Harris Teeter is a part of "Home" for me. It symbolizes everything good about the South, and everything I miss. And a part of "Home" has come to me, and that warms me to the heart. It makes living here in this crazy jumble of people doable. It makes those 30-45 minutes I'm shopping seem like eternity, and when I walk through those automatic doors into the Mecca of the shopping world, I am suddenly transported to my southern roots, and for amoment, I can pretend I"m back there, back where they serve Sweet Tea. Back where Bojangles rules the breakfast world (and dinner too). Back where the air is clear and the grass is greener...

All is well, my friends... *sigh* All is well...

Stream of Consciousness

Perfecting his Model Pose
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Shepherd has been such a charmer these past few days. He's starting to laugh really hard outloud, without us tickling him. Mostly, he laughs when we make funny faces at him. He'll also give us charming looks, especially after filling a diaper or pulling my hair. See the picture? That is NOT posed. I was taking pictures of him, and I swear, he struck the pose himself... The moment I saw the photo, I knew I was in trouble. How am I ever going to say no to this kid???

In other news, he's growing like a WEED. He's not chunking up (still at the 50th percentile in weight, closer to the 60th), but he's stretching out. The child is almost 27 and a half inches long. And most of that is leg. I have long legs, and all of my life, have been mostly leg. I sit down beside Forrest (who technically is an inch shorter than me, but hush... don't tell him I told you), and I'm shorter than him. Standing up? Is another story.

I had guys ask me out in high school simply because of the picture of me in my tennis skirt in the yearbook (not kidding.... that skirt? I bought the longest one, and STILL my legs showed in all their glory). Granted, my legs may be ghost white, but they still have the ability to shock and awe. You'd think after the years of abuse that my legs have seen, due to my clumsy nature, that they'd be pretty beat up. You'd especially think that they'd lost some of their charm during pregnancy. I was fortunate enough not to get varicose veins, or spider veins. I will say that the one thing I still am proud of about my body (listen!!! I'm being positive!!! about my body!!! wow!!!), is my legs. Granted, when I shave them, they look better, but who has time to shave when you have an infant.

Which beckons the question... how do you other mothers do it? Do you keep your legs nicely shaved all the time? or do you allow that to fall to the wayside, only to shave when you have to wear shorts or a skirt? Inquiring minds want to know...

Well, it's naptime in the house, so I'd better go catch a few ZZ's while they can be had...

Post Secret

I checked this book out today at the library to show Forrest. (They also have a website) We were thumbing through it, and talking about secrets, and we realized we'd shared a lot of secrets with one another, so much so that we had a hard time thinking of a unique secret that we hadn't told one another. After 30 minutes of thinking and piddling around the house, I rememebered something, and laughed out loud as I ran from the bedroom to the kitchen, where Forrest was doing dishes, to tell him.

My secret?

When I was young (12-14??), my brother and I placed a book of erotic sexual positions in the childrens book section of Waldenboks. I laugh now about it, but really, how horrible was I?!?! I can't imagine the look on a mothers face as her 7 year old read aloud, "Ka-ma-Su-Tra".

What's your secret?

Saturday Morning Brew

Well, last night was a wash. Shepherd went down easily at 7:30, and Forrest and I retired to the living room to work a puzzle that I'd bought. It's been so long since either of us worked a puzzle, but it was fun. Then we headed to bet fairly early to hopefully get a full nights sleep. Not so. Shepherd was up at odd hours. He woke up at 12, then again at 1. After pulling him into bed with us, I woke up at 3, and decided to move him to his room (since he was DEAD asleep and I wanted to sleep without worrying about the baby being in the bed). He slept there until 4 am, and then woke up again. I fed him, and put him back to sleep, and he slept until 6 am. At 6, I rolled over and told Forrest he was in charge. After a frustrating hour of trying to calm Shepherd down, I called Forrest into the room, and told him I'd nurse Shepherd again. And so, I was awake (barely) and Shepherd was bright eyed and bushy tailed by 7 am. I made a deal with Forrest that I'd let him sleep for another hour and a half, if when the time was up, I got to go back to bed for however long I want. He bought it. So I changed Shepherd's diaper, and made a quick trip to Starbucks (yes, I have a coffee maker, and yes, I could have made it myself... but no, it wouldn't be as good, and Dadgummit, I've practically been up since 3 am, I DESERVE a good mocha). (Actually, I should have gotten a Latte, as I forgot that I'm about mocha'd out, oh well). So now we're back, and Shepherd's playing quietly with the big yellow bucket that his blocks go in. He'd rather bang on that than play with his blocks. It's so cute. Well, I'm going to go play with little man and wait for my 8:30 nap. :) Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend

Sweet Mercy!!!

It is HOT! I am about ready for the fall... It's been well discussed around our house that I am NOT a summer person. Sure, I like the hot weather for about a week, maybe two, but that's it, tops! I love fall, when the sky turns bright blue, and there's a chill in the air and a crispness in the breeze. I love winter, with it's snow and gray skies. Heck, I'll even say I like spring because the flowers, but it's right up there w/ Summer, why?? Because it means summer is coming right around the corner. A simple solution to this would be to live somewhere milder... but anywhere in the South is ablaze with this heat right now, the only place is the tiny po-dunk college town where Forrest grew up and where I went to college. There, the weather is perfect year round and of course, you have the mountains.

But anyways, why do I write about this? Because... our A/C is out AGAIN. I woke up at 9:30 from a quick cat-nap (Shepherd was napping after his pre-dawn awakening) and it was starting to get warm in the house. I ran out, checked the thermostat, and it's reading almost 80 already. Then, I looked outside to see if the fan for the unit is running (a key indication if our AC is working), and it's not. So...

Like hell, I'm staying here in a hot apartment all day w/ a cranky baby... so it's off to call the apartment folks, then to Panera where I can entertain Shepherd and play around on the free internet w/ my laptop... and then who knows what. I'll figure something out... but Pray... folks, Pray hard.... I cannot survive this heat without electricity

Shepherd at the Pool

This past Sunday we spent several hours just splashing in the pool. Shepherd splashed the entire time like this... it was so adorable!!

The sound of Glycerin

I'll bet you had no idea that Glycerin could make a sound. It can! Especially when deposited in the nether-regions of a super constipated infant. The symphony of grunts is reaching a comical level here at our house. I'm almost frightened by what the final product will be, as it sounds as though my son will grunt himself in half. But at least I know something is in the works. Thanks for all your well-wishes yesterday. The prune juice did surprisingly nothing, and this morning, Turd Watch 2006 reached a fever pitch, and I scooted Mr. Shepherd to the doctor. We have eliminated (hehe) several things from his diet which will hopefully help with this problem. In the meantime, I'm supposed to drink lots and lots and lost and lots of water. You see, I hate water. I know, I know, as a breastfeeding mother, I need lots of it, but I hate the stuff... so, the past few days, I'd kind of slacked off in my water intake... and with the thermometer reading 111 degrees today, that's not a good thing. So, I'm partly to blame for this.... and I feel terrible. At least he's not screaming in pain or anything, just really stopped up. Oh well... I'd better go check out his diaper, as I fear the grunting has stopped...

(Edited to add: Sorry, I realize how terribly boring and awful this post must be since it's about nothing but poop... I promise, next time I'll try to avoid the subject altogether.)

"A-HA!!!!!!!"

I don't know if it counts or not, but Shepherd said something yesterday that made sense. We were sitting there, and he said slowly, "Aaahhh-Haaaaa". I repeated it back to him, and he flashed a HUGE smile. Then later that day, I said A-HA to him, and he repeated it back to me. Now... I know that it's not technically a word, but that's pretty good right? Or am I just looking too hard??

Anyways... in other news, I'm looking to figure out a new domain name for my site, as Forrest is re-designing it for me, and learning Movable Type (so hopefully I can learn it). That way I can control a lot more about my site than I presently can. Any suggestions for new blog names? (twopinklines.com is already taken!!) I may revamp the whole name and try something different, but who knows.

Well, I'd better go, Shepherd is awake now... so much for a long nap!

Poop, Poop, and MORE Poop

Yes... I know there are those of you out there who just logged on, and read the title and thought, "How crude!". You know what? You're right? You know what else? I don't care what you think. You know why??? Because I'm THAT sleep deprived.

I got an e-mail this morning from a friend, encouraging me through the whole "I can't talk about anything but poop because of sleep deprivation" thing by pretty much saying, "Get over yourself, it lasts forever..." just kidding... she was very encouraging, and understood that I can't talk about much else because the lack o' sleep. She understood because she's there right now.

But back to the topic at hand. My son? Is constipated. Now, I know there are some out there laughing at me, because when my exclusively breastfed newborn went more than 12 hours without pooping, I thought he was constipated. Then when my 3 month old son skipped days between poops, I thought he was constipated. All the while, he was not (judging from the viscosity of the poop, it couldn't have been constipation) (and ew! viscosity!!). But now? Yes... he is TRULY constipated. Little turdling balls and all. I have never heard someone grunt so hard to poop... oh wait... okay, there was that one time in the women's bathroom at the mall where the lady next to me sounded as if she was in LABOR with her turd, but whatever... So finally, I broke down and called the doctor (this is after trying apple juice and baby prune juice). I found out my problem was I was giving him diluted baby prune juice, not the real stuff. So y'all? Wish me luck! My son just downed 2 ounces of pure, wonderful prune juice. Talk about immanent danger!

As an aside to the topic of poop, I decided to get out of the house this morning and go back to the new mothers support group I was going to before with Beth. I hadn't gone in a while because they didn't meet in June, and I just forgot about it when they started back up in July. At today's meeting was a pediatrician who spoke of normal child development (mostly about eating solids). And if you wanna know my opinion? She didn't know what the hell she was talking about. I asked if it was okay to give citrus to a child learning to eat solids (trick question where answer should be NO! emphatically NO!). And you know what she said? SUUUUREEEEEE... some babies won't like the taste, but go for it. I was horrified at the horrible information she was dishing out. One mother confessed to putting butter in her babies food ("To add fats to help brain development" her words, not mine) and this doctor went on about how you can add Olive Oil and other oils too... I chirped up about foods that naturally have fats in them, like Avocados, and you can use those.

I think the worst part of the meeting was when this other mother confessed to worrying about her daughters food intake. She measures everything out, because "I want to make sure she burns off all the calories she's taking in!". I just stared... because, Seriously?!?! You worry about that!!?!?! I feed Shepherd until he's full (and trust me, he lets me know by pursing his lips and turning his head. If I try to force it, he cries.... so yeah, I know he's full).

On a more positive note, I saw a few mothers that had been there when I was going and got to talk to them. I felt bad for one mother who's stupid pediatrician was worried about her sons weight gain, and had her supplement (instead of starting solids, which at that point he was 4 months) and her milk supply dried up, and now she has to bottle feed. She was devastated... and I felt so bad for her. But her son was adorable, and Shepherd had so much fun playing with the little boys there.

Anyways... So it was very nice to get out of the house. So now we're back home, and the 2006 Poop Watch has officially begun. Until then, I leave you with some pictures we took on Sunday at the pool. Feel free to ignore the flab and rolls that I have, and lets pretend I'm not in these pictures...






Yes.... that's Shepherd on all fours