38 Weeks

In the spirit of my early posts... here we go:

Symptoms:
Swollen feet, hands, face.
Feeling of being HUGE (as a house)
Exhausted
Hip Pain (as in a million little daggers in my hips when lying on my side)
Braxton Hicks contractions all over the charts
Mood Swings (major ones... as in, I'm crying one minute and laughing the next.)
Decreased appetite (yes... this one is odd my friends, I have developed an inability to decide what to eat)
Baby wiggling and squirming a lot

okay, that was my attempt at being funny... looking back... not so much! Just wanted to give you guys an update to say:

No, I'm not in labor.

Yes, I'm still pregnant.

Yes, I know that the longer the baby is inside me, the healthier he'll be.

That last comment? If I hear it one more time... especially from the mouth of a MAN... who will never experience pregnancy, and can never fathom what it is like to carry a 6+ lb human being inside of you.... I think I will simply go completely crazy.

I am very, VERY aware that the longer my child is in utero, the better. However, if you have a penis.... you have no business telling me, a very, VERY pregnant lady this... especially when she's about to go insane from waiting on this baby. That is like me telling you that the more I kick you in the manly bits, the more you'll get used to it, and the better it is for your manly bits(although I realize that kicking you in the manly bits isn't good for you... at this point, it feels like it's the only way I can get my point across).

Again, I repeat to the men in the back.... DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT tell me that:

1) "All good things are worth waiting for."
2) "The longer he's in there, the healthier he'll be."
3) "I'll bet he doesn't come until after his due date!"
4) "Wow, you look like you're ready to pop!!"

IF you fail to comply, you may wish to purchase yourself a fancy athletic cup....Consider yourself warned...