Remembering

I can't believe it was 5 years ago today that our world stood still. I remember that day like it was yesterday, the events and everything etched into my mind. I woke up early that day, to get ready for class. I sat at my computer, logged into Instant Messanger, and read my friend's away message, "Turn on the News. Any station." Odd, I thought... so I tried to log into cnn.com, but I couldn't. So I walked downstairs, turned on the TV just in time to watch the second plane crash into the World Trade Center. It was the first, and only time, that there was silence... long, awkward silence, on a television news station. I ran into my roommates bathroom, yelled for her to get out of the shower, she needed to see this. Wrapped in a towel, soaking wet, she sat next to me on the couch and we watched as the towers burned, and then as they fell. I sat there, as my roommate began sobbing, and I just sat there. I felt numb. I remember thinking that this was it... that someone was declaring war on us, and that we'd have to fight. I was angry, sad, stunned, shocked... so many emotions at once, I didn't know what to do.

So I did what I knew how to do. I went to class. I parked my car, and started walking to class. I looked up in the air, and remember thinking how odd it was that there were no contrails that day. Just clear blue sky... it was a beautiful day. I got to class, and everyone was just sitting there, quietly turning over what had happened in their minds. My friend Alison walked in, and somehow, she'd not heard that it wasn't just an accident. And then, someone told her a US Airways plane had crashed. She totally lost it crying. Her father was a pilot, and had a flight out that morning. I told her that I thought I rememeberd them saying it was a United flight, not US Airways. Still, she could not calm down, and was becoming hysterical. I took her outside, and gave her my cell phone to call her mom (Yes, just 5 years ago, most people didn't have cell phones). As I sat there on the grass, listening to her confirm that her father was okay, I thought of everyone who's family wasn't okay. I looked towards the contrail-less sky once again, and let a few tears slide.... the first tears I'd shed yet. Our teacher arrived, and dismissed the class. No one had classes the rest of the day.

I wandered around campus aimlessly for a while after that. Then finally got in my car, drove home, and sat in front of the TV. I watched as they played the footage over, and over, and over, and over again. Disgusted, I finally had to pull myself away from the TV, because I realized that watching it all over again wasn't helping me... I went upstairs, laid down, and cried myself to sleep. I don't remember waking up after that... although I know I did. I don't remember what I did that night... but I know I did something. But no matter what I did next, I know that forever, our world was changed.