A Wonderful Weekend!

Wow, what a wonderful weekend. Friday night, we ordered a pizza and watched Everything is Illuminated. If you haven't seen that movie yet, rent it... it's an amazingly beautiful film. Saturday, we got up and headed to the DMV to cast our absentee votes (Forrest commutes, and I'll be in NC). Then, we headed to DC to meet Chris, Beth, and Mia for lunch at a wonderful tapas restaurant. Forrest and I had never had tapas, so after convincing us to order the escargot...ha, just kidding... Beth and Chris were really helpful and made our first tapas experience very enjoyable. I'm not sure if they table next to ours agreed, as Shepherd proceeded to scream throughout the meal (screams of joy and elation). Afterwards, we walked around some, around the white house, and just enjoyed the beautiful fall day. The wind was kicking up leaves, so much so that Shepherd almost choked on a leaf that had blown into his mouth. But it was a lot of fun hanging out with friends, and just being outside. We came home, took a quick nap, and then headed to church. On Sunday, I spent the entire day cleaning like a mad woman. I vaccumed under the bed (which, EW!, who knew it could get so dusty under there?), washed the baseboards, did the laundry, organized the closets in both Shepherd's and our rooms, and much, much more. Forrest kept an eye on Shepherd all day, so it was kind of nice to not have to worry about the little man. And then last night, Forrest worked more on a new site for me (yay!). It's not quite working yet, so you'll have to be patient. We're trying to figure out Movable Type (well, Forrest has most of it figured out, I'm just on the backend trying to learn). So soon enough, I'll have a new page with a spankin' new design, thanks to Forrest.

Anyways... now that I've bored you with the details of our weekend, I guess I could post at least one cute picture of our little man, eh? Maybe sort of redeem the boringness of this post?? Okay...

Taken almost 2 months ago, so I'll have to get a new one tonight at the costume party we're going to. But isn't he cute!?!?

A Wonderful Weekend!

Wow, what a wonderful weekend. Friday night, we ordered a pizza and watched Everything is Illuminated. If you haven't seen that movie yet, rent it... it's an amazingly beautiful film. Saturday, we got up and headed to the DMV to cast our absentee votes (Forrest commutes, and I'll be in NC). Then, we headed to DC to meet Chris, Beth, and Mia for lunch at a wonderful tapas restaurant. Forrest and I had never had tapas, so after convincing us to order the escargot...ha, just kidding... Beth and Chris were really helpful and made our first tapas experience very enjoyable. I'm not sure if they table next to ours agreed, as Shepherd proceeded to scream throughout the meal (screams of joy and elation). Afterwards, we walked around some, around the white house, and just enjoyed the beautiful fall day. The wind was kicking up leaves, so much so that Shepherd almost choked on a leaf that had blown into his mouth. But it was a lot of fun hanging out with friends, and just being outside. We came home, took a quick nap, and then headed to church. On Sunday, I spent the entire day cleaning like a mad woman. I vaccumed under the bed (which, EW!, who knew it could get so dusty under there?), washed the baseboards, did the laundry, organized the closets in both Shepherd's and our rooms, and much, much more. Forrest kept an eye on Shepherd all day, so it was kind of nice to not have to worry about the little man. And then last night, Forrest worked more on a new site for me (yay!). It's not quite working yet, so you'll have to be patient. We're trying to figure out Movable Type (well, Forrest has most of it figured out, I'm just on the backend trying to learn). So soon enough, I'll have a new page with a spankin' new design, thanks to Forrest.

Anyways... now that I've bored you with the details of our weekend, I guess I could post at least one cute picture of our little man, eh? Maybe sort of redeem the boringness of this post?? Okay...

Taken almost 2 months ago, so I'll have to get a new one tonight at the costume party we're going to. But isn't he cute!?!?

Oh, what joy!!!

Well, I would have thought today would be a bad day, giving the morning. But I must have redeemed myself, because Shepherd and I had the most fun day ever! We played all day, and tried to go to the part twice, but he fell asleep both times, so I just went home and sat in the parking lot, waiting on him to finish his nap, and quietly enjoyed some good ol' NPR.

We played hard... so he should sleep well tonight. We pulled all the pans out of the cabinet, and banged 'em around. Then some tupperwear. Then, I found an old Pampers box, so I put him in it and slid him down the hallway. He loved that. And when he was tired, he was cuddly. When his teeth hurt, he would sit in my lap and throw his head back, crying, to let me know that "this hurts mom!!" When I read him a book, he sat quietly in my lap, and didn't grab for the book once. It was as though he really wanted me to read it. We worked on his signs, and he's almost got the sign for food/eat down. He even quasi-clapped his hands! I noticed he had one hand in a fist, and the other was trying to make contact and successfully doing so.

All in all, it was a great day. A wonderful day, capped off with me rocking him to sleep tonight. My precious little angel, sleeping sweetly in my arms.

Oh, what joy!!

I confess...

This morning was a terrible, no good, very bad morning. Shepherd, in all his teething glory, awoke at the ungodly hour of 4:30 am. He refused to be consoled back to bed, and though he was tired, insisted on playing with his toys. I sat there, annoyed, and watched him play as Forrest got ready for work. Shepherd would get excited about a toy and start squeeling, and screaming, something he's started doing in the last two days (mind you, he screamed and squeeled before, but only when something was wrong). I lost it. I yelled NO! at him, and he just looked at me, and then turned around and screamed at his toy some more. Forrest walked in, and asked me what that all was about, and I just sat there... fuming. You see, it wasn't that Shepherd was being obnoxious. What it really was, was that lately, Shepherd has shown more joy in seeing Forrest. This morning was no exception. If I sat and played with him, he'd just ignore me. If Daddy did, whoa! watch out, because he was all grins and giggles. I guess I got jealous, and that started seething underneath. And when Shepherd started screaming, I just lost it.

I felt so bad afterwards. Even though it hadn't seemed to have registered with Shepherd, I felt horrible. Later, after Forrest had left for work, I was sitting there, and Shepherd was still fussy. The squeels of joy were turning into screams of terror at the pain of his teeth. I took him back to his room, and rocked him. As he snuggled into my chest, arms curled up underneath him, legs wrapped around my waist, I realized that all he wanted was to be held. Putting him back in his crib would only make him cry again. And when I realized this, I began to cry. I felt so awful that I had yelled at him. I just sat there, rocking him, and wanted to hold him forever, because in that moment, I felt important. I wasn't just the woman who takes care of his dirty diapers, and feeds him, I was mommy, and that was important. I held him so long, that finally, I got up, and went and laid down on the guest bed in Shepherd's room with Shepherd, and we snuggled in, him silently sleeping. I sat there stroking his beautiful hair, touching his soft cheeks, and tried to understand how just moments before, I wanted nothing to do with him. I drifted off to sleep, and we slept for 2 hours there, snuggled up together. And in the end, I felt needed and important. I was mommy... and that's all I needed.

Fall

My favorite picture of all
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

This weekend, we headed to Bluemont, VA to a pumpkin patch and farm. We had the best time, and the weather was absolutely wonderful. We got to see all sorts of animals, play with pumpkins, and watch a pumpkin canon shoot pumpkins (which was great, except the noise scared Shepherd). We got to eat some good food, enjoyed some fresh air, and all in all, just had a great time together. It's amazing how much has changed in our lives since Shepherd was born. More and more, it feels like we are a "family", apart from our own families. What a great feeling to have these two WONDERFUL men in my life... I love you Forrest and Shepherd. :) Thanks for making my weekend spectacular.

(more pictures of our trip at flicker)

8 months

Shepherd,

I can't believe it's been 8 months already. It honestly seems that just yesterday you turned 7 months. The changes you've been through in the last month have been amazing. I've watched you learn new things at an alarming rate, and seen you grow more and more independent.

This month you started crawling. You started out pulling your little body along on your belly like a soldier and graduated to the full out crawl/run that moves you from point A to point B in lightning speed. You're a quick little bugger, too. So quick that I've had my hands full trying to keep unsafe things out of your little hands. You've also gotten very strong, and each diaper change has become a wrestling match. One night, I gave up and let you crawl around naked. You would have thought I'd given you the keys to heaven. You giggled and crawled from room to room, thoroughly enjoying your freedom.


Then, as if crawling wasn't enough, you started pulling up to standing. You'd previously been able to pull up to kneeling position, but you now pull up to standing, and even cruise a little. Last week, while your dad was playing with you, you were holding on to the couch, and you let go, standing independently for several seconds. You've done this several times since then, and, while I'm excited to see you grow up, it's also terrifying at the same time. I want nothing more than to protect you from every fall. I want to be there and catch you every time, but I'm quickly realizing that I cannot. You have to fall to learn how to get back up. And sometimes that means you get bumps and bruises. Each time you get a little bump, I scoop you up in my arms, and hold you, waiting for the tears to subside, quietly contemplating the future. How many times will you get hurt? And not just physical pain. Will I be able to protect you from the pain in life? And I know I cannot. And that is so hard to accept as a mother. To step back, and let you fall, so you'll learn to get back up.

You've also been quite a handful lately. Getting in to everything. Sometimes I feel as though you're testing me, as you look back over your shoulder and grin while pulling every toy out of your toy box. At dinner, you've master blowing raspberries, which would be adorable if your mouth wasn't full of food. I know you're too young to really know what you're doing, and that you're only learning how it feels to blow raspberries, and learning about the inside of the box, and what it's like empty. So, I'm learning patience as you explore the world around you, with all it's shapes, noises, and spaces.



And last but not least, you are daily teaching me to slow down and enjoy life. You're teaching me the joy of laughter and silliness. You're teaching me patience, responsibility, but above all else, you're teaching me about love, and it's eternal depth. I knew what love what long before you were born, but never have I felt it as powerful as I feel it when I look at you. You are my son, and you'll always be loved, no matter what you do, no matter what happens, I will always love you.



Happy 8 months booger bear,

Love,
Mommy

The Cheese Stands Alone

If by "cheese", you mean Shepherd.

And by "Stands Alone" you mean letting go of the couch, and standing upright, alone, unsupported, for 3 seconds.

And, of course, it could be a fluke.

Unless.... he did it a minute later, for another 3 seconds.

If you need me, I'll be sitting in the corner, gently rocking back and forth, as I was totally unprepared for the transpiring of these events. Have I mentioned how fast he's growing up!?!?

On Being an Uncle

And now, a treat for you all. I asked my brother to guest blog today's post, and boy did he pull through. Y'all give Justin a big ol' bloggers welcome!! (and check out his blog sometime)

I remember the night clearly. We had driven up from North Carolina, braved the ungodly NoVa traffic, and found our way into the hospital waiting room. After visiting for a few hours in Corinne's room, it was finally "time." And we all know when a pregnant woman is in labor in the hospital, "time" means there's about to be some pushing, some yelling, and you don't want to be here so go on and get out. A few hours and a hospital cafeteria dinner later, we figured that baby had to have come out by now, so we headed (pun intended) back upstairs.

I remember seeing Forrest come out to greet us, tears of joy down his cheek and the bright glow of pride on his face, telling us "he's so beautiful." And boy was he right. Shepherd had arrived, and we all gathered 'round the little one, marvelling that another cast member in the Human Story had heard the call of the Creator, stepped out from behind the curtain, and here he was. And here we were, anxious to see what role Shepherd would play. But for now, here he was, a tiny, fragile newborn who was adjusting to the strange and unfamiliar place we call Earth. His role for the time was to bring joy into the hearts of his mommy and daddy and the rest of the supporting cast.

Now that eight months have passed, it is obvious he has not only suceeded at his role, he's adapted it. Any new actor is bound to be the center of attention, but Shepherd doesn't just soak it all up, he rewards his audience with a big smile and maybe even a giggle (which by the way, I have determined are the key to world peace). And while some newbies don't quite meet our expectations, Shepherd has surpassed expectations as he's already scooting around on all fours and pulling up to stand at every chance he gets. On a more vain note, he's the cutest baby on the block, charming everyone he sees.

When Shepherd was first born, I had no idea what being an uncle would be like. In many ways, I still don't. I imagine it will change from year to year, just like Shepherd. But the past eight months have given me a glimpse of things to come, and I can't wait.

I have also had the blessing of seeing Corinne and Forrest blossom into their roles as parents, and I stand in awe at their performances. Their love for Shepherd is so abundantly clear and beautiful, and his love for them shows in his smile when Forrest walks into the room, or when he snuggles with his mommy.

I am so excited to see how Shepherd grows and how our relationship grows with him. And I am still amazed at the miracle that is life. To see such a beautiful child reminds us of creation, and it reminds us of our own infancy, or the loss of it.

To quote G.K. Chesterton (forgive the long quote, but it's too good to edit it), "Now, to put the matter in a popular phrase, it might be true that the sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to a lifelessness, but to a rush of life. The thing I mean can be seen, for instance, in children, when they find some game or joke that they specially enjoy. A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore. Heaven may encore the bird who laid an egg. If the human being conceives and brings forth a human child instead of bringing forth a fish, or a bat, or a griffin, the reason may not be that we are fixed in an animal fate without life or purpose. It may be that our little tragedy has touched the gods, that they admire it from their starry galleries, and that at the end of every human drama man is called again and again before the curtain."

As I recall the miracle that is Shepherds life, I wonder if Shepherd heard the voice of God on the 20th night of February, 2006, whispering "do it again." Shepherd has stepped out before the curtain, and I can't wait to witness his performance.

Deflated

I consider myself a pretty intelligent person. At least intelligent enough to have common sense. But somehow, last night, the idiocity (is that even a word!? Forgive me if not) of my brain took over, and I was held hostage by the TV until close to 12 am. What was so fascinating? Well, there was Lost. Which, totally has me sucked in. To the point where I regularly dream that I'm one of the survivors. The of course, followed by Project Runway. I mean, who CAN resist the wonderful Tim Gunn?? ha. Then, when I should have headed to bed, I switched to Comedy Central and watched the tail end of the Daily Show, and most of the Colbert Report. So by the time I went to sleep, it was after midnight. Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID Corinne.

You see, I don't function very well without sleep. At least one decent stretch of sleep, that is. And last night, I got nothing of the sorts. Yes, I did sleep. But very poorly. I got 2.5 hours before Shepherd woke up needing to eat. Then, he woke up again at 5 am because his diaper had leaked. Nothing irritates me more than when a wet diaper wakes my son up. Seriously. I know that if he'd not leaked, he would have slept later, allowing me at the very least, another hour of sweet, blessed sleep. But again, this is my row to hoe. I know it's my fault.

My only hope now is that Shepherd will take a monster morning nap here in another hour, and I'll be afforded at least an hour and half of sleep. We'll see if that happens... until then, I'll watch Shepherd crawl around, sitting up on his own, and pulling to standing. I swear he's 8 seconds away from cruising, since he took several steps along the side of the couch yesterday. He's growing up so fast.... need evidence (or a good dose of cuteness with your morning latte)? You asked for it!!!

A Conversation in two parts

Me: (on the phone) Hello? Apartment people? I've got a cat I need you to pick up.
Them: A cat?
Me: Yes, a cat. A kitten, actually.
Them: You have a cat? You know that's against the rules.
Me: Yes, I know that. I caught this kitten outside. Actually, yesterday I found him under my hood.
Them: Your hood?
Me: Yes, my hood. The hood of my car. I found the cat inside.
Them: Inside?
Me: Yes, inside. I heard a meowing coming from my car, and I popped the hood and there was the kitty, stuck behind the transmission.
Them: Wow.
Me: Yes. Now, could you send someone to pick up this kitten?
Them: Is it the same kitten?
Me: Yes. the same exact kitten.
Them: Hold Please

Me: (to self) Maybe this is a bad idea, maybe I should just take the cute thing to the pound myself. I have no idea if these people will kill the cat or take it to the animal rescue.

Them: Hello, are you there?
Me: Yes
Them: Okay, is the kitten in a box?
Me: No. I'm holding it.
Them: You're holding it? (note: I'm growing tired of them repeating my answers back to me)
Me: Yes, I'm holding it. It actually is letting me hold it.
Them: Okay. I'll send someone right over.


------------15 minutes later--------------

Two men pull up in a truck. One's an old guy, and one's a young guy.

Old guy: (rolls down window) Why don't ya just take that there fella home with ya? Seems to have taken a likin' to ya.
Me: It's against the rules.
Old guy: Ahhh, damn the rules, who cares. Keep it!
Me: Um.. and my husbands allergic to cats.
Old guy: Oh...
Young guy: (walks around back of truck toward me) Here lil' guy. (takes kitten from me)
Old guy: That don't look like one of them damn cats we've been after. Sure you found it here?
Me: Uh, yeah. I actually found it yesterday in my car.
Old guy: In your car!?!?
Me: Yes... well, not in my car, but under the hood
Old guy: They do that sometimes
Me: (to self)No Duh...
Old guy: Yeah, we've been trying to catch them there cats for several months, but the damn lady on the second floor... which apartment do you live in?
Me: 13
Old guy: Well, number 10 keeps feeding the damn cats, and when I've set up some traps, she just trips the traps. One day she came out hollerin' at me about takin' the cats away. Crazy lady... (at this point he rambles on and on).............
Me: (against my better judgement to keep my mouth shut so I can go inside already) Isn't there something you can do to stop her?
Young guy: (gently holding kitten.. which, I'm glad because he seems to not want to snap it's neck) Yeah, we're thinkin' bout writin' her a letter or something.
Me: Yeah, like that will work.
Old guy: Well, either that or poison the cat food.
Me: (horrified) you wouldn't do that, would you?
Old guy: (laughing) I'm just jerkin' your chain... shucks, I wouldn't hurt a thang.
Me: okay...

Old guy: (to young guy) Guess we better get that thing to the pound, eh?
Young guy: (carries the kitten gently, setting it in a box) Sure.

Old guy: (to me) You take care of yourself lil' missy...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
And off they drove, in the complete opposite direction of the pound... towards the woods at the back of the property. I swear, I hope they didn't kill the thing... maybe they were just looking for more kitties?! Let's hope so. In the meantime, I'll be filing a complaint about our neighbors in number 10, since they seem to be the root of the cat problem, thus the root of the flea problem we had earlier this year, and thus the root of the rats that are eating the cats food. Heh... just kidding on the rats, but I'm terrified that they'll come out since the woman leaves WHOLE PIECES OF CHICKEN out for the dumb cats. Like, I mean, the woman goes to KFC, buys buffalo wings, and sets the open box out for the cats. What cat eats buffalo wings?!?! And what kind of nut-job goes around tripping traps for stray cats, who keep multiplying in number? A Crazy lady... that's who....

Edited to Add: I can't remember the last time I used the phrase, "No Duh". Am I terribly out of it or is that still used??? I think I was in middle school the last I used that... maybe early high school... wow

Help!!

I need the help of you, dear friends. Say you are fortunate enough to have friends (what? I used to not have friends!). Say that you are invited to a baby shower for one of those friends. Say that friend is just that... a friend, not a really close one, but a friend. You don't talk but maybe once a week, and that's because you see each other at bible study. Now... say you receive a second invitation, to ANOTHER baby shower. Do you:

a.) Go, even though you've already bought them a gift and attended one shower, but this time, top them all by purchasing the most expensive item on their registry.

b.) Chuck the invite in the trash, and forget it ever happened. Blame the US Postal Service when asked why you didn't attend.

c.) Politely decline, citing a recent bout of deadly meningitis that you seem to have contracted.

d.) {insert your answer}

Crawling 102

Shepherd crawls some more (video taken last week).

My Soapbox

Last night, as Forrest worked on his brother's wedding invitation, I flipped through the channels, bored, finding nothing to watch. I landed on our local PBS station, and immediately, was sucked into Frontline's story, Private Warriors. I sat and watched with amazement and horror, as Martin Smith uncovered layer after layer of information on the private contractors in Iraq.

If you have the time, I encourage you to watch the show (available online here).

I walked away feeling utterly disgusted with KBR and Halliburton, as well as walking away with a renewed passion against the war in Iraq. We have become an occupying force there, and it's still unclear why we are there. It seems as though we are there because there are millions to be made in contracting. Now, I know there are plenty of people out there who are going to disagree with me, and you have every right to disagree, but for one moment, pause and just think of what's going on here. We are stuck in a war, that was originally started because we thought there were WMD's. We invaded, only to find no WMD's, and so now, our reasons have changed. We're there because Saddam was a bad, bad man. I feel like it changes every day. We're in a war that we're told is supposed to make us safer, but I don't feel safer. I feel like everyone in the world hates our country. I'm annoyed at the assumption that if you don't support the war, you don't support our troops, and if you don't support the war, you're unpatriotic. I know this is a soapbox that I'm on, but I'm sick of it. I'm sick of sitting idly by and doing nothing... and yet, I don't know what to do. I fear for my nation. I fear that my son will grow up in a country that blindly follows what we're told. I fear that my son may one day be sent to fight in this war (if we're in it that long, and it seems we are). I fear that the beauty of America is quickly fading, and we are rapidly becoming an imperialistic nation, engaging in nation-building (which Bush said he would not do in his 2000 debates) that ostracizes us from the rest of the world.

I'll step down now from my soap box, but I challenge you to at least watch a few of the chapters on that story... if only because we owe it to the men who have died fighting in this war.

Sleep, Blessed Sleep

For fear of jinxing myself, I've not uttered a word on this blog about the latest development in our household. This past week, Shepherd began sleeping through the night. By sleeping through the night, I mean he sleeps solid from around 8 pm until 4 am, when he wakes up hungry and we feed him. After he eats at 4 am, he goes back to sleep for another 4 hours. Making my life wonderful again.

The change comes along with some other changes we've made and changes he's made. We've switched him over to formula (milk supply issues here) and he's started crawling. Both of those things were helping with his sleep, but adding some white noise to the room, and he was out for the night. Initially, we started with some white noise via the static on the radio. That was all I was going to do, until Saturday, at a consignment sale, I found a white noise machine for $4. The thing works like a charm. It plays different sounds, such as rain, a summer night, a brook, the ocean, and wind. Add to that another complimenting noise (if you want) such as a bird singing, a seagull, some thunder, and you've got the most relaxing sounds ever. Seriously, I want one for our room! :)

But with the sleep comes a very energetic little boy. An energetic little boy who is getting better at crawling every single day. Who loves him some cheerios and has learned how to (sorta) feed them to himself. He is growing up so incredibly fast, I don't know what to do! I feel as though any day now he could be getting on a school bus for kindergarten. Does it ever slow down? Or does it get progressivly faster as the years go on? I just want to enjoy my little boy while he's still little...

(AHHH!! He melts my heart!! He just looked up at me and said, "Da-Da?" (His word for both Forrest and I, we think...) I'm going to go now and hug my little snookum. :)