Thursday, April 19, 2007

To know or not to know...

That is the question. Forrest and are are currently trying to decide whether or not to find out the sex of this baby. We found out with Shepherd, and it made it a lot easier to pick out a name. Not only that, but once we did have a name, I could refer to the "bump" I had by that name. However... there are so few surprises in life, so wanting to experience the joy of knowing when it happens is another consideration. Right now, I'm leaning more towards finding out, since I'm a person who likes to have answers. I couldn't stand for my doctors (or at least the Ultrasound tech) to know the sex, and for me not to know.

What are your experiences with this? Did you find out? Did you not? If you didn't... how did you bear those last 4 months not knowing??? And did you have a "hunch" that was right on?

Inquiring minds want to know

13 comments:

Kat said...

Well we found out but it is our first child. I don't know if I could not find out because like you, I like to have answers. What does Forrest want to do? Good luck with the decision, either way I will be waiting to find out what it is.

Alissa said...

We did not find out the first time, we did the second. I wish I hadn't--I much preferred the suspense of not knowing. I also enjoyed the reactions of people when I told then we didn't know. The reason we found out was because I thought if #2 was a girl we'd need to do some shopping, but he was a boy and it ended up not mattering.

Traci said...

We didn't find out with the first, and did this second time. This round is twins, so I wanted to be a bit more prepared. BUT, I MUCH preferred not knowing. Especially if you have any type of preference. We found out two more girls and have a glimmer of disapointment of no boys in there. and I know if we had waited until the girls were hear....there would be none of that. The suspence with the first was a lot of fun.

Liza said...

I didn't want to find out, but Jill did, and between her and my sister pressuring me, I gave in and found out. Like you, I could not have stood my partner knowing, but me not knowing.

I was sure that I was going to have a boy, somewhere around the 6 week mark. It felt like there was a teenage boy inside me making me eat everything in sight.

donna said...

We chose not to find out because we wanted at least some surprise in the process. I was really happy that we didn't find out. We had a handful of names in mind for both genders and were able to look at the baby before settling on a name that we felt fit her. It did start to drive me crazy while I was pregnant, but not until the last few weeks, when I was full-on nesting. That being said, I did have a feeling about the sex and I was wrong. :-)

Forrest said...

All told, I would like to wait to find out. It just seems like we never have to wait for things nowadays. We can have almost everything right when we want it but losing that sense of control adds to spice of life, I think.

And we found out with the first one and I'd love to experience what it's like not knowing in case we don't have any more after this.

Forrest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I found out as soon as I could, but like Traci, with twins it helps to be as prepared as possible.

That being said, I have absolutely no patience and I would find out again and again and again.

beebop said...

we found out the first time and i think the second go around we'll leave it a surprise...all though, there's no telling what id actually do if i were pregnant again!

Laura said...

We did not find out and were really glad that we didn't. It was sort of countercultural to do that. It drove other people crazy, and that was fun! We can know so many things these days that not too many things are a surprise anymore. This is one surprise that's great no matter which way it turns out. So, my vote is for not finding out. (My husband agrees 100%.)

Reesh said...

We sort of found out accidentally with Lily when we didn't really want to know. We got a really clear crotch shot in the ultrasound and there was no penis is sight. But we never had it confirmed so I spent the whole pregnancy completely unsure of what I saw. I am really enjoying not knowing AT ALL this time round (I closed my eyes when the sonographer passed over the crotch shot at our ultrasound). I just think it's going to be so fun to have that surprise when s/he is born.

As for intuition, I have none. My mom swears she knew me and my sisters were all girls, even when the doctor told her my sister Kyla was a boy in the ultrasound. I don't have that kind of gutt feeling. But it's hard not to feel out of touch with all the people around you telling you that the heartbeat is high so it must be a...and you're carrying low so it must be a...and your pregnancy is sooooo different from your last so it MUST be a boy!

Besides, I knew i always wanted a girl, and now that I have her I REALLY don't care care what we have next. I think a boy would be awesome - a little Devinder and all that. But a girl would be great too cause then Lily would have a sister and I love my sisters so much I couldn't imagine not having them.

Allison said...

You have to do what's right for your family but we didn't find out with our first child.

Let me rephrase, we accidentally found out at 36 weeks but then my husband and I just kep it to ourselves.

It was so much fun to not know and the families had fun guessing too. Actually they were going crazy but that was fun for us.

As for naming the bump, you'll come up with a non-gender specific term of affection for it.

There are tons of really cool neutral nursery themes and what baby doesn't look good in yellow?

Don't do it!!!!! Enjoy the mystery, surprise and wonder of it all.

Allison said...

I forgot to mention...

If you decide not to find out, make sure you tell your Dr. (and nurses)so he/she can write it on your chart. You also have to tell the ultrasound people that you don't want to know.