Two Pink Lines into Motherhood

New Site

2007-11-09T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone! I've been wanting to switch to wordpress for sometime, as it will allow me to moderate comments and actually respond to your comments via e-mail. My new site is The Distractable Mommy. Update your bookmarks, as I'll be phasing this blog out and eventually deleting it. Thanks!

Clarity

2007-11-08T08:57:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted for some time because things have been a tad, oh what's the word, fuzzy? around here. Life in the past few weeks has been a roller coaster of highs and lows, and writing about it just seemed like the last thing on my mind. Two weeks ago, I gave up the ghost and quit breastfeeding. Colette was still having trouble with her digestive track, and I was growing ever more frustrated with no dairy and just the process of breastfeeding with two children under 2. We switched to soy formula, and almost immediately, we saw major improvements with Colette. She's sleeping better, her bowels have no more blood in them, and she's generally happier. I, on the other hand, have regained a tad bit of sanity (not that there was much to begin with). Forrest is now able to help feed Colette, and I'm able to take some time to myself a few days a week. Even though these things are wonderful, I must admit that it was very difficult to give up breastfeeding. When I switched Shepherd to formula at 7 months, I was ready. I needed my body back to myself. I was completely spent by the end of the day, and tired of removing myself from the room if he grew hungry to feed him. This time, however, I felt I was just getting the rhythm of breastfeeding down, and we were bonding. It was the 30 minutes after feeding that killed me, with her crying and then the dirty diapers that scared me. In the end, it was best for both of us to make the switch.

Along with that, there has been the ever increasing awareness that I haven't been able to focus as I should. Simple tasks take much longer than necessary to accomplish, and an ever growing anxiety takes over while doing such routine chores. Acknowledging this has been hard, and has spurred me to work hard on simplifying our lives and seeking help when help is needed. I have a hard time asking for help, as sometimes it feels as though I'm showing weakness. I could be alone in this, but more often than not, I find that our experiences as mothers are more alike than not. Don't get me wrong, I'm very well aware that asking for help is not weakness, and in fact shows courage and strength, but knowing that and living that out are two very different things. Often we as mothers compete with one another, and with that competition comes pretension. We fail to share with one another our weaknesses, and we miss out on the opportunity to understand that we are not alone in whatever we are going through. Our common experiences should compel us to unite, to band together, and help encourage one another through something. Blogging has helped me with that, but there are mothers out there who have no such outlet, nor do they have the close friendships with whom they feel safe to share. I am constantly reminding myself that I'm not alone in my struggles with motherhood, that it is normal to have to walk away for a minute to regain your composure, and that it is healthy to admit that sometimes, this identity as "mother" can be overwhelming and at times, feel more dutiful than joyful. There are days I daydream about working a desk job (if you knew me, you'd know that there's nothing more I hate than working a desk job) where I can get away from the kids. And I must own those moments as my own, and refuse to deny them what they are. Because more often than not, accompanying those moments are moments of clarity. Brief glimpses of why it was that we chose this path, why we chose to wreck our bodies with pregnancy and birth, why we chose to stay at home, or work outside the home, why we made this decision to become mothers in the first place. Those moments of clarity, though often short and unexpected, are like treasures to me. I live for those moments. When Shepherd snuggles into my neck before naptime and kisses me goodnight, or when Colette wakes me in the morning with a wide smile, it's more than enough to remind me that this, this, is why I chose this. If it were not hard, these moments of clarity would be lost to me, and I'm thankful for the hard times, if only because they teach me the importance of the moment.

Match Made in Heaven

2007-10-30T08:50:00.001-04:00

My Pregnant Nun, originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love this man and his creative genius? We hosted a halloween party this past weekend. Adults only (!!!!), costumes, food, and did I mention, no kids?! Anyways... several days before the party we were trying to figure out costume ideas, and Forrest happened upon the idea of a Priest and pregnant nun. Needless to say, I wasn't too thrilled about dressing up as a pregnant lady. Something about going through two pregnancies makes pretending to be pregnant not so much fun. So my idea was to reverse the roles. I'd be the priest, and he the pregnant nun. Perfect!

The party was a blast. It was so much fun hanging out with our friends without distractions (i.e. toddlers!). Don't get me wrong, I love my kids dearly, but every now and then, it's a whole lot of fun to do something without them. Halfway through the evening, the guys challenged the girls to a game of Guesstures. They promised a smackdown, and boy oh boy, was it delivered... only, I don't thing the guys meant we'd beat the pants off of them. :)

The best costume there was our friends J & T (you may remember them from my labor story... they had a son the same day Colette was born). He came as an Energizer Battery, and she a container of salt. Together, they were "a salt and battery". Speaking of costumes, I need to get some pictures of Shepherd and Colette dressed up. Be on the lookout for those pictures...

At least we know how he feels about me...

2007-10-22T14:14:00.001-04:00

At least we know how he feels about me, originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Let's hope this isn't a true indication of Shepherd's feelings for his mother....

Sad Goodbyes

2007-10-10T15:13:00.000-04:00

15 years ago, give or take a few months, I sat giddy as could be in the front seat of my parents Ford Taurus. We were on our way home, and cradled in the palms of my hands was this tiny orange ball of fluff. My brother and I promptly named him Garfield, after one of our favorite comic strips. Our golden retriever was so taken with him, that she'd attempt to nurse the cat, patiently waiting as the tiny powder puff attempted to tap the long dry wells. He was an outdoor/indoor cat who brought us wonderful little gifts such as yard moles and mice. He'd deposit them on our steps, proud of his days hunt. Other times, we'd find larger animals, squirrels and rabbits, much to my horror. I remember being so angry one time as he trotted across our front yard, baby rabbit in his jowls still kicking. When he wasn't outside, he was inside, curled up in the corner of the white chairs in the living room or on one of our laps. You could wake up on a cold winter's morning only to find Garfield had managed to take over your pillow, leaving you nothing but the cold hard mattress. He tolerated Maggie as a new addition to the family (our other golden retriever), and surprised us all by allowing Shepherd to occasionally pet him, even if it meant his tail was grabbed and pulled. He only smacked Shepherd once, and even then it was more warning than anything.

This morning, around 11, I drove Garfield to the vet. As I drove, I cried. I cried for the 12 year old girl in me, whose excitement had turned to sorrow, now... 15 years later. I cried for my brother, who couldn't be there to say goodbye. I cried for Shepherd, who would wake up from his nap at my parents and race around looking for the "TAT!!" But most of all, I cried for Garfield. He'd developed a sudden onset of Glaucoma, and was in significant pain. The only option was to remove his eye, a surgery that cost way too much for a cat as old as him. Not only so, but there was a suspected thyroid condition, and his veins were next to impossible to find. I sat there, holding him as the vet administered the medication, and as his breathing slowed, the tension he'd held from the pain let go. He quietly drifted asleep, no longer in pain. I don't know if another life exists for pets, and sometimes it seems quite silly to wish for such things. I'd like to believe that he's somewhere better... free from the pain. But if not, I pray he rests in peace, beneath the wisteria in our family's flower garden...

Goodbye Garfield... you were loved beyond measure and will be missed immensely.

2007-10-09T12:27:00.000-04:00

Me: So tonight, we were walking and he kept shouting "BOOOOOO-BIE" from the front of the stroller.

Him: Great... we're raising a pervert.

Me: No, we're raising a boy.

Beauty

2007-10-08T12:14:00.001-04:00

A Half Smile, originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Things are still busy around here (when are they not?!) but we're settling into some sort of routine. Colette is more alert these days, and we have fun sitting in Shepherd's playroom and talking to her. Shepherd walks up and says "Hi baby!" and kisses her on the head. He jabbers on with her, and just this morning, asked "Baby play?" I know he can't wait until Colette is a tad older and able to run around and play with him. Until then, we have to keep him out of Colette's crib (he's figured out how to climb into the crib) and try to teach him not to pick her up (I turned my back the other day, to turn around and see him holding her, still strapped in to her swing, and pulling at her to "Hold it!" My poor daughter...

Colette is trying to smile more and more these days. She's a very serious little girl, taking everything in. From time to time, I'll look down during a diaper change, and she's grinning ear to ear at me. She has such a beautiful smile. She's also babbling and squealing more in effort to try to communicate. She sits in her bouncy seat while I try to fix dinner, and suddenly the room is filled with grunts and squeals. I look down at her and she's half smiling, and looking around. So observant!! She's also one tall glass of water. Even though she doesn't weigh 10 lbs yet (well, she might, but last time we were at the doctors she was 9 lbs. 3 oz and that was Monday a week ago), she's outgrown all of her newborn clothes. They were supposed to last until 12 lbs!!! She's just tall and nothing could button at the crotch. I imagined she'd be a tall girl by the size of her feet, but man alive! she's growing super fast!! So fast that every moment I have to hold her, to snuggle with her, to smell her hair... I take advantage of. I want to savor this, because it passes so quickly...

How to Charm Me

2007-10-03T16:37:00.000-04:00

Tilt your head to the side, smile softly, and gently say "Hi Mommy!"

Man, this motherhood gig is awesome!!

Going Green (or at least trying)

2007-10-02T16:37:00.001-04:00

I haven't blogged much lately, mostly because it's too crazy around here what with two kids to keep track of, huge piles of laundry to wash, floors to vacuum, tables to dust, and bathrooms to clean. With all of that, who has time to sit down and blog? As I type, Shepherd is conked out, and Colette is content in her swing, allowing me a few moments to myself.

A few weeks back, after changing my 12th diaper for the day (I'm only counting one child here, and yes, this was before 5 pm) and tried to jam it into the overflowing Diaper Champ, I stopped a moment to think. This was the second bag of diapers that we'd filled that week (tall kitchen bags, mind you) for only one kid. I thought of those diapers headed off to our landfill only to sit there for 500+ years and never decompose. I'd thought about it before, but had been able to justify such waste (or at least ignore it) based upon convenience and lack of resources to justify an upfront purchase of cloth diapers. I'd not really thought of the total cost for one child, much less two. That evening, I sat down and did some research and figured we could save a TON of money by switching to cloth full time. Especially switching for both kids. Granted, it required a large initial investment, but within 5 months, the cloth diapers would pay for themselves.

Not only would we save money, but we'd be able to reduce our carbon footprint and help do our little, meager part in saving the environment. We'd already switched our lightbulbs out for new, energy efficient ones, as well as to quit using warm or hot water for our laundry to cut back our power bill, so this was the logical next step. I went ahead and purchased several pocket diapers and some prefolds with covers. I figure we'll use the prefolds at home during the day, and pockets for outings and for overnight.

Yesterday, I received my first batch of diapers in the mail. Eager to try them out, I washed and dried them, and slapped them on my kids bottoms. Shepherd looked at me, puzzled as to this glorious softness on his bum. He kept grabbing his diaper, and smiling at me. Colette could care less for what i could tell (I mean, come on, she's a baby!). So far, so good... Shepherd made it overnight in one of the pocket diapers without a leak (and he's a heavy wetter at night). Colette had a poopy diaper that was completely contained by her diaper. What remains to be seen is how Shepherd's diaper holds up to his blowouts. I'm still waiting on the prefolds and covers to come in, so I'm doing laundry like mad to keep them in the cloth diapers, and hang drying them to save on energy in the meantime. Any of you have experience in cloth diapering? Tips? Favorite brands? Washing routine?

Anywho, I've probably spent way too much energy and time researching diapers and obsessing over them (just ask Forrest), but now that they are here, I can breathe out a sigh of relief, and just sit back and smile as I watch my lil' punkin' butt run around like this (I'll get a picture of Colette up as soon as she'll let me take one of her without her screaming in the picture):

For your Viewing Pleasure

2007-10-02T08:34:00.001-04:00

Syntax

2007-10-02T08:19:00.000-04:00

The other day, as I changed Shepherd's diaper, he smiled, waved downwards, and said, "Bye-bye ni-ni!" Yes, we have our first two word sentence, but somehow, I'd hoped for something other than waving bye to his "ni-ni".

(By the way, that's not what we're calling it... we've decided to use the proper words)

(And another note, we aren't planning on showing him that video either... that dude just plain creeps me out)

Birth Story: Part 2

2007-09-24T11:06:00.000-04:00

We arrived at Triage around 11 and were greeted by my friends J and T, walking the halls. Forrest and I went on to check in, and once we were hooked up to the monitors, found my contractions to be every 4 minutes, lasting 1 minute. I was checked, and was 1.5 cm, 60% effaced, and -2 station. Not wanting to send me home, they had me walk the hospital halls for an hour to come back and be checked again. We walked, and walked.... and walked....... I had to stop and breathe through the worst contractions, rocking side to side, holding on to the railing on the wall. After an hour, we went back, and rested. We tried to get some sleep (to no avail), and at 1:30 am, I was checked again. Thankfully, I'd made some progress. I was 3 cm, and 60%. They made me get up again and walk. This time, I was able to walk with J, while Forrest and T hung back and chatted. It was quite a joy to have my friend there, going through what I was going through. Looking back, it made the whole experience that much easier.

I wasn't checked again until 5 am, and I was still 3 cm. The nurse assured me that they were working on getting a room for me. She then encouraged me to keep walking, as my contractions were now starting to space out, and we didn't want labor to stall. As we walked out into the hallway, another woman was being wheeled into triage. Her face was calm, collected, and a bit tired. I leaned in to Forrest and said something along the lines of, "she can't be in labor, she looks too good". We met up with J & T and continued to walk. 5 minutes into our walk, the nurses station bursts into energy with women yelling out things, and running everywhere. We stood to the side of the hallway, and suddenly, out of triage, a nurse runs out carrying a baby. J's eyes and mine meet, and we realize that the woman who'd just been wheeled in had delivered her child in triage. She'd checked in at 10 cm (how on earth she was as calm as she was, is beyond me), and delivered in 2 minutes, almost in the toilet! They wheeled her out of triage and to her room, and we continued to walk while they cleaned triage up.

Our wait for a room was delayed even further at this point, since the triage-delivery lady had taken my room. We waited another hour, and finally, at 6 am, I was checked in to a room. At 6:30, my doctor came in, noticed my contractions spacing out (they were down to every 10 minutes apart now) and tried to convince me to start pitocin. I resisted, asking if there wasn't another method, and he suggested breaking my water. He checked me, and I was 5 cm, 70% and 0 station, so he broke my water. Forrest and tried to get some sleep, but I was too excited to sleep.

Around 8 am, the doctor came back to check on me, and my contractions still had not picked up. He was worried that my labor was stalling, and again encouraged the pitocin. We talked at length about the pitocin, and Forrest and I talked it over. At this point, I was pretty exhausted, having not slept a wink in 24 hours. We decided that it was probably best to go ahead and at least try a very low dose of pitocin. Within 30 minutes, my contractions picked up, and around 9:30 am, I asked to see the anesthesiologist for my epidural. We had the most thorough doctor in the world, who explained all of my options for pain relief... including some I hadn't considered. I decided to go with the epidural, since I'd had a good experience the first time with it. They inserted my epidural, and all seemed to be doing well until my blood pressure suddenly dropped. I suddenly felt awful, like I was withdrawing into my body, and started throwing up. Thankfully, the doctor was right there to administer whatever medication it was that was needed to counteract the drop in pressure. He had explained the possibility of this happening to us before it happened, so it wasn't quite as surprising as it could have been. I think it helped Forrest the most, as he was able to remain calm, knowing this was a common side effect.

Around 10:45, my doctor came back, checked me ant I was 6 cm, 90% effaced, and +1 station. I was incredibly exhausted at this point. Our family had arrived sometime that morning, and we finally sent them home at 11. We told them we'd call when I hit 10 cm, and started pushing so that they could be there shortly after the birth. Once everyone had left, Forrest and I were able to sleep. We took a good 45 minute nap (a heavy, deep nap at that) and woke up refreshed.

At 2 pm, I was having incredibly painful pressure on my pelvis, so much so that I requested a second dose of the epidural medication. After they upped the medication, the doctor checked me and announced I was 10 cm. Shortly after, I felt this incredible urge to push. I mentioned it to the doctor who gave me strict orders not to, since they hadn't gotten everything set up. I had to breathe through 5 minutes of setup, which by far was worse than any part of the labor thus far. The doctor told me to try one push, as he wanted to get an idea of how long it'd take. He asked me how long I pushed with Shepherd, and I responded 45 minutes. He then smiled and said, okay, we're aiming for 4 minutes this time. I laughed, totally thinking he was kidding, and pushed. He stopped me on the count of 3, and turned and told the nurses to get ready. He turned back and said, okay, push again. We pushed through one 10 count push, and then to the count of 2 on the second push, and the baby's head was out. One final push and she was here. I was able to hold her immediately, and cried. Forrest looked at me and asked me what her name was (I'd been having second thoughts on the name, and just decided I'd wait to see how I felt when she was born). I cried, and immediately responded, "Colette Rachel". She was beautiful....

Oh, Hi!!!

2007-09-20T11:58:00.000-04:00

That's right, I have a blog, don't I? And I haven't posted in quite a while, eh? So I guess some of you are wondering what the heck happened to me (or not). You see, I have a very good reason... a super great reason, actually.

It's called being a mother to two kids who are only 18 months apart. That combined with the numerous trips to the doctor (more on that in a minute) and a serious lack of sleep have made time on the computer a rare treat, and time to blog a rarity. So please forgive my absence. I really am okay.

As to the doctors visits, poor little Colette seems to have developed a nice little milk allergy, complete with bloody stools that have sent me climbing the walls with worry. Do you guys know how awful it feels to change your daughters diaper, and see blood, and know it's your fault because you drank dairy? Granted, I know that it's not really "my fault" because I was unaware of the allergy, but still... it still sucks. So that accompanied by her reflux (our family has a history of GERD, something Shepherd had too) has had us at the doctors quite a bit. Thankfully, both problems seem to be getting better. After only 3 days on Zantac, Colette began packing on the pounds (she'd only gained 4 oz the week before, and gained 5 oz in 3 days after Zantac). Also, in the last few days, she has begun to pass stools without blood in them, which makes me feel a million times better. I've been off dairy for almost a week now, so it looks like we're seeing some improvement.

As to how Shepherd is doing, he seems to have hit a weird stage. He's Jekyl and Hyde.... one minute pleseant as can be, and the next, he's thrashing on the ground in a fit of rage because how dare I deny him a cookie!!!!! The world must end now!! God save us!!! *sigh* I'm chalking it up to the whole transition with the baby, even though he absolutely loves the baby and hugs her and kisses her all the livelong day. My hunch is that he's missing out on attention, and he's not quite able to pinpoint why that is (which, duh!! the baby!). Hopefully, things will settle back down.

But despite all of that, I feel that I've been able to transition from a parent of one to a parent of two fairly easily. Yes, we have our moments, but honestly, it hasn't been that bad. I may be exhausted, but it is so worth every minute of sleep that I'm not getting to have both of my children. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world...

Land of Nod

2007-09-07T14:15:00.001-04:00

Land of Nod, originally uploaded by meandscreech.

because I can't get over how beautiful she is....

18 Months

2007-09-04T11:06:00.000-04:00

Shepherd,

You turned 18 months old last week (or rather a week and a half ago). As usual, I was behind in writing your letter, and then something unexpected happened. Your baby sister was born 2 weeks early. So here I am, almost 2 weeks late, reflecting over the last month.

Your 18th month was hard for me, since I was GREAT with child. Your energy level had shot through the roof, and keeping up with you proved to be a big challenge. There were mornings I'd wake up crying, knowing I couldn't play all the games you wanted to play. There were nights I'd lie awake wondering how you would handle such a huge transition from being an only child, to becoming a big brother. I mourned the loss of exclusive time with you, absent of any distractions, and I mourned your loss of having our undivided attention and love. However, I was reminded time and again that this was an important step in our families lives. You would learn to share the spotlight... our hearts would grow and expand to hold all of our love for you, and for your new little sister. This was an adventure, I'd tell myself... and it will be okay.

Then, just as you'd turned 18 months, your little world was turned upside down. One night, mommy and daddy put you to bed, not knowing it was your last night being alone with them. The next day, you woke up to find Gram and Grandaddy taking care of you. Mommy and Daddy were at the hospital, anxiously awaiting your baby sisters arrival. The next day, you came to visit Mommy and Daddy in the hospital, and met your baby sister for the first time. And since then, you have loved her, and constantly beg to "holdit".

As far as you go, you continue to amaze us with your knowledge and how quickly you pick things up. It took only 15 minutes to teach you where your cheeks were, and you instantly were able to point out everyone else's cheeks. You're starting to put words together now... words like, "daddy shoe" or "daddy tool". You'll break out a "daddy hat" every now and then, and point to "daddy phone" when he's home. Now, if you'll notice a pattern, most of those words are about daddy. The only thing you point out as "mommy's" is the diaper bag or the van. And even then, you don't know the words for bag or van, so it's just "mommy!".

Shepherd, I think the thing I love most about you is the tenderness in your little toddler heart. A few weeks ago, there was a humongous wasp flying around in the kitchen while we ate breakfast. I hate wasps. They sting and hurt. So I took my sandal off, and promptly squashed that sucker flat. You took all of this in, and as soon as I'd killed the wasp, you broke into the most heartbreaking cry. You looked at me in horror, and screamed as I tried to comfort you. You'd have thought I had killed a tiny little kitten, not a venemous, evil wasp! At first I chalked it up to the loud noise of my sandal hitting the window, but then days later, as a big spider scurried across the floor, I stepped on it, and produced the same reaction from you. I guess we won't be telling you that those hot dogs you love to eat are made from "moos" (cows) anytime soon.

But by far, the best thing about this past month has been a renewed perspective of how much you really have grown. After coming home from the hospital, and holding you, I realized how much has changed in 18 months. Time has flown by, and for a moment, that first night home, time stood still as I rocked you in my arms for bed. You curled up on my chest, snuggled your face into my neck, and slowly drifted into sleep. As your breaths grew deeper, knowing you were asleep, I allowed myself a few tears... tears of joy for how much you've grown, yet tears of sorrow for how fast it has gone. I kicked myself for all those moments I had wished you'd just "grow up already!" and held you tight. I promised myself I'd try harder to enjoy each moment... to savor each and every day, because time passes so fast... and before I know it, you'll be a young man, no longer able to sit in my lap and fall asleep.

I love you, Pumpkin... with all of my heart.

Happy 18 months,

Mommy

Some Photos!

2007-08-29T10:05:00.000-04:00

Thought I'd post some updated photos of the little girl since coming home. She's so beautiful!! Things are going super great, and Shepherd is adjusting quickly to the idea of the "bee-bee" staying here. He wants to go "night-night" with Colette in her crib, he gives her hugs, and this morning, he asked to "holg it" (seriously, Justin, he said "holg it" just like you used to!!). I'm working on the rest of the Birth Story, bear with me... it's a lot harder bloggin this time around! :)

Sleepyhead!!!

Toes!!

Baby Hair!!!

Cutiepie!!

Birth Story: Part 1

2007-08-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

It started Wednesday morning. I called my friend "J" who was due the day before to see how things were progressing for her. She said after the doctor had stripped her membranes, she'd started having some mild, irregular contractions that had continued until that morning. We planned to meet up at the mall that afternoon to walk, hoping to get her contractions regular and send her into labor. We met and walked for close to 2 hours, stopping from time to time to look around a store or two. We waddled from Sears to Macy's and back again, trying to figure out if she was having contractions (this was her first pregnancy). Finally, Shepherd had enough of the walking while being confined to a stroller, so we wrapped up our walking, and said our goodbyes. As my friend walked away, I joked, "See you at the hospital tonight!!" (Really meaning that I hoped she'd go into labor... I had no intentions of going into labor that night).

On the drive home (around 4), I noticed some contractions, irregular, and strong. I sighed and chalked it up to false labor again. I'd already had several nights with episodes of regular strong contractions lasting several hours only to fizzle out, so I wasn't getting my hopes up. Shepherd and I got home, and started piddling around the house, playing with his toys, and getting supper ready. Around 5, I noticed that my contractions were pretty regular now, and if I guessed, I'd have to say they were about 5 minutes apart, not that I started timing them, because this? This was false labor, my friends. Forrest got home, and insisted we start timing the contractions. They were lasting a minute long, coming 3 1/2 to 4 minutes apart. Again, unconvinced that this was true labor, I waited for another hour. I checked again around 7, and they were still the same interval and length. I'd been timing the contractions for 2 hours, and with them not letting up, decided to call my friend "S" who has 4 children (all under the age of 6), and who also happens to be a nurse. She said for me to drink a ton of water, walk around the block for an hour, and then see if the contractions were still regular. My mom came over, and we walked. The walking only made the contractions come harder and last longer, so after 30 minutes, I was ready for a break. We sat in the living room, and timed them again, with them coming every 3 minutes and lasting a full minute. We timed them for 30 minutes, and then I realized I'd had regular contractions that I'd been timing for 3 hours now (non-timed, 4 hours). I called another friend who is a nurse at my OB, and told her what was happening. She suggested I go on in, as she knew that the Labor and Delivery at the hospital had been packed out lately, and beds were short in number. She said if I wanted an epidural (and boy, oh boy, was I going to want one), I needed to go on in. I hesitated. I still wasn't completely convinced that this was true labor, and even if it was, I probably would be more comfortable at home. But something in the back of my mind reminded me that I would most definitely want that epidural. I showered, packed my things, straightened up. Forrest packed the car, got ready, and we called my parents to comeback over to watch Shepherd.

Once we got in the car, I decided to call my friend "J" to let her know that I was on my way to the hospital, and to see how she was doing. Her husband answered the phone, and let me know that they had been at the hospital since 10 (it was 10:30) and that they'd see us in a little bit. I laughed, not believing the fact that I'd be laboring with my friend. Maybe, just maybe our children would be born on the same day after all!!

Home!

2007-08-26T05:49:00.000-04:00

We're home!!! We were discharged yesterday around 11 am, allowing us to settle in at home. Shepherd is adjusting well to the "bee-bee" and loves running up to her and rubbing her hair, saying "hay!" over and over. Last night, I knelt down beside Shepherd's high chair with Colette so that he could get a better look at her. He grabbed a piece of cheese and tried offering it to her. I smiled, thanked him, and told him Colette couldn't eat cheese yet... that she only drinks milk. He put the cheese back, grabbed his sippy cup, and tried to give it to her. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen, and I totally lost it crying. :)

So we're home... hopefully, I'll get cranking on the birth story soon. :) Thanks for all of your well wishes and congratulations. They truly mean the world to us.

Happy Birthday, Colette!

2007-08-24T12:16:00.001-04:00

(This is Forrest, Corinne's husband.)

Just wanted to let everyone know that Colette was born to two ecstatic (and very tired!) parents yesterday at 2:57 pm! She is 7 lbs. 3 oz., 20 inches long, and was born healthy and active.

Corinne is doing wonderfully, as there were no complications, and is already up and about and taking care of the new little one. She will most likely come home sometime tomorrow.

She's already begun writing about the incredible birth story and we have tons of pictures to upload. (Here's a quick pic to pique your appetite!) More to come in the next few days.

Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers!

this is it! UPDATED!!

2007-08-23T03:06:00.000-04:00

hello everyone, this is corinne's brother, justin. i'm updating you all on corinne's status, and the first thing to say is that she has been admitted at the hospital in winston-salem. last i spoke with her, she was 3 cm. dilated and 50% effaced, which means the time is most likely upon us. i'm waiting to hear word from them again, but i'm sure i'll be updating this as soon as i get word. so we're just getting ready to welcome the new baby girl into our lives!

ok so i'm talking to corinne right now. as of 1 pm, she's 7 cm. dilated, 90% effaced, plus 1 station. the doctors started a little bit of pitocin because labor was slowing down. everyone is doing fine, and corinne says "this is a much better birthing experience than the last one, even though the last one was good."

check back for more updates throughout the day.

37 weeks

2007-08-16T15:10:00.001-04:00

First off, a hearty congrats are in order for Reesh and Devinder (and of course little Lily) over at 2 Pink Lines on the birth of their second daughter, Nadia. I have to say, I'm awfully jealous of the name, since it was my number one pick for a girls name, but didn't sit right with Forrest. :) So congratulations to you all!

Second off, I'm finally full term. Which means my body has kicked into high gear with all sorts of contractions. In fact, yesterday, I had a day full of semi-regular contractions. They tapered off towards the afternoon, only to ramp up again last night. The PA at my doctor's office checked me at my appointment yesterday, and said the baby was low (between -2 and -1 station), my cervix is still thick, and I'm a "fingertip" dilated. So... there's some progress. Today I haven't had many contractions, but the few I've had were intense and put a lot of pressure on my pelvic girdle. So, we'll see when it all happens.

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are placing bets on when the baby will be born (not literally, yo, just for bragging rights) and I thought, why not include you guys in on the game?

Cathy has voted for August 28th.

Jim, for September 1.

Bear in mind, my due date is September 7, that Shepherd was born right on time, and that there's a full moon on the 28th. That is all information they are privy too, so you now have all the information needed to make an educated guess as to the birth date.

Hey, I may even throw in a nice little surprise... a gift card to somewhere or something like that. So, happy guessing!! And here's hoping I don't have to wait 3 more weeks in this heat to see this baby. :)

Early Riser

2007-08-07T07:26:00.000-04:00

So, usually I wouldn't complain about it being 7:20 am and being wide awake. If you'd asked me a month or so ago, I'd have told you it was pure heaven to sleep until 7:00. But see, the thing is, Shepherd has been sleeping in until 8 or 8:30, and some days even 9:00. I know... you hate me, right? And today, I'm really not complaining about Shepherd waking earlier, because really, that would be incredibly unfair.

Today... I'm annoyed at the neighbors stupid burgler alarm that went off at 6:20 this morning, and didn't stop for a good 10 minutes. So I've been up since then, unable to go back to sleep... yet trying so hard, as Shepherd was still sleeping. But now, as it's 7:30, I can hear him through the monitor, talking and laughing at his toys. I know I should go get him... but would it be so bad to let him play in there until he gets cranky? Because these eyes? Just won't stay open any longer.....

Hot and Hott

2007-08-06T12:48:00.000-04:00

So last week, while hanging out with some friends at Starbucks, I was suddenly struck by the urge to, well... you know, potty. I get up, and there in the seat is the most beautiful ass-print of sweat. I'm totally rocking the ass-sweat look these days, it's HOTT!

I bring this up because it's a relatively new thing to me, this butt sweat thing. I've poured over my archives with my first pregnancy, and nowhere do I mention the massive amounts of sweat that pour out of my body. I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that my 9th month being pregnant was in January, and this time around, it's smack dab in the middle of August. Not only so, but it is HOT outside. This week temperatures are supposed to soar into the upper 90's (Wednesday, 98 degrees... heat index 104) (I'm sweating right now just thinking about it).

It's so hot, that I'm only taking cold showers now, and even those I'm dreading because I have to blow dry my hair. Yes, I have to. Otherwise, it'd be days before my hair would dry, and even then, it develops this funky smell and feel to it. So on the days that I do shower (which isn't often enough) (I know, you were just DYING to know that) my internal thermostat gets so out of whack that I can't seem to get cool. Just last week, I almost passed out at church from the heat... even though everyone else said it was rather cold in the building. The doctor checked me out Monday and said he thought it was a combination of heat, the baby not dropping and sitting in my ribcage, and sitting down that did it, so no more Sunday morning showers for me.
In other news, the baby seems to have dropped. We'll find out Friday if any progress is being made, but I've had some pretty rough Braxton Hicks contractions, accompanied by some wonderful pelvic pain from the baby engaging. I keep hoping that I'll be a little early, but then I realize that these last few weeks are the last weeks that Shepherd will have my full attention... so I'm trying to give him 100% attention and do as much as I can with him, which is getting harder and harder to do, being 9 months pregnant and all.

Well, I'm going to go curl up in front of the fan on our bed and take a quick nap while the little man is down for his. I'd better enjoy the rest while I can!!

Expanding

2007-08-02T15:22:00.000-04:00

Exhibit A: 22 weeks pregnant

Exhibit B: 27 weeks pregnant

Exhibit C: 35 weeks pregnant

17 months

2007-07-20T08:48:00.000-04:00

Shepherd,

I sit here typing this as you sit beside me, eating your breakfast and chatting away. Some of what you say makes sense, and other words are just groups of syllables strung together that sound convincingly like a foreign language. At times, you talk about the man in the picture hanging on our dining room wall, the one of the old man with a beard praying. You used to point to him and make your sign for beard, and smile proudly. Lately, however, you've been pointing to him and signing "bear", which is comical, since I'm sure if the old man were real, he'd be quite burly and bear-like.

The other day, I bought you a pair of knock-off crocs (yes, mommy is cheap and refused to pay $25 for a pair of shoes you'll outgrow in no time). You absolutely adore these shoes, and each morning, you wake up chanting "sue! sue! sue!" By the time I reach your room, and get you out of bed, you're begging to put them on. You love all shoes, quickly pointing out our shoes, and always trying to put our discarded shoes back on our feet. There is one problem, however. Your feet can get quite smelly during the course of the day. This has led to a fun game at diaper time, where I take your shoes off, smell them, and proclaim "stinky!!" You love this game, and you try so hard to put the two words together. Last week, you succeeded as you removed your shoe, smelled it, and proclaimed "stinky sue!!"

Your climbing skills have accelerated so fast, that I can't keep up with you anymore. I've found you standing atop the coffee table, dancing on the kitchen table, and most recently, scaling the brick wall in our sunroom, only to perch yourself precariously on the window ledge. I beyond terrified to find you there, and it prompted numerous neurotic google searches on "when to transition from crib to bed". I'm terrified you'll climb out of your crib and fall and hurt yourself, however, you've shown no interest in climbing out of your crib, and are usually content to be in there. However, those google searches did show me that you are growing up so incredibly fast. You're one month away from being 18 months... exactly one and a half years... and I'm amazed at all that has changed.

I'm so excited to be a part of this journey with you. I'm blessed to be with you daily, to watch you grow, learn, and explore the world around you. I could not have asked for anything more fulfilling than this... being your mommy. I love you little man.

Happy 17 months!

-"Nonny"

Prayers

2007-07-16T20:30:00.000-04:00

Please be praying for Sam and baby Thomas. For an update on both of them, click over to Debi's site.

Monday News

2007-07-16T15:52:00.000-04:00

Because I'm lazy... we're doing bullets today:

-Click over to It's a Wonderful Life!! for some awesomely awesome news from Sam at Sunday School Rebel.

-Shepherd has chickenpox. Yes... he was vaccinated. No... I don't know where he go it. Yes... it's a mild case. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be bothering him too much.

-My 32 week checkup was today. I'm measuring 33 weeks, and my cervix is "soft". Perhaps my hunch that this lil' one will be a tad early is correct. We'll see. Everything checked out fine, and I've been instructed by the OB to find a pool and swim 3 days a week to relieve the pelvic pain I've been having. You don't have to tell me twice!! :)

-Our house is immaculatly clean. Forrest and I spent all day Saturday cleaning. The only thing that's out of place is the two piles of laundry to be folded that are on my couch. Once they're gone... my house will be perfect. Let's see how long this'll last.

-Hearty congratulations to Chris and Beth who sold their house.

-Shepherd is still down for a nap, so I'm going to go catch a few zz's before he wakes up. Hope you all are having a wonderful Monday!!

Wide Open

2007-07-12T12:51:00.001-04:00

Excited
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

This past week has been a crazy week. Crazy-good, not crazy-bad. Shepherd is more and more mobile (if it's possible) and runs until he is worn slap out. I mentioned the climbing yesterday, which is still going on, and then there's the running. Lord have mercy, the running. I watched him this morning as he ran around the playground, and it honestly looked as though his feet never touched the ground. He is so fast, and wide open. Yes, there are moments I gripe and complain about how active he is, but for the most part, I am so grateful for his energy. He keeps me busy (which I so desperately need) in addition to keeping me in shape. I had a co-worker of my mother's tell me today that I was one of the few pregnant women she'd seen actually get skinnier while I was pregnant. Granted, she didn't mean I was fat before, what she meant was that I'm all belly, and every other part of me seems to have either shrunk due to weight loss, or shrunk in comparison with the monstrous belly that I have. It's true... I feel huge, even though I have 57 more days to go (roughly 8 weeks). The only downside to getting huge is that it is harder and harder to keep up with the little man. I'm wanting to chase him around the house, to crawl around with him, and play, but more and more, it's difficult to get down on the ground and then get back up. Not only so, but by late evening, I'm so sore around my pelvic girdle, it's all I can do to get undressed. Have any of you gone through this with a very active toddler while pregnant? Any suggestions on things to do (bearing in mind the TV does nothing for him, and neither does quiet sit-down activities such as drawing or puzzles)? I try to get out and do something every day, mostly for my own sanity. If we do decide to stay home, I usually find my house in complete disarray by days end, books strewn everywhere, toys littered throughout the house, making pick-up a not so pleasant task (remember? the pelvic pain?). My options right now mostly involve the play area at the mall that's fenced in. I'm debating having Forrest and my Dad fence off the backyard (which wouldn't take TOO much to do, as one side is already fenced in). I'd love to go to the park, but Shepherd's way faster than I am, and I cannot keep up with him. Maybe one of these days, we'll get a jungle gym type thing for the backyard, get the yard fenced in, and I can just watch him run and run and run from the comfort of my own backyard, while sipping virgin daquari's and enjoying my huge, pregnant belly.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

2007-07-11T09:34:00.001-04:00

He Did this All by Himself...
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Shepherd has totally figured out how to climb onto the coffee table in the living room. Not only does he do this, but he'll get up there, spin in circles getting dizzy, completely unaware of the dangers of being dizzy at such heights. Oh yeah, and this morning I caught him on the kitchen table, after turning my back for 10 seconds to stir the oatmeal on the stove. Am I screwed or what?

Weekend Recap

2007-07-02T13:42:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, we traveled to the mountains of NC for a little getaway with my parents. We took Shepherd along not really knowing what to expect. He was wonderful. I am constantly amazed at my son and his ability to engage people. We had so much fun playing with him, and just resting in the little cabin on the side of the mountain. It didn't matter that Shepherd had a nasty cold, I had bronchitis, and Forrest was getting the same cold Shepherd had... we were on the side of a mountain, with a beautiful view of the valley below. We spent time reading, hanging out, watching reruns of LOST (we officially got my parents hooked), and taught Forrest how to play Rook. How anyone goes through life not knowing how to play Rook is beyond me, but nonetheless, he picked up fast, and we had a fun time playing a few hands (although, we still need to play a "real" game, cut-throat and all).

This morning, after Shepherd slept in until 8:40am (I KNOW!!! He actually slept in!), we headed to the pediatric opthomologist. We'd noticed that one of his eyes seemed to be wandering and at times, he appeared cross-eyed. My mother, my father, and my mother-in-law had all noticed too, so I knew it wasn't just my own paranoia. We took him in, and got his wee little eyes checked. Turns out he has Pseudostrabismus, a condition where it only appears he has crossed eyes, but in reality, he doesn't. Everything checked out wonderfully, including his eye exam to check for other problems. Poor thing had to have his eyes dialated. The nurse had me fill out paperwork, while Forrest took Shepherd in with the nurse for the eyedrops. I don't know what was worse, being in the room holding Shepherd while he screamed, or hearing his screams through the closed door as I filled out paperwork. I'm sure they were both equally horrific. But in the end, everything was fine, and we were relieved to find out my son has no vision troubles. :)

Well, little man is waking up from his nap... hopefully, his eyes have started to go back to normal and we can go outside! :)

16 months

2007-06-27T09:28:00.000-04:00

Dear Shepherd,

Last week you turned 16 months old. The further along we go, the closer these months seem to come together. This past month has been filled with fun. You constantly want to go outside and run around or play in the pool. Your energy has just shot through the roof, and you run at breakneck speeds across the yard, through the house, or wherever else your little feet will carry you. It's hard for mommy to keep up with you, especially with the growing baby in mommy's tummy.

You have learned a lot of new words this month, and you're even better at communicating with us than ever before. When asked what mommy has in her belly, you make the sign for baby. We're not sure you completely understand the concept of a baby in mommy's belly, but you often will pat my belly and smile at me. This week wee pulled out a lot of old baby toys such as the swing and the bouncy chair, and you've had a blast playing with them. You'll often grab a book and sit in your swing reading the book. So many changes are ahead of you as your little sister plans to make her grand entrance, and sometimes I worry about how you'll adjust. I know you'll love her, as you're so good with other kids and other babies. I guess I'm most worried about how you'll handle the change in attention you get. As much as I'm looking forward to your sister getting here, I'm also trying every moment to hold you close, and give you extra love, as I know the days of you being an only child are numbered.

This month you've really enjoyed the water. We're very excited about this as it seemed for a while you were terrified of the water in your bathtub. With the introduction of your pool, the sprinkler, and the ocean, you have completely overcome your fear and now are totally enthralled with any type of water. You would spend hours in the pool if I let you, climbing in and out, and then back in again. You run through the sprinkler giggling and squeeling, hands up in the air trying to catch the water. The ocean, however, has proved to be your favorite. You absolutely love the sand and the waves, and you run through the water stomping your feet and splashing everyone around.

Shepherd, you continue to amaze me. Being with you every day is such a joy, it's hard to imagine my life without you.

Your smile is so contagious, and your laugh, whoa boy, your laugh makes my heart just explode within my chest. You are constantly amazing us, and constantly changing. I love you so very much,

Happy 16 months, Doodlebug,

Love,
Mommy

Stuck in my head

2007-06-26T09:27:00.000-04:00

Great... I've got the corniest, cheesiest dumb song stuck in my head. At the mall this morning, while checking e-mail and watching Shepherd run crazy around the play area (seriously folks, I'm in love with this play area) they played Hungry Eyes, and now I cannot get the song unstuck. Between that and this weekend's movie rental, Children of Men, everything seems to get stuck in the quagmire of my mind. (That movie, by the way, one of the best I've seen in a long, LONG time)

My brain is just a bog right now, and forming intelligent thought requires so much mental energy (that I don't have), I'm often reduced to sounding just like Gomer Pyle. In fact, I believe this post is the most intelligent thing I've said in the past 48 hours. As a result, I've been particularly down lately. With my brain fried and with Shepherd showing strong preference for other people when they're around (he refuses to be held by me if daddy is home), I feel a tad useless around here. I know this will all change come September, and I'll be needed around the clock by a tiny little newborn.

At least I have managed to do something productive. Last night, I sewed my own sling. I found the design online (Jan Andrea's Sling Ring), ordered the proper safety rings, picked out some fabric at a local store, and made my own sling! I was quite proud of myself, especially when I was able to use it with Shepherd this morning. :) Makes me that much more excited about the baby coming. I may actually attempt to sew a few more slings, for extras or for friends, as it was nice to actually use my mind at something for a change.

Well, I need to get Shepherd home for a nap... hope you all are having a wonderful day!! (Hey, if you could, make sure your blogger profile allows e-mails, and if not, and you comment, let me know your e-mail addy so that I can respond to your comments).

Open Letter to the Psycho in the Pacifica

2007-06-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

Dear Crazy Lady,

You do realize that there are such things are rear view mirrors, right? And you realize that if those malfunction, you can glance over your shoulders to check behind you, right? I ask this, because it would seem you have no earthly idea how to drive. I was carrying my 16 month old toddler into Target (and 7 month belly), when you decided to grand prix out of your parking spot while I walked directly behind your car. I don't know how you missed seeing me, as I'm the size of a cow right now, on top of the fact that I was hauling my toddler. But nonetheless, you continued to back out, despite my screaming, "HEY! HEY!" to you. I nearly fell backwards trying to get out of the way. I finally got out of your way, as you continued to back up, unaware that you'd almost killed me, my son, and my unborn child. I looked, and you were busy chatting on your cell phone, completely oblivious to your rearview mirrors and all. Then, you pulled back into your spot.

Crazy lady... you weren't even LEAVING! You were just straightening up your car, which honestly, didn't need to be straightened anyway. I looked around as I clutched my toddler in a death grip, and saw 10 witnesses, with mouths agape, so I know it wasn't my fault. Maybe next time, slow down if you're backing up and for the love of God, please use those rearview mirrors!!!

Sincerely,
The Big, Ol' Pregnant lady you almost hit

Wash Away

2007-06-18T18:20:00.000-04:00

Somewhere in the corners of my heart and mind are tucked away memories of years gone by... Memories which have lay hidden for years, covered in dust and draped in cobwebs, untouched. Some memories are hidden in dark boxes, shut tight with padlocks and chains, hoping never to be opened again. Others, simply set aside, and forgotten. Nothing important happens to us which we can truly forget... it's just stored away, and possibly brought out from time to time to be remembered. And other times, we're jolted back to those memories, only to have to let them go, to wash them off, cherish them, and say goodbye to the other people we shared those memories with. Last night, I found out that my first boyfriend, someone I truly loved, was killed last month by a drunk driver. He was walking his dog when the driver hit them. He passed away 7 days later, leaving behind a wife, his parents, and sister. He was only 27 years old. And so, yesterday, I spent the evening holding my husband close, and rocking my son to sleep as breathed in the sweet smell of his soft hair.... and I was reminded how fragile this life is. And as I move forward with my present life, I'm also dealing with the memories... and mourning the loss of the one who shared those with me.

Requiem for Sleep

2007-06-18T08:40:00.000-04:00

The past several nights have been tough. It seems as though our little girl really likes to boogy at night, and not only so, but prefers to lie sideways. Each night, I've tossed and turned as I tried to get comfortable, switching places with Forrest several times. He's been more than understanding, and has done his best to help. I know I'm entering the third trimester, I just didn't think I'd be this uncomfortable this soon. Now, I know that this is my body's way of getting me ready for midnight and early morning feedings, but honestly, it's not the sleep that I miss so much... it's the comfort of being able to lie down, stretch out, and feel good. Oh well, soon enough, soon enough. Only 12 more weeks left.

Friday I had my Glucose Tolerence Test. I sat next to a woman who was taking the 3 hour test. She was huge... and by huge I mean pregnant huge. (I always hate it when people point this out, so pardon my hypocrisy). I asked her how far along she was, and she said she was 32 weeks. Only 4 weeks ahead of me. And suddenly it struck me. I'm not even at the height of my girth, yet I feel enormous. With the two hottest months of the summer left, I may find myself bathing in tubs of ice and eating gallons of ice cream in single sittings. But somehow, I know I'll manage. If I could just get some goood sleep....

Bringing in the Big Guns

2007-06-14T14:36:00.000-04:00

I totally lost my mind last night. I was cleaning out a drawer in the kitchen that holds our cooking utensils, since it was overstuffed with one too many spatulas. How we've accrued so many spatulas in our short 3 years of marriage is beyond me (actually, I blame it on Target, who failed to update our registry whenever someone bought us an OXO spatula, and refusing to accept a return without a gift receipt). Anyways... So there I was, cleaning out the drawer, when what to my horror do I discover, but tiny little black "things" littered throughout. Bending closer to inspect, I quickly realized that my entire word was being flipped on its head. The mice... had crossed a line.

Our previous attempts to eliminate the mice have resulted in mass failure, aside from the one tiny baby one we caught. After we caught and disposed of the mouse, the others seemed to get the message and high tail it out of here. We hadn't seen droppings in weeks, and now, as if they'd gone out recruiting an army, they were back.

My nightmare was only beginning with the cooking utensil drawer. I inspected our silverwear drawer, only to find droppings in there. I cautiously opened the tupperwear cabinet, only to find droppings in there as well. With each door opened, my stomached lurched further and further up my throat, until I could take it no longer. I sat in a puddle of tears in our kitchen as I thought of all the dishwashing I'd have to do to sanitize everything. Through my tears I grapsed at my stomach as I thought of the previous few days and the numerous times we'd used our silverwear and cooking utensils.

I picked up the phone and called my landlord. I begged them to please come over and look at the number of droppings themself, to assure them we weren't just dealing with one mouse. To their horror, I was right, and thankfully (God bless them) they called the pest control people to come out and deal with the problem. As I finish this post up, the exterminator just pulled up in the driveway. Pardon me while I go let him in, and possibly kiss him, as I am so happy he's here.

Oh yeah, and does anyone want to come help me do dishes? Or should I just throw them all away and start over again?

3 Year and Still Going Strong

2007-06-12T17:01:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we received a beautiful card in the mail wishing us a happy anniversary. My first reaction to the card was to laugh and mutter something about our anniversary not being for another few...

oh crap...

"It's tomorrow isn't it?" I thought to myself. Quickly I called Forrest to weasel out of him if he'd remembered or not. I quickly asked him what tomorrow was, and he paused, thought long and hard, and then laughed. "It's our anniversary isn't it?" he said. "So you forgot too?" "Yes... I'm so sorry!" he said. We both had a good laugh over forgetting, and made last minute arrangements to go out tonight, while my parents babysit. Living close to family ROCKS!!!

So anyways, this brought us to question. Is this something that happens to everyone with children or is it just us? Last year was easy to remember. Shepherd was just a litle baby and we were on vacation with family who insisted we go out for the evening. This year, I remembered our anniversary was coming up way back in April, and meant to make plans for it and all, but just forgot. Somewhere between chasing Shepherd off the dining room chairs (he now climbs them all the time) and begging my second little angle to pu-lease settle down a tad, because no one likes a dancing fetus in your RIBCAGE...I kind of forgot about the whole shebang.

I guess in the end, it's not that big of a deal, since we actually remembered before our anniversary, even if only a day before. All that said, I am so incredibly fortunate to have such a wonderful partner and husband in Forrest. I cannot even imagine living my life without him. With him, I feel safe, loved, accepted, and at home. I am truly blessed to have him, and my love for him grows daily. Thank you for 3 wonderful years, honey. I love you! Happy Anniversary!!!

The Trouble with Thumbkin

2007-06-11T20:01:00.000-04:00

I am totally not going to make it through my kids learning to talk without getting the giggles and teaching them bad words. Today, a friend came over with her son. As we sat there, eating a snack, her son yelled out, "Where is F**kin'?!"

Eyes bugging out of her head, his mother, horrified, quietly asked him what he just said. He repeated, "Where is f**kin'!?" louder and clearer.

My friends eyes met mine, and together, we totally lost it laughing. I walked away from the table laughing, as my friend tried to figure out what on earth he was really trying to say, when it finally dawned on her. He'd learned the song, Where is Thumbkin earlier in the day, and was having trouble (no kidding!) with the word Thumbkin. After several moments of pleading with her son to stop, and with his escalating screams of profanity followed by exhilirated giggles, we finally were able to convince him to stop cursing, if only by convincing him that Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star was WAY funnier than Where is Thumbkin.

27 weeks

2007-06-05T10:28:00.000-04:00

I still can't believe how fast time is flying by. I realized today that I'm in my 27th week of this pregnancy. In just a few short days, I'll be in my 28th week. Crazy. The baby is kicking up a storm. Last night, I watched as she did summersaults in my belly, making everything move. Forrest watched in amazement too, as she shifted from side to side. She's quite an active little booger, very much like her big brother was during my pregnancy with him. And much like her brother, she hates being balled up, and stretches out as much as possible, leaving my ribs already bruised only 27 weeks into this pregnancy. Despite the similarities, there are a few differences. I'm carrying lower this time, and my belly is alot more "pointy". With Shepherd, I had a very round and even belly, but with our little girl, I'm noticing odd angles, and bulges at random areas. Either you truly do carry different with girls than boys, or I weigh less this time, and can see more of the baby than last time. It's hard to believe that I only have a few months left before she's born. It seems like only yesterday I found out I was pregnant, and her I am, starting to waddle and moan about back pain. Before you know it, she'll be here!!

Wicked Witch of the West

2007-06-01T09:14:00.000-04:00

This mouse thing has totally turned me into the Wicked Witch. With several nights of no dead mice in our traps, Forrest and I rigged several traps up with cheese jammed into the trigger. Forrest rigged a few traps to be hair sensitive, and as we left the kitchen, I caught myself rubbing my hands together, murmerring, "I'll get you my pretty, and your little buddy too!". The next morning, we awoke, and voila! DEAD MOUSE!! Of course, my stomach totally flip flopped, and and I had to recruit Forrest into disposing of the beast, but alas! The mouse is dead. I did a little victory dance around the kitchen whilst singing, "Ding Dong, the mouse is dead, the mouse is dead...." and so on. We seem to have caught our critter.

That said, I still feel ridiculously filthy when I walk in my kitchen. Granted, I've scrubbed the counters down pretty good, but for some reason, I feel as though it could be slightly more sanitary. So out with the Clorox wipes, and enter the straight up clorox solution. I plan on spending my afternoon with clorox, gloves, and a tiny toothbrush to clean out every possible crevace these vermin may have touched. Wish me luck!

Beach Bum

2007-05-30T20:11:00.001-04:00

So Sweet
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

This past weekend, we spent at the beach... we had such a wonderful time with Shepherd, we cannot wait to go back again. He absolutely LOVED the water, squeeling and laughing as he stomped through the tide pools. He'd run and run through the water towards the ocean, falling a few times, but getting right back up and running some more. Nothing scares this child... not even big waves (well, they did at first, but he got over it quickly). We had a blast watching him run and play. We also spent some time at the Aquarium and enjoyed looking at all the fish and turtles. He put his new signs for fish, turtle and boat to good use, and by the end of the day, was pointing at every fish in sight, signing fish. So cute! All in all, it was a good weekend...

Check out more pictures on flickr by clicking on picture above.

These are some Dadgumed Lucky Mice

2007-05-30T07:59:00.000-04:00

Total Mouse Traps = 6
Bait = Peanut Butter

Dead Mice = 0
Mouse Traps licked clean = 6

Seriuosly, what are we doing wrong?

15 months

2007-05-29T12:07:00.000-04:00

Shepherd,

Wow... I hardly know what to write about, since this last month has gone by so incredibly fast. And on top of that, you are changing so much every day, that it's nearly impossible to document what new things you know.

You've begun to repeat everything we say. E-VER-Y-THING. In fact, the other day, while we were riding in the car, I was joking with your daddy, and said something about someone acting like a jackass. No sooner had the word left my mouth, I heard this little voice from the back seat say "Jaaaa...", as though you were trying to say the word. Of all the words I had said, that was the one you'd picked to repeat. We now know that we must be incredibly careful what we say around you.

You're also picking up more and more words for body parts. You have known where your eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and hair are for a few months now, but recently added elbow, knees, feet, toes, and your favorite, bellybutton. You're quick to show anyone your bellybutton, and quick to point out their bellybutton to them by lifting up their shirts. I'm amazed at how quickly you learn now, as opposed to even a few weeks ago.

You also are learning new words every day. You have so many words and signs that I cannot keep track of all you know. This weekend, you learned the sign for boat and bird, mostly because we were at the beach and you kept pointing to both of them, as if to ask what they were. You picked up on the signs immediately, and were fascinated with every boat and bird you saw. At the aquarium, you squeeled and laughed at all of the fish. You even came up with a new sign all on your own. After seeing the big sea turtle swimming in the tank, you raised your arms up and flapped them around, just as the sea turtle was doing to swim around in the water.

Your sense of humor has really come out this past month, and you laugh at mommy and daddy when they do silly things. A silly face from daddy makes you giggle like crazy, and a silly dance by mommy makes you laugh out loud. You love to entertain us, and will dance and "shake your booty" when we ask you to. When we have company over, you love to do silly things to make them laugh, and the more they laugh, the more and more you love doing the silly things. You're quite the ham, and love being the center of attention.

I look back over the past 15 months, and realize how much things have changed. I've been doing a lot of thinking about when you were a little baby, probably because you are going to have a little sister this fall. I keep thinking what she will look like, and try so very hard to remember what you were like at that age. It's so hard to remember, even though it wasn't that long ago, but the one thing that sticks out in my mind about that time was how impossible it seemed that you'd ever reach the age that you are now. I want to remember that, because it's so hard to enjoy those first few months when it seems all you did was poop, eat, and sleep. I want to remember because when your sister comes, I'll feel the same way. I hope and pray that I don't wish those first few months away wishing she were the age you are now. I have to remember that it took that long for you to grow up, and that I wouldn't change it for the world.

I love you little man... more than you will ever know. Happy 15 months!

Love,
Mommy

Long Weekend + Best Headline of the Day

2007-05-25T15:02:00.000-04:00

We're heading out of town for a long weekend with my father-in-law, which may or may not include lazy beach combing and lots of sand and sun. I'll be sure to post pictures when we get back, as I expect to have lots of them.

I'll leave you with the best headline in the news today... or at least the one that cracked me up:

Rogue toddler destroys monks artwork

Because, seriously? Rouge toddler?? I thought that word was reserved for secret agents or something of the sort, although if you think about it, it wouldn't be that surprising if these little guys weren't secret agents, conspiring to drive their parents absolutely insane!! :)

Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!!

Of Mice and Corinne

2007-05-22T08:09:00.000-04:00

I like to consider myself an animal lover. I've always had a special place in my heart for animals of all kinds (bugs don't really count). If the animal was furry and cute, I was in love. Of course, there are your usual housepets I loved, dogs, cats, gerbils, hamsters, rabbits, chinchilas, and so on. Then, of course outside animals, cows, horses, donkeys, pigs, anything on a farm. I even thought house mice were cute, and was one of the few in my 8th grade class who didn't freak out when a little grey mouse decided to sit in on a math lesson. I just figured he wanted to learn.

However, in recent years, I've found myself more and more prone to hate certain animals... yes... certain furry animals. Our old apartment was over-run with stray cats. At first, I felt sorry for the little cats, and tried my best to get the animal shelter to come out and catch them. Then the female cat had kittens. "Hooray!" I thought, "now the kittens will get management's attention and the animal shelter will catch them and they will be adopted!" Much to my changrin, the kittens were not captured, and instead, grew up and started having babies of their own. One time, a little kitten crawled up in my engine and got stuck. Thankfully I heard the kitten before starting my car, and managed to fish the little guy out. I called animal control to let them know I'd caught one, and they came out to collect it (they'd come to collect animals, just not trap them). Yet, even after talking with the animal control officer, they did nothing. Our apartment was overrun with cats, so much so that we began tracking fleas inside. In to where my precious baby, my beautiful 7 month old baby was learning to crawl. I started down a path I'd never thought I'd go down. I started hating those cats. I'd hiss at them, stomp at them, I was angry at them. But more than that, I was angry at the woman downstairs who refused to stop feeding the cats, thus keeping them around.

Thankfully, we moved away before I ever snapped, and I went back to loving animals again, even stray ones. Several weeks into our new home here in NC, we had a little visitor. A little grey mouse had gotten himself caught in one of our ceiling lights. We carefully trapped him (and his fried little buddy) in a trash can and promptly did the humane thing to do.... released him into the woods across the street. Problem solved. Or so we thought.

This this past saturday, we were cleaning the house, and I decided to do more than just a standard wipedown of the counters, and move everything off and scrub really good. As I moved the flour/sugar/tea canisters, I noticed little black droppings everywhere. Upon closer inspsection, it was obvious we had more visitors. This time, it wasn't just one. Angry that our little friend hadn't appreciated my saving him from proper drowning in the toilet, and instead had brought back a party, I set out to the local hardware store. We purchased two traps that looked easy enough to use. Gone, I thought, are the days of the old fashioned wood traps that are near impossible to set. In their place are the new plastic, easy to set traps. We purchased two and set home, gloating in our smart purchase, hoping to wake up the next morning with two dead mice. That was not the case. The little buggers still ran around our kitchen (as evidenced by their droppings everywhere), yet didn't venture near our traps.

The next night, we set the traps out again, this time with pieces of cracker set down deep in the trap. We awoke the following morning only to find our traps cleaned out, and little cracker crumbs strewn about the counter along with fresh mouse droppings. Infuriated, we headed back to the hardware store, only this time to purchasee some poison, because these mice just HAD TO GO. We set out the poison, inspired by the hardware store man who went on and on about how mice LOVE to eat this stuff, and how quickly they'd be gone. Just for safe measure, we set the traps out again, this time, baited with peanut butter. This morning, we awoke to find our traps cleaned out again (they licked the stupid trap CLEAN) and the bait/poison untouched.

I am beyond insinced. I have no idea what to do now. I may go out and purchase 50 old fashioned wooden traps and line the walls and counter with them, hoping a bloody massacre of mice will happen. Have any of you had this problem? I'm at my wits end cleaning the counters off every morning with clorox, and I'm trying very hard not to think about where else these little vermin may be roaming.

25 weeks

2007-05-21T09:36:00.001-04:00

This morning, as I was showering, I realized that I only have 15 weeks left in this pregnancy. Only 15 weeks?! Where has the time gone? I'm definately feeling more and more pregnant, as my belly has popped out. It's harder to bend over and pick up Shepherd, and near impossible to get comfortable sitting or sleeping. The little lady is kicking up a storm, and her patterns are pretty predictable. She almost always gets to going around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, with a flurry of activity right before I go to bed. Earlier this week, I started having some pretty intense Braxton Hicks contractions, enough to where I called the after-hours nurse, who told me to call back if they continued after another hour, or if I experienced more than 4 contractions in one hour. Of course, I'd already had 5 that previous hour, and told her that. We scheduled and appointment the following morning just to double check everything and make sure nothing was progressing. I met another doctor from this new practice and liked him a whole lot. He was so wonderfully nice, and reassuring. Everything checked out, and the baby is doing great. He said since I had early contractions with Shepherd, that I'd probably have even more with this one... especially since everything has already stretched out once before. The babie's heartbeat was super strong, and my weight gain is wonderful (so far only 8 lbs, but I'd lost 6 pounds the first trimester, putting me only 2 lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight).

I'm getting more and more excited about this pregnancy. It's not that I haven't been excited, it's just so hard to focus on being pregnant when chasing after a 15 month old. It's much easier now to focus on being pregnant when my belly is in the way of chasing and running after Shepherd, making it a challenge to keep up with him anymore. I'm having to find more creative ways of corraling him so I don't have to run after him. Thankfully, our mall has a wonderful play area for toddlers that's completely closed in. They also have free wireless, allowing me to type this entry while Shepherd runs screaming around the play area climbing everything he can. Another bonus? No one seems to know that the play area opens early in the morning, so no one is here. So here I type, on free internet, and not having to chase my son around, only glance up from time to time to check on where he is. Whoop, gotta go!!! He's on top of the slide!!

Good Reading

2007-05-14T17:41:00.001-04:00

Good Reading
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

Nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" than seeing your son enjoy a good book...

Ever wonder if He liked Milwaukee's Best?

2007-05-13T21:32:00.000-04:00

While perusing the shelves of my mother-in-law's vast collection of books, I stumbled across a book that looked quite interesting. I laughed aloud at the title, and pulled it off the shelf.

Imagine my dissapointment when it wasn't a book about Jesus' childhood obsession with beer, or better still, a guide to Jesus' recommended brews. Instead, I found that the authors name was Beers, and that it was poorly placed on the spine. Still, at least it made for a good chuckle.

I've Created a Monster...

2007-05-08T11:33:00.000-04:00

A Strawberry eating monster...

14 months

2007-05-07T09:16:00.000-04:00

Shepherd,

A few weeks ago, you turned 14 months. I know, I know, I'm a little behind in the monthly newsletter, but this blogging thing is getting harder and harder, as it is way more fun to play with you. More and more, you are developing the most precious and wonderful personality, making it harder and harder to put to words how you've changed.

This month, your vocabulary has taken off. You learn signs very fast, and you're not afraid to try out new words. Just last night, you were carrying your toy remote around, and held it up to me as if to ask what it was. I told you it was a remote. You paused, looked at it, and slowly but very confidently repeated "meh-mote". The pure wonder in that moment of you repeating back to me what I'd just said can never be described. I sat there in amazement, begging you to say it again by prompting, "what is this?" You'd reply, "Mote!" "Meh-MOTE!" with excitement. Later that night, during your bath, you picked up a fish, made the sign for it (you just learned the sign yesterday) and then said, "ey-yee". You pointed to the fish's eye, then to your own, looking up to daddy and me for confirmation. You pointed to the mouth and said, "mou" and then to the nose and said "nuh". You know all the parts of your face, including ear "ee-yer". You also made a sign up for daddy's beard, where you stroke your chin as though you're up to no good.

Not only are you an excellent communicator, but you figure things out so incredibly fast. You know that keys work in cars and doors, and if you find daddy's keys, you either attempt to open the front door to go outside (your favorite sign right now) or you ride your tractor, trying to fit the keys in the ignition. You know that doors open by their handles, and you are constantly trying to open doors. We are soon going to have to buy some safety knobs so that you can't open them. Saturday night, Gram babysat you, and she pulled out one of Uncle Jussy's old toys. It was a workbench, complete with screws, hammers, and bolts, and the necessary tools to manipulate them. Gram showed you how to turn the screwdriver and make the screw go in. You grabbed the screwdriver from her, placed it properly in the screw, and started turning. Just like that, you'd figured it out.

This month also was a hard month. You've cut 4 teeth this month, and you're already working on your canines. This hasn't been a fun experience, but usually, you handle it like a champ. The only time that it's just too much for you is in the evening, when our day is winding down. You begin to get fussy, and very quickly, it turns into hysterical screams of pain that nothing can soothe. We try to soothe the pain, oh boy do we try. But holding you close is about the only thing that seems to help. After crying yourself tired, you wind up falling asleep, and then amazingly you then sleep 13 hours straight, without as much as a peep from you. The only thing we figure is that you're just so tired from all that crying that you just poop out.

This month, you've also started helping us out a whole lot. You're fascinated with the broom, and help mommy sweep the deck off. You also love helping us dust the coffee table. But the most fun we've had cleaning was when we washed the car in the from yard. You grabbed a rag, and helped us wash the dirt off. You weren't sure about the water coming out of the hose, but that didn't stop you from exploring how it worked, even if every time the water came out, you cried and ran for one of us.

But all in all, you are a brave little boy, venturing out in the yard to check new things out, climbing on top of everything you can, and learning to slide off the bed feet first. You love dogs, and cats, even if Garfield, Gram and Grandaddy's cat, hissed at you after you grabbed his tail. You love other kids, and love playing with them. You make friends with everyone you meet, and have never met a stranger.

I only hope that this next month holds as much joy and fun as this last one, as it seems every month gets better and better. I know everyone always says that it gets better, and as cliche as that may sound, it is so very true. I say that every month, but I can't help it. I love you little man... keep up the hard work of learning, and never, ever give up.

Love,

Mommy

Ramblings

2007-05-02T16:23:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've reached the point in my pregnancy where I'm starting to show. Overnight, it seemed as though my belly has exploded, and with it has come the increasing uncomfortableness. Chasing Shepherd has become a chore, and picking him up isn't much fun either. However, when I have moments like this, alone, with Shepherd asleep, I'm quite fond of the little bump, and can hardly motivate myself to do anything other than veg out on the couch and watch TV. I know that right now, I need to fix dinner (or at least get started) or vacumn, or dust, or clean the bathrooms, or do SOMETHING productive, since Shepherd keeps me from doing such things when he's awake. I could blog during these times, but seriously, that involves way too much thought and effort, so I'm surprised I even got a post up today.

I'm way behind on Shepherd's monthly letter (he'll be 15 months before I know it). Part of me doesn't know what to say, because, seriously, there is SO MUCH TO SAY! He's into everything, running, climbing, talking, signing... the whole shibang. His favorite signs right now are "outside", "cat", "dog", "shoes", "more", "food", and just recently, he added "moon". He's babbling up a storm, and can now say dada, mom, cat, dog, shoe, food, tree, moon, uh-oh, night-night (only if prompted), hi, bye, fish, nose, eye, ear (we think), yay, grandaddy (only it sounds more like dada with some garble at the front), and his favorite word, "That". It's so amazing how fast he's learning. I showed him the sign for shoe yesterday (he already knew the word), and he went on to talk about shoes all day long, pointing at his shoes, at my shoes, pulling my shoes off, or hauling our shoes across the house. In fact, there are currently 4 pairs of our shoes in the living room that I should probably put away, but... nahhh... :) T

his morning, he woke up in a bright and cheerful mood, asking for food almost right away... which, how do you other moms do it? I feel so lost for ideas of what to feed my son. Usually, I scramble an egg, and then give him some fruit. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with the whole food thing. Lunchtime is the same problem. I know he'll eat a hot dog (all beef only) and more fruit, but I cannot seem to get him to eat any veggies. Green beans? gross... Peas? perfect for throwing... Carrots? gross... Asparagus? fat chance... About the only veggie I can get him to eat is technically not a veggie... an avocado... and those suckers are pricey!!! Any suggestions on mealtimes to make my life a little easier!?!

I promise I'll get some new pictures uploaded soon, including one of the ever growing belly. I just need the proper motivation...

One Sunday Evening

2007-04-30T13:21:00.000-04:00

Last night, after visiting with my parents and some family friends, we headed home. As we pulled into the driveway, and stepped out of the car, there was an eiree feeling about the house. I stepped into our sunroom, and immediately noticed the door to our house standing wide open. Had Forrest simply forgotten to close it, or had someone been in our house.... or worse, was someone in there now? I checked the doors to the sunroom, which normally are locked, and the back door was unlocked. Panic set in, as I turned around, to re-enter the garage where Forrest was sitting in the car chatting on the cell phone. I explained to him what I saw, and he quickly ended the conversation. Armed with a 2x4 (I almost suggested nailing a few nails into it), he checked our house, room by room. After declaring the upstairs all clear, my heart began to settle down, at least until he went to turn on the light in the basement. The light would not work. Weird, I thought, we were just down there before we left, and I thought it was working. I begged Forrest not to go down there alone, so we locked the door, and called my father and his friend to come walk down with Forrest to check.

At this point, my mind is careening with the possibility of a psychopathic murderer hiding out in our basement, waiting for the perfect moment to emerge and torture us while we slept. I steadied myself, and begged my mind to calm down, and to think rationally. As my heart slowed, and my mind laughed at how rediculous we were being, a car drove by our house. Nothing particularly unusual about this car, as it was an old Crown Victoria, and we live in a neighborhood populated mostly by white haired widows and widowers. "Just someone coming home from church," I told myself. I watched as the car drove down past our neighbors, and then turned into a driveway two doors down. "Weird," I thought, "that guy only owns a black lincoln." When the car backed out of the driveway, turned around, and started heading back our way, I first was worried that someone thought we were locked out. Only, at the moment I thought that, a light from inside the car flashed, as the driver attempted to light a cigarette. The light allowed enough clarity to realize that the driver was not an aging widower, but instead, a rough looking young man, with a passenger in the back seat. As they slowly drove by our house, Forrest and I glanced at one another, immediately aware of what we needed to do. Forrest dialed 911, as I sat in our car, waiting on the cops to arrive. I was shaking, and Shepherd sensed my fear and started crying. He was tired, as it was well past his bedtime, so I hushed him and tried to sing him to sleep. My parents arrived shortly afterwards, which helped, and soon after, I began to feel ridiculous for my fears. The police arrived, and checked everything out, moving from room to room carefully.

As they checked the home, my dad reminded me of what had happend to a widow down the street only a few years ago.
She'd come home to a dark house, and as she entered the house, two men held her at gunpoint, robbed her, then drove off with her car. As he relayed the story, I grew more and more convinced that we'd done the right thing calling the police, even if it was something as silly as us forgetting to shut the door on our way out. The police emerged, and stated that they could find nothing, that everything had checked out okay. Either we had scared the thief away, or we'd forgotten to shut the door ourselves. I offered sincere apologies to them for having to come out, but they waved me off, thanking US for calling them. "You can't imagine how many calls we get from people who've walked in on something and ignored their instincts" they told us, reminding us that we'd in fact been correct to call them. I felt better. But learned a valuable lesson in locking up.

As we went to bed last night, locking all the doors, and deadbolting those we could, we went to bed, slipping into a deep sleep, thankful we were safe, and grateful for the men who stepped into our scary, yet silly situation, and helped us feel safe.

My Son, the Champion Teether

2007-04-25T14:49:00.000-04:00

Shepherd decided recently that cutting teeth one at a time was for sissy's, and in the past 2 weeks has cut 3 teeth (I kid you not). Two of them being molars. The kid went from 7 pearly whites, to 10... and if that wasn't enough for him, there are two more cutting as I type.

This one fact alone has led me to believe that I am actually raising two boys, trapped in one body. There are days where my son is the sweetest, most lovable, agreeable child, taking two beautiful naps, and behaving beautifully, so much so, I almost fully expect him to poop rainbows and smiley faces. On other days, he's an all out terror, willfully defying everything I say, mocking me (yes, he's now mocking me when I say "no"), and screaming bloody murder if he does not get his way. Granted, I'm fully aware that these days are the days that his teeth hurt the most, but man alive! Does he drive me crazy on these days. I've found that my best bet is to distract him as much as possible, playing outside, and letting him run himself ragged, and then doping him up on Motrin before bedtime for the pain. Most nights, he'll sleep fine, but occasionally, he's up at 2 am, screaming about his teeth.

But the reality is that through it all, I actually don't mind the teething so much. You see, ususally, Shepherd wants nothing to do with me during the day. He's too busy climbing on things, pushing and pulling on toys, running, and generally being a boy to care about mommy. Then when daddy gets home, you'd think that the biggest celebrity had walked in, and he wants even less to do with me, pushing me away when I try to get kisses. It's been a hard adjustment, to go from being the one to cuddle and hold him, and be the only one he wanted, to being close to chopped liver. I know that it's a stage, and that it doesn't reflect his true feelings towards me, but it's been kind of hard. That is, until recently, with the teeth. You see, it's those during those 2 am scream-a-thons that he wants none other than Mommy. It's when his teeth hurt really bad during the day that he wants to cuddle and be held. It's when he conks his head after attempting to climb something that he cries out for "Momma" and buries his wet face into my neck. It's those moments that I feel needed once again. Those moments that I feel important. In a way, it sounds awful, as though I'm looking forward to my son hurting, but that's not true. My heart breaks along with him, and at times, I sit there and cry with him as he screams, holding his hand to his mouth, unable to understand the pain, and wishing I would take it away. It's just that these are the only moments he seems to need me right now, and I'll take what I can get.

As Promised...

2007-04-23T14:34:00.000-04:00

Cute little mouth:

Cute little mouth (with notes):

Precious Face:

Precious Face (with notes):

Little Arms:

Little Arms (with notes):

We Decided!

2007-04-20T15:13:00.000-04:00

Thanks to all of you who chimmed in with your experiences. It was really fascinating to see how other families have done different things. Last night, Forrest and I talked a long time about it, and we finally came to the conclusion that we'd find out. Mostly, I was having a hard time feeling at "peace" with not knowing (I'm so very impatient) and that Forrest could get excited about finding out. So today we had our ultrasound.

We went in, and as the ultrasound tech started looking, she asked if we wanted to find out. We said yes, and she went on looking. She first checked major organs and such, and in the process kept refering to the baby as "he". I asked her, are you using "he" in the general sense. She said, yes, that she was sorry, but she did that with all babies. Our lil' "bump" refused to open it's legs, and it wasn't until the very end of the session that the bump spread it's legs wide open to reveal that.........

It's a girl!!! (pictures to come tonight)

To know or not to know...

2007-04-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

That is the question. Forrest and are are currently trying to decide whether or not to find out the sex of this baby. We found out with Shepherd, and it made it a lot easier to pick out a name. Not only that, but once we did have a name, I could refer to the "bump" I had by that name. However... there are so few surprises in life, so wanting to experience the joy of knowing when it happens is another consideration. Right now, I'm leaning more towards finding out, since I'm a person who likes to have answers. I couldn't stand for my doctors (or at least the Ultrasound tech) to know the sex, and for me not to know.

What are your experiences with this? Did you find out? Did you not? If you didn't... how did you bear those last 4 months not knowing??? And did you have a "hunch" that was right on?

Inquiring minds want to know

Boys

2007-04-18T11:22:00.000-04:00

This has to be one of my favorite pictures of Shepherd (photo by Forrest). It's everything he is... ON...THE... GO! I love the tractor in the background too, because Shepherd is fascintated with tractors... with cars.. anything that screams boy. :) I was always terrified to have a boy, but every day, I love my little son so much more.

Almost 20 weeks...

2007-04-16T11:29:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend, we attended my cousin's wedding, which involved a long drive in the car, and a sleepless baby refusing to sleep a wink that first night we were there. I woke up Saturday morning, the day of the wedding, feeling awful and grumpy. We ate breakfast and as I got ready, I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. Imagine my surprise as I gawked into the mirror at my belly that had suddenly sprung out of hiding, announcing to the world that I was most definately pregnant.

All day at the wedding, people congratulated me and touched the bump, patting it ever so gently while commenting on how busy I'm going to be. Granted, I don't normally mind the touching (or at least I didn't with Shepherd), but what irks me is the constant reminding (from strangers) of "just how tired you'll be with two". I'm well aware that I'll be tired. I'm well aware of how hard it will be with two this close in age. It's almost as if these strangers are clicking their tongues at me, saying "tsk tsk, what a foolish woman for getting pregnant so soon". I'm constantly reminding them and myself, that this was a planned event. Forrest and I wanted children close in age... because we both had siblings who were close in age. I don't mind the advice from my mother or my mother-in-law, because they've been there. And... they support us. They know what it's like to want children close in age. They made that decision for themselves. I never feel as though they are looking at us as though we are foolish, as other people do. Oh well...

The wedding went wonderfully. Shepherd had a blast dancing on the dance floor to the music, and flirting with everyone who'd look his way. He is such a ham!! Every time the crowd would clap, he'd clap and yell out "YAYYYYYY!". Too cute! After a long day at the wedding, he finally crashed and fell asleep in my arms (something that hasn't happened in a very long time). It's amazing how much you miss those little moments, and looking back, I could kick myself for wishing he'd sleep in his own crib instead of my arms. How quickly things change. I'm hoping with this second one, I'll pause to appreciate those moments more.

13 months

2007-04-04T10:10:00.000-04:00

Shepherd,

A few weeks back, you turned 13 months. We were right smack in the middle of our move from Northern Virginia to North Carolina. This past month has been a blur, mostly because so much has happened in such a short period of time. You continue to amaze me with new words and new skills.

You now can point to things you need, but mostly, you point because you're curious as to what things are called. You point and look expectantly at your daddy or me, waiting for the right name of the thing you're pointing at. It's a fun game we play, where we'll point out something to you, then you point out something to us. Every trip in the car is a fascinating adventure for you, with you pointing at everything as we drive by.

This month, it seems you've cranked your charm to eleven, and boy, oh boy, can you turn it on. Everywhere you go, you flirt, wave, and smile at perfect strangers. With your grandparents, you lean in to give huge kisses, even adding the "mmmmmmmmm" sound before a kiss. With daddy and me, you crack us up at every meal, playing peek-a-boo (and yelling "AH!!" when you remove your hands), making silly faces, and just jabbering away about something. Your personality is really starting to shine, and the more it shines, the deeper I fall in love with you. No longer are you just a baby like the other kids, but you are uniquely you. No one else is like you, and I love that!!!

Your daddy took a week off between jobs to help move and unpack, and during that week, you quickly became a daddy's boy. You followed him around the house, banged on things when he hammered nails in for pictures, you studied every move he made, and quickly became very attached to daddy. You wanted nothing to do with mommy during this time. If mommy asked for a kiss, you'd push her away, but if daddy wanted one... you'd pucker right up. It was great having daddy around, because we got to do a lot as a family, something we hadn't had much time for before. We took a trip up to Pilot Mountain, and we all had a blast hiking the short hikes there. We've had more time for family time, and that has made a world of a difference. When daddy gets home, you run to him, and you both play in the backyard while I get dinner ready. I know this, because I watch from the kitchen. I watch as your face radiates with joy as your daddy flies you around the back yard, and throws you high in the air to catch you. I hear your squeels of joy, as you chase one another around the huge oak tree, playing hide and seek from one another around the trunk. I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to silently watch as you have more time with your daddy than ever before.

I love you little man... and I hope that you continue to blossom into this incredible little man that you already are. I pray that you will continue to be curious, wanting to learn about everything. I hope that I always have the time to stop and point out the little tiny flowers and bugs, and that I'll be patient enough to answer every prodding little pointed finger with an unhurried response. I pray that we will be able to keep this slower life that we have now, and that we won't take it for granted, even when things get a little crazy.

I love you so very much... Happy 13 months...

Love,
Mommy

All Moved In

2007-03-28T12:14:00.000-04:00

Well, we're here!!! We finally got internet, but since we're so busy unpacking still, I haven't had a chance to update you all. Things went surprisingly well with the move, and we were actually down here earlier than planned. We loaded the truck in an hour and with a lot of help, had the truck unloaded in 20 minutes. You read that right, TWENTY MINUTES!!!!!! :) Amazing. Now the big task is getting everything unpacked and in their proper places.

We discovered something I didn't know about the house, and something I'm way too excited about. I have... and brace yourselves for this... an automatic garage door opener, with a garage I can drive into. Do you know how awesome this is? Really, do you!??! I'm way too pumped about it, and probably need to bring down the excitement one or two notches. Other than that, everything still has exceeded our expectations. We've had dinner with my folks a few nights already, Forrest's parents are coming down tonight, and his dad tomorrow night... So things couldn't be better. Well, they would if I came across a box labled "Friends from VA".

Well, back to the unpacking!!!

I'll update later with pictures!!

Friends

2007-03-21T11:20:00.000-04:00

Last night, I had dinner with Beth and Sarah. Shepherd joined us, as Forrest had to work late (poor guy is so stressed out at work, not to mention trying to get the house packed up at night). Anyways... we met for dinner and had a great time talking and laughing, and mainly watching Shepherd spaz out because it was way past his bedtime. At the end of the night, we said our goodbyes, discussing ways to get together. We hung around outside until it was obvious we needed to go . I turned and as I walked away I cried.

You never think you're going to meet such wonderful people online. I've always had the opposite experience. I used to meet guys online and date them. They always ended up being such jerks and so I grew weary of meeting people online. But I got over that, and I'm so glad I did. I've never had friends who would dare to be as honest with you as these two are. to say in the same breath, "I'm so happy for you, but so pissed off that you're leaving." I guess some people would be hurt by that, but it meant so much to me. Because I totally understand that feeling. I'm so happy to be moving home, but so pissed off to leave my friends behind. It's that honesty that makes me love these two.

Anyways, I really didn't want this to turn into some glorious lovefest about my friends, but maybe somehow this will encourage someone out there to take a step to meet someone. To open up and let go of their reservations to make new friends. Too many women out there never step ~~food~~ foot (thanks for the catch, Justin) out of their homes to meet new friends. They spend their lives alone (save for the company of their children, husbands and family) and never experience the true joy that comes with friendships. I know, because I've been there. I've stayed home, holed away, afraid of putting myself out there for fear of being hurt, slowly growing more and more alone. I'm so grateful for the friends I have now, and know that I don't have to go through this motherhood thing alone. So, to my friends.... Thank you. :)

Lost and Found

2007-03-20T16:43:00.000-04:00

They found Michael Auberry. Being from the triad area, my heart and prayers have been with his family and with him the last few days, and it's wonderful to have such a positive outcome to this story.

Crazy Busy

2007-03-20T09:42:00.000-04:00

Well, things around here have slowly deteriorated into chaos what with the packing for the impending move and all. Our house is in shambles, and my internet connection dies tonight. Yes... I will be without the net as of 11:59pm tonight... unless I can find a connection to bootleg with our wireless card. Either that or I just have a new excuse to go to Panera.

Shepherd's been sick this past week too, which explains a lot of the previous entry, what with the lack of sleeping and the general fussiness. The worst part is that it doesn't seem to be getting any better, so we're back off to the doctor's office this morning. Then it's back to the chaos of packing and trying desperately to finish the laundry so we can pack it all up....

Daylights Savings: Just another scheme to drive mothers nuts

2007-03-14T15:44:00.000-04:00

I type this sitting in my car in front of Panera bread, totally ripping from their free internet. Why am I sitting here? Because Shepherd refused his nap for the third day in a row, and in an effort to maintain my sanity, I put him in the car, grabbed my laptop, and drove around until he fell asleep. Right now, I have his favorite song on repeat, and he's zonked out in the backseat. For three days, I've not gotten a chance to nap, as I usually do. For you pregnant women out there, you know how nutty this can drive you. Not only has his nap schedule screwed up, but he's now wanting to wake up at the ungodly hour of 6 am (he was sleeping until 7 am before the time change) (so, technically speaking, he's now waking up at 5 am) (I'm so screwed).

I've read all of Moxie's posts on Daylight Savings and kids, and honestly, I'm so turned around. I figured at first I'd try the whole, he doesn't know the time has changed, he'll go down at 8, wake up at 8 (he was going 7 to 7) and all will be fine. The only problem is he now wants to go down at 7 still (6 pm before the time change) and wakes up an hour earlier. So he's sleeping less at night, and he's sleeping less during the day. The part that really sucks about all of this is that he's also trasitioning from two naps a day to one. He kicked his third nap to the curb a month ago with no trouble. I figured he'd do the same with this one, but obviously it's more of a problem than I'd thought.

I guess I should add that our lives are total chaos right now too, with boxes everywhere, and things thrown hither and yonder as we sort and pack. I'm trying not to let it get to me, so I can't imagine how it's affecting him. I'm sure he's confused as to what's going on, but there's no way for me to explain to a 12 month old that we're moving and things will resume to their normal state in a few weeks. Oh well...

At least with the time that he's not napping he's a totally cutie pie, learning so much, so fast. Today he spent 15 minutes sitting in my lap, playing with my face. I started teaching him the names for the parts, like nose, mouth, and eye, pointing out his as well. After a while, I asked him where his nose was, and he pointed to his nose, and said "nuh". So smart!! It's alarming how fast he learns these things. Over the weekend, we taught him how to sign "bunny rabbit" and he loves pointing to the bunny on the cover of one of his books, then signing his sign. Too cute!! :) So I guess I should take the good and leave the bad. Although it would be great to get a nap every now and then.....

The Dichotomy of Leaving

2007-03-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

I've started this post 3 or 4 times, and never can come up with the right words. The past several weeks have been insane, and all the things I wanted to blog about, I haven't been able to. You see, we've been in the process of looking for jobs in North Carolina. Once we found out that I was expecting in September, we realized quickly that we needed to move. We can hardly afford living in Northern Virginia with one child, much less two. Not only that, but Shepherd is getting older, and we really want him to know his grandparents. Being so far away has limited his time with them, so moving closer to home would be a huge blessing.

We started the process fully aware that it might take some time for Forrest to secure a good job. We didn't want him to take just anything, it had to be great. The first few places he contacted weren't hiring, but were extremely excited about him being back in the area (read: Forrest ROCKS at what he does and people were WISHING they could hire him) (he's going to kill me for that comment). Anyways... Forrest heard through a friend that a firm near our families was hiring. He contacted them, and immediately they set up an interview. He loved the place, he loved the place, and they made him an offer. We hemmed and hawed for about a week, trying to decide what to do. Was this the place for us? Was this it? And finally, decided that this was it. That he'd take the job and we'd move.

I told some friends that I was surprised by my initial reaction. I was excited to be closer to home, to be in North Carolina again, where the pace of life is much, much slower, where my kids will know their grandparents, and where rent was WAYYYY more affordable. Yet at the same time, I was sort of bummed to leave some dear friends that I've met, and grown close to, especially in the past few months. I know these types of friends are hard to come by, and these two are one in a million. There are many other friends we've made in the past 6 months, and they will be hard to leave as well. So in lieu of singing the Hallellujah chorus 2 octaves higher than necessary, I found myself torn between these two emotions. I love my friends, yet I hate living here. I'm excited about moving home, yet terrified I won't make new friends like the ones I have. I've offered to pack my friends up in a box and move them with me, but they objected with some excuse about having a family to take care of, or something lame like that. :)

So anyways, I guess this is all to say that we're excited about moving. When I think about the house we're going to live in (yes, we already found a house to rent!) (a real live house) (with a back yard) (and a garage) (at 25% less than we're paying for our current 2 bedroom hole in the wall) I get really excited. I can't wait to have a place to let Shepherd run around. I can't wait to be close to my mom and dad. To be close to my in-laws. To be somewhere familiar again. To be home.......

Yes, this is our real live house.... I can't wait

Busy Bees

2007-03-01T12:29:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts this week, and thank you for all your suggestions for things to do. Liza suggested some DC stuff... which normally I'm game for. Only thing is I live a good 30 minutes from the District. However, on Tuesday, I didn't let that stop me, and Shepherd and I spent the afternoon at the National Zoo. All in all it was a great afternoon. Shepherd loved most of the animals with a few exceptions. T

he toucans were fascinating at first, but when they started flying around, they spooked Shepherd a little. Then the otters put on a show for us by swimming back and forth, swimming directly at the glass. It did look as though they could come through the glass and tickle Shepherd to death (Otters are so dadgum cute!), but I guess from his perspective they looked as though they could eat him. Finally, the Tiger was a huge hit..at first. The poor guy was starving and pacing back and forth in front of the door where I guess they feed him. After a few minutes, he let out a huge roar, which scared Shepherd to death. Shepherd started screaming, and I started walking quickly away. Some idiot thought it was hilarious, and egged the tiger on by roaring back. They roared like that until I was out of sight, but mind you, had Forrest been there to walk Shepherd away, I probably would have had words with the idiot. What kind of jerk thinks it's funny to scare a baby??? Moving on... Our favorite part was the sloth bears and the fishing cat, to which Shepherd repeatedly said, "tat! tat! tat!"

Needless to say, he was worn slap out that night (I was too for that matter). Then yesterday, we went to our bi-weekly MOPS meeting at church, where he had a blast running around with all the other little munchkins his age, and I had a blast eating breakfast on my own without little man while visiting with other grown ups. Today, was Gymboree, which Shepherd TOTALLY LOVES. It was his birthday gift from everyone... and he totally made use of his time. I'm guessing I'll get a good nap out of him this afternoon.

Anyways... that's what we've been up to lately, and I'm sure one of these days I'll post something a lot less boring, but I thought I'd bring folks up to date.

Cabin Fever

2007-02-27T10:17:00.000-05:00

I think this week has been the earliest in my life that I have uttered "I wish it was spring already". I'm so tired of cold weather, mostly because I love going outside. I miss going out to get fresh air without having to bundle up as though we're headed for an artic excursion. Granted, I don't always dress that way, but dressing a toddler for outside feels as though I'm wrestling a 24 pound baby seal into a jacket and a hat. Todays high is supposed to be 53 degrees, but with snow on the ground and sidewalks, even a walk outside will be a chore. Don't get me wrong, I'll still go outside, because otherwise, I'll develop a bad case of cabin fever.

I've always been a winter person, always relishing the cold, enjoying the snow, and wrapping myself in blankets cradling a cup of hot cocoa. But this winter, I've utterly despised the cold. It's just hard to get out in with an active one year old. He doesn't seem to have the tolerence for the cold that I do (hmmm... wonder why? Maybe he's 200 lbs lighter?!?!) and gets quite fussy if he gets cold. I've gotten creative in our outings this winter, and I've tried to get out once a day. This week promises to be the best week for outings, as we start Gymboree this week, along with the other list of activities I have written out. But today? Today I'm stumped. I'm tempted to stay inside all day, but know that if I do, by the time Forrest gets home, I'll be sitting in the corner, rocking to and fro, giggling quitely to myself as I slowly succumb to the mania.

So this is where I need your help... What are some things YOU do to get out during the dead of winter? What are some activities you do around the house that get your mind off of being stuck inside(and don't say cleaning... I've already cleaned my house... I even bought a real mop!!)?

Weekend Recap

2007-02-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

This weekend was surprisingly relaxing, seeing as it included a lot of cleaning and plenty of play in the surprise snowstorm we got. We worked hard and played harder, but something about being home for the first weekend in a while with nothing to do just made it a perfect weekend.

Again with the climbing
SNOW!
Mommy and me playing in the snow
The snow was coming down so hard that after only a 15 minute walk in the snow, Forrest and Shepherd had almost an inch of snow in them!
Daddy playing with Shepherd's Doodle Pro
If only I could teach him how to use this...
More fun with the Swiffer
The number one reason our weekend was so great... the cutest kid EVER

So totally screwed.....

2007-02-23T14:33:00.000-05:00

I only wish I had a picture of him hanging (yes HANGING) from the end table this morning.

12 months

2007-02-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

Shepherd,

Yesterday, you turned one. O-N-E. That number is enough to make my head spin at all of the things that have happened in the last 365 days. One year ago, you were handed to me, a wrinkled, slimey, red bundle of pure heaven. I remember the moment I laid hands on you, and it was magical. Nothing in this life has ever compared to that moment. We'd waited so long for you to arrive, in fact, it seemed as though you'd never come. And then you came. And it seemed as though you'd always been here. You have changed so much this last year. So much, that I hardley recognize the little tiny bundle of baby in the pictures we took that day. You've developed into this wonderful and beautiful person, whose smile and laugh brighten any room.

You know how to tell jokes now... well, not really "tell" jokes, but you know what we find funny and you do those things to make us laugh. Just last week, on our road trip down to see Papa D in the hospital, you woke up in the middle of the night, 30 minutes before we got to Gram and Grandaddy's house. Those 30 minutes you spent entertaining us with a variety of raspberries and noises you've learned. Some were quite impressive! We laughed and laughed, and it was just what mommy and daddy needed on that last leg of the trip.

This past weekend, we celebrated your birthday. We had family over for cake and ice cream, and you had a blast with everyone. After a little while, though, you'd had enough of all the commotion, so we started on presents and then we ate cake. It took you a second to dive into the cake, but after a few small bites, you dove right in and smeared icing all over your face. :) It was a busy day full of excitement, and after cake, you crashed hard for a long and much needed nap.

As you were going to sleep, I sat there, holding you, and thought of all of the changes that have occured in the last year and about how much you've grown. I couldn't help but cry, not because I was sad that you'd grown up, but because of all the joy you have brought me. I've always known that I wanted to be a mother. And with your birth came the unexpected joy and fulfillment that I'd longed for all that time. You are my wish come true. I cannot imagine my life without you in it.

I love you more than I can express. Happy Birthday lil' man.

Love,
Mommy

Update

2007-02-14T12:21:00.000-05:00

Hello All...

I'm still down in NC where the weather is actually decent. Poor Forrest drove back to work a few days and found himself in a nasty snow/sleet/ice/freezing rain storm. But all is well.

I talked with his mom this morning, and things are daily improving with his step-dad. His kidney function is much better, his swelling is down... and they've almost got him completely off the ventilator. He has to wake up before they take him 100% off. The ventilator is breathing about only 4 times a minute for him, which is much better than 100% of the time. It'll take a while to wake up since the anesthesia is stored in the body, and takes a while to wear off. So, things are looking much better than a few days ago.

Shepherd has died and gone to heaven here at Gram and Grandaddy's. He has 24 hour access to a real, live D-O-G (as Shepherd would call it, the "og" or he'd just pant like the dog). Also in the house is a real, live C-A-T, "tat". That and the much needed room to run around the house and wear his little self slap out. He's slept better than he's ever slept these past few nights, sleeping from 7 to 8 am (not counting the few times he wakes up because of the MOLARS he's cutting)(MOLARS!!!!)(My baby is getting so big!)

Anyways... we've got a big party planned for Saturday, and I've still not decided what to do about the cake. I'm sure it'll come to me. Oh well, little man is almost done with lunch (I'm sitting at the kitchen table typing as he eats), so I'd better go.

Thanks again for all your prayers/thoughts/meditations!!

Prayers

2007-02-11T19:20:00.000-05:00

Hey guys,

Quick update. I hadn't written much about it out of respect for privacy, but I feel that I need to get this out. My husband's step-father had surgery last week (gastric bypass). Things looked fine at first, but there were come complications, and he's now in critical care in the ICU (on a ventilator, which is so, so, SO scary). There's so much to explain, and not enough energy to explain it... but your prayers and thoughts and meditations would be greatly appreciated. Forrest is with his mom tonight, and I'm back at my parents to get Shepherd (he spent the weekend with them while we spent the weekend at the hospital). Hopefully things will start improving in the next few days... I'll try to keep things updated...

Cravings?

2007-02-07T08:58:00.000-05:00

Our little mechanic

Good news, folks! I'm actually eating again... and not getting sick! I finally sucked it up and asked the doctor for some mild medication for the nausea. I only take it once a day (it's recommended for up to 4 times a day) and that seems to have helped a LOT so far. In fact, last night, I started with the cravings. Actually, they started Sunday at our friends Super Bowl party. One of the guys brought this heavenly french onion dip. I must have eaten half of the dip and chips. That, and they had some cans of coke. I had a coke and it immediately settled my stomach. I'd been avoiding them because of the caffeine, but my doctor suggested that I try one every now and then for my stomach. She seemed to think it might help. Which... it does, but now I'm craving coke, Ruffles, and french onion dip all the time!!!

In other news, I was getting ready for bed last night, and finally, around 11 (I know, it was way too late to be up), I just HAD it with my kitchen. So I got down on my knees and scrubbed the floors. I scrubbed because there was junk encrusted on our floor that I don't even KNOW what it was. Once I scrubbed the floors, I scrubbed the stove... then the counters... then cleaned all the junk off of our table! So today, I woke up to a nice, clean, kitchen. Do you have any idea what that feels like? That, and the laundry is done (thanks to the local laundromat where I did 5 loads of laundry in the time it takes to do one load at home). The only thing I need to do is clean the bathrooms and vacumn the entire house. Any volunteers??

I will say, I've been in a much better mood these past few days. I knew that this day would come, it just felt like it took forever. I actually have energy to play with Shepherd, I have a little energy left at the end of the day to attempt to cook dinner. It's amazing what a difference a single pill can make. :)

The only downside is that Shepherd is now cutting his bottom molars. So the poor guy is miserable. I finally got my fingers back in his mouth and felt the bulging of the molars. Poor guy! Makes me so sad. Last night, he cried and fussed for an hour solid before Forrest got home. Nothing I did helped. It wasn't until Forrest got home, and we started signing for "bath" that he got excited and quit fussing. So, while Forrest gave him a bath and put him to bed, I took a much needed break and made a run to the grocery store. It's amazing how frayed your nerves can get with an hour of your child crying. I hadn't been to the store in a while (other than for basic necessities) as I hadn't felt well enough to eat anything. But last night, it was all I could do to not buy the entire store out. I did purchase some french onion dip. I balanced my junk food purchase with a bunch of bananas. Shepherd would eat bananas all the live long day if I let him, so we go through them pretty fast.

Anyways... after shopping, I came home, where Forrest and I sat down and watched a few of my Friends DVDs. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just sit and watch Friends without commercials, and to just enjoy cuddling on the couch with my hubby (I haven't been much of a cuddler with the sick tummy). I'm so glad things are starting to turn around... hopefully, Shepherd will start feeling better, and all will be wonderful!!! :)

Baby Steps

2007-02-02T11:43:00.000-05:00

Last night.... I vacumned. Aren't you proud of me? I stood in our living room, grabbed my hair and finally screamed, "I've had it!" Only, I didn't scream... I more muttered to myself. I put Shepherd's toys away and vacumned. And it felt wonderful. And while I was vacumning, Forrest did the dishes in the kitchen. My living room was spotless this morning. It felt so wonderful to walk out into a clean living room.

My goal this weekend is to tackle the laundry. I'm sure some of you are thinking that it can't be that bad. Let me explain. Last night, I had to do one load of laundry simply because Forrest had nothing to wear. I mean nothing. At least nothing clean. Which, you know, if I don't wear clean shirts, no one knows... wait, was that to much information? I swear I don't run around every day in dirty clothes... just... you know... sometimes....when the laundry is backed up... you know... because I have a kid and I've been sick.... that's normal... right? Anyways... so I did a load of laundry (actually, Forrest transfered them from washer to dryer because I was in bed exhausted). That said, I have GOT to do laundry this weekend. Which beckons the question. How bad has the laundry situation gotten at your house? I'm contemplating taking the laundry to a laundermat so I can wash everything at one time and dry everything at one time. That's how bad it is.

Anyways... I haven't posted a picture of the lil' man quite a while, here's one post-traumatic haircut (I still haven't blogged about it because I'm just not there emotionally... let's just say it involved a lady who barely spoke english, some scissors, and massive amounts of sobbing and tears by me) and then one of my two men in the snow a few weeks ago.

Mommy promises that in a few weeks the kids at playgroup will stop calling me Lloyd

Aren't they adorable? And isn't my husband HOTT!?

The Almighty Wipeout

2007-02-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

Today was going to be a great day. We were going to meet Beth and Mia for lunch at my favorite place in all the world, P.F. Chang's. We were going to Get! Out! of! The! House! The house that has taken on a life of its own, with dirty laundry piles in the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, and God only knows where else. The house with the kitchen floor that hasn't been mopped in weeks (and has only seen the broom maybe 3 times in that time). For those of you with a toddler learning to self-feed know exactly how filthy my floor is right now. Especially when the broom misses a few peas your toddler has chucked across the room, and you slim the bottom of your foot and smear peas across the kitchen floor during a midnight raid on the fridge. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I finally managed to move the laundry that had been sitting in the laundry for the last week into the dryer (only after washing it 4 times because they'd soured, and each time forgetting to move them). That laundry has been taken out of the dryer and is now sitting on my couch, begging to be folded. The living room hasn't been vacumned since the beginning of the month, and dusting? I forget, remind me what that is?

Some of you may blame my husband for not picking up the slack. To those of you who say that, I say a hearty "Screw You!" My husband has been amazing these last few weeks (heck, who am I kidding, he's always been amazing). He now wakes up between 4:30 and 5:30 to give Shepherd his morning bottle, allowing me to sleep through until at least 7 am. He's kept our dishes clean, and he's not uttered one word about the filth we now live in. To top it off, each weekend, when I'm passed out from exhaustion from running around all week with Shepherd and growing a baby, he gladly takes Shepherd and plays with him while I sleep, and sleep, and sleep some more. And despite all of that, he's gone to work every day, worked his butt off, and comes home every night exhausted from the hour and half commute TO work, and then again home. So after spending 3 hours in a car, he comes home, feeds Shepherd dinner, gives Shepherd a bath, and then puts Shepherd to bed. So, no, it's not that.

I know one of these days I'll catch up. I feel that I'm behind in everything. Not only am I behind in housework, I'm behind on my friendships. I haven't kept in touch with friends like I want to... Normally, I'll e-mail folks several times a week, and yet, I find it utterly exhausting to sit down at the computer and type. The same goes for blogging. All I've written about is how bad I feel, but I guess that's to be expected. I feel as though I'm losing readers, who come to the site for something else, and instead leave utterly depressed, or there are those who kindly write me encouragement, and I feel guilty. Like they've written because they felt obligated to cheer me up from this hum-drum slump I've been in. I know it's not the case, but still...

I don't even know the purpose of writing this, except maybe to get it off of my chest. I so very much want things to return to a semi-normal state, where I have at least enough energy to put clothes in the laundry one day, and enough the next to mop, and the next to vacumn. My only hope is that magically, overnight, the cleaning fairy will show up and do everything for me. Who says you can't dream?

No nap Monday

2007-01-29T16:02:00.000-05:00

As I type this, Shepherd is refusing his afternoon nap, leaving one very grumpy boy and one very exhausted mommy. I finally had it with his grumpiness, and put him in his crib, where he is currently screaming because he's mad at me. I know, I'm the worst mother ever (which I know is totally not true, because sometimes we mothers just need a gosh darn BREAK).

Anyways.. I haven't been the best at writing lately, probably because the only things I can think to write about are the morning sickness, the exhaustion, and again with the morning sickness. (Ooo, the screaming stopped! maybe he's asleep?) I know you guys have heard enough of the "whoa is me! I'm sick" shpeel, so on to better things.

Shepherd is learning things super fast now. Faster than I'd expected, and honestly, I'm surprised at how smart he is. It's amazing what these little ones are capable of communicating at such an early age. On Friday of last week, we went over to Sarah's house for a playdate with Claudia, Ian, and Mia. Sarah has these two cats, which Shepherd totally ADORED. The entire time we were there, he chased them and kept calling after them, "tat!" "tat!" Yes, it's official, my son now knows how to say "cat". Over the weekend, I showed Forrest how Shepherd will wave bye-bye to the apartment when we leave to go somewhere, and on Saturday, as we were putting his coat on, he started waving and saying, "ba-ba" over and over again until we left. It's so amazing that he can say and understand that concept.

This morning, after he woke up, and spent a good 30 minutes crawling around the apartment calling out for "da-da", he finally walked into the living room, and looked at me, then turned around, leaned against the sofa, and waved to the apartment, "ba-ba". This kid is SMART! He was telling me he wanted to either go get daddy, or he just wanted out of our tight quarters. So I bundled him up, and we headed to DC. We went to the National Museum of Natural History to look at the dinosaurs and the other animals there. Shepherd was totally fascinated with everything, and would squeal out in joy at every new thing he saw. It was so adorable. After a while there, we left (I was beginning to feel sick again). On our way home, we stopped for lunch, and I ate my first "real meal" (something that consisted of something other than bacon and yogurt) in over a week. And so far, I've kept it down. YAY! Ever since, we've been home playing. I'd love to report that Shepherd is STILL napping, but no such luck... he's screaming again, so I'd probably better go...

Looking up

2007-01-25T13:59:00.000-05:00

Yay! Mommy feels okay enough to play!!!

Today things are better. I realized that my last several posts have been "poor, poor me" posts, and realize that there are many worse things that could be going on right now than morning sickness. For that I am thankful.

This morning was wonderful... Forrest brought me breakfast in bed (am I lucky or WHAT?!) A wonderful breakfast of bacon and Eggo waffles. I can't help but wonder if it wasn't that very thing that has helped me today. I was able to eat breakfast before getting out of bed, and I actually haven't been sick at all today. I've actually cleaned up a little, and straightened up the house, which feels great. I can't tell you how bad it makes you feel to see your house go to shambles when you have no energy to do anything about it.

I've been able to play with Shepherd today, which he seems to really enjoy. In fact, he's been worn out from all the walking, and the dancing we've been doing. Yes... dancing. It's so adorable. When I put some music on, he'll walk up and down the hall shaking his hands in the air and shaking his head back and forth. Either that, or he'll find something to hold on to, and bounce up and down while shaking his head. It's great... the better the music, the more he gets into it.

He's really learning SO much and so FAST! He's been signing for "food" for a while, and last week, Forrest introduced the sign for "bath" since Shepherd really, really loves his bathtime. Right after he finishes dinner and we're cleaning up his tray, he starts patting his chest and rubbing it up and down, which is the sign for bath. It's amazing that he knows that bathtime comes right after dinner. :) So smart!!!

Other than the morning sickness... I'm definately feeling more and more pregnant. I've got that heavy feeling in my lower abdomen letting me know that my uterus is growing in size... it's so exciting to think that there's a little person inside of me, growing daily, and that in a few short months, we'll get to meet this little person. Craziness.

Well, I think I'm going to go sprawl out on the couch, to take advantage of Shepherd's naptime and catch a few winks of sleep myself. Hope you all are having a wonderful day!!

7 week list

2007-01-23T12:36:00.000-05:00

Things to do:

-Eat small meals often.... check
-Purchase and take Vitamin B6 supplements... check
-Purchase and wear Sea-bands... check
-Drink Gingerale... check
-Eat Saltine crackers...check
-Stick with Bland Foods...check

Things that don't work:

-Eat small meals often
-Purchase and take Vitamin B6 supplements
-Purchase and wear Sea-bands
-Drink Gingerale
-Eat Saltine crackers
-Stick with Bland Foods

Things I've done today:

-Phoned Ralph on the big white phone
-Gone shopping
-Attempted to eat something
-Spent time hugging Johnny
-Attempted to drink something
-Practiced some more of the lateral cookie toss
-Slept
-Sat here wondering if I should try some more food...

11 months

2007-01-20T13:40:00.001-05:00

Shepherd,

Today you turn 11 months old. I feel every one of these letters starts out with some exclamation that "I can't believe you are already x-number of months old", but it's true. I can't hardly believe you are growing up so fast! This month has been a whirlwind of changes, and you've managed surprisingly well.

At the beginning of the month, we found out you were going to be a big brother. I can't tell you how excited I am to see you function in this capacity. You adore other children, smiling at them, and gently patting their hair (sometimes not so gently, but we're working on that). We are so excited to be adding a little brother or sister to your family. You see, mommy and daddy are very close in age to their own brothers, and we wanted that for you. Everyone has asked if this was "planned", which, as you grow up, you'll realize how incredibly rude this is. And our answer has always been emphatically yes. Just as with you. I don't know that anyone knows for sure exactly when to get pregnant, just as we didn't know with you... but, you and your little brother or sister, were always planned. From the moment your father and I said "I do" we knew we'd have children. We both loved children so much, and knew that one day, God would bring you into our lives. And He did... and oh, how he blessed us with you.

You are the most lovable little man I know. This month has really drawn out your personality. You love to imitate us, especially when we make funny faces at you. You laugh and giggle when I kiss you. You chatter on and on and on all day long, in the car, playing, in your high chair, in the bathtub, and sometimes, in the quiet of night, I hear you chatter softly in your sleep. I wish I knew what you are saying. Sometimes, it sounds as though you're telling a story. At others, as if you're issuing a grand proclamation. And still others, when your voice goes quiet, it sounds as though you're whispering a secret, only known to you.

You also started walking this month. Which completely took me by surprise. You had been cruising for several months, and you had tried walking from chair to chair, but showed little interest in walking until this past Monday. My theory is that you saw several of the kids your age at church on sunday, and a handful of them are walking too. So Monday, you decided to walk, full steam ahead. Thankfully, Daddy had the day off, and he was there to witness your first steps. You were playing by the bookshelf, and I turned away to put up a toy you'd been playing with. I was sitting on the floor, and I turned around, and there you were, halfway from the bookshelf to me. And you continued walking to me. I cannot describe what that moment felt like. The only way I can try is to say that it felt as though my heart exploded inside of me, and the only thing I could do was squeel and laugh and kiss you all over. All afternoon, you kept trying again, and trying again, and you did surprisingly well. By Tuesday, crawling was a thing of the past. Your main mode of transportation, walking.

With the walking, has come an incredible exhaustion for both of us. You now sleep entirely through the night, waking up at 5:30am for a bottle from Daddy before he leaves for work, then you go back to sleep, waking up for good around 7:30. This comes at a perfect time, as mommy really, really needs that extra sleep to help the little baby inside of her grow.

You've also developed a strong attachment to Daddy. You regularly look up at the picture of daddy and you in your room and say, "Dada!" When Daddy comes home, you squeal with joy and either run (if you're walking or standing) or crawl to him. When he goes out of your site or when he has to leave for work, you cry. The other night, when Daddy got home, you greeted him as usual, and as he sat down on the floor with you, you gently rested your head against his chest. You'd never done that before, and it was such a special moment that daddy and I almost cried. It was as though you were saying, "Thanks for coming home".

There are so many other things I want to say. Every day, I love you more and more, and every day, I'm amazed at what you can do. I don't want to miss a single moment with you, and find myself missing you when you're napping... wishing I could just snuggle right up next to you and hold you just so I don't miss a moment of you growing up, because, man, does the time fly.

I love you so much little man... and I always will..

Love,

Mommy

6 weeks

2007-01-18T08:31:00.000-05:00

Nobody tells you how hard it is to deal with morning sickness when your 11 month old is screaming outside the bathroom door while you throw up.

It's official... I've got a pretty bad case of morning sickness now at 6 weeks. The nausea continues all day long, and the exhaustion from growing a baby AND keeping up with Shepherd toddling around is just too much.

I think I'll go back to bed

Two vastly different but equally important things

2007-01-16T13:40:00.000-05:00

1. Shepherd is walking. He is WALKING. Like, walking around the room, without assistance, giggling, walking, and WALKING. I have video proof, but I can't locate the stupid firewire cord to upload it. But yes... he walks.

UPDATED: I managed to fiddle with the settings on my camera and took multiple shots of Shepherd walking. Not exactly film quality, but hey, it shows he's walking!!

2. Dance, Dance... YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Political Bent

2007-01-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

Without delving too deep into politics, did any of you watch last nights presidential speech regarding the ~~escalation~~ surge? Not that it hasn't been well documented here before, but I am DONE with the president. I'm tired of this war, and have not supported it from day 1. I remember watching in sadness as the first bombs fell on Baghdad. There HAS to be other ways of dealing with tyrants other than violence. Anyways... I was honestly shocked that Bush accepted responsibility for the failures in Iraq. I sat in pure delight as he took the blame. As he said that, I turned to my husband and said,

"Those Dems have really got him shook up."

After the speech, they interviewed several key senators/possible candidates for '08. They interviewed McCain, Edwards, and Obama. First up was Edwards, whom I kind of like. The only thing is he's dripping in so much southern sweetness, that at times, I feel a tad nauseus (and I'm from the south!!!). Granted, that's only a superficial thing, and as far as men go, he's top notch. Then was McCain. In the past I've loved McCain. He's been my top man for president because he always carried that aura of a rouge Republican. You kind of never knew what he'd say or do, and I like that in a man... someone who does what's right despite party lines. Lately, though, I feel like he's pandering to the religious right and the hyper-conservatives. He's not the same man that I pulled so hard for in 2000. Then... there was Obama.

He's so articulate, and had so many important things to say. I leaned in towards the TV and sighed, then whispered, "Can you please be my president?"

A Heartfelt Thanks

2007-01-10T11:05:00.000-05:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! It's so good to be able to talk about the pregnancy now, after waiting a week and a half. We didn't want to tell anyone because my brother-in-law's wedding was this past weekend, so we didn't want to take away from their special thing. :) I've been struggling to blog lately because all I can think about is the pregnancy... that, and I've been incredibly tired and trying to keep up with an almost walking kiddo.

Speaking of the kiddo, poor thing not only has strep, but now has a viral rash that's broken out all over his body. And to make matters worse, this morning, he was trying to walk, but fell and hit his nose. Normally, this would be okay, except this time, he hit it pretty hard, and there was a nice trickle of blood coming out of his nose. Nothing so far has made me hurt worse than seeing that little, tiny amount of blood trickle out. He's fine now, and he's back on his antibiotics (after a scare that the rash might be an allergic reaction), so hopefully, the whole thing will clear up soon. Poor kid is pretty miserable.

As to how I'm feeling... I'm actually feeling surprisingly okay. I'll have a sudden hunger pang here and there, and I've been sick once, but otherwise, knock on wood, I haven't had any morning sickness. The only thing I've had is an increase in fatigue and of course, I'm a bit "bustier" than usual. We figure the baby is due around September 12. We're so excited we can hardly stand it... I guess the thing I'm most excited about is seeing Shepherd as an older brother. He's already so sweet with other kids, I can't wait to see him with his brother/sister.

Maybe some of you out there with multiple children can help me out here... I think the hardest thing about this pregnancy is the guilt. I feel guilty for not being quite AS excited as I was with Shepherd, since he was our first. I know that this child won't get nearly the amount of attention, or at least he'll have to share that attention. I'm worried that I won't get as many pictures (actually, I'm positive I won't)... how do you guys handle it? Is it something that just happens, and I should just go with it? I'm also very much aware that Shepherd won't be getting the same amount of attention, so it will level off with him, too, and they will both share in our attention.

Again, thank you so much for all your congratulations... Your joy makes our joy complete, and we are SO excited to see how the next 9 months go. :)

Our New Year's Eve conversation

2007-01-09T08:59:00.000-05:00

In the bathroom:

"Am I imagining things, or are there two pink lines there?" I asked.

Forrest looked intently at the thing in my hand. "You're not imagining things." he said.

Sickly

2007-01-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official... Shepherd has Strep Throat.

Over the weekend, while we were at the wedding, he developed a fever with little other symptoms. By the time we got home on Sunday, he was refusing to drink anything, and hardly eating. A quick trip to the doctor's this morning revealed he had strep, which according to my doctor, "Is unusual in children under 1". Which, you know, is VERY reassuring. I have no idea where he got it (one could guess the germ-pit play area at the local mall with the stupid parents letting their 8 year olds run loose in the TODDLER PLAY AREA...) but whatever...

Either way, Shepherd is not his usual self, but this afternoon, seems to be doing better. He's been napping now for about an hour and a half, allowing me some much needed rest and catching up on blogs. I can't seem to get anything done lately, as I'm always tired, and we've been so busy with traveling for Christmas, hosting family for New Years, traveling again for weddings, and finally, we're back here... and settling in, with Strep.

*sigh*

Strep.... what am I gonna do???

They love each other

2007-01-06T22:43:00.001-05:00

They love each other
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

There is just too much cuteness in this picture to handle. I've got more pictures from our Mimosa and Donut playdate with Sarah and Beth that I'll get posted when we get back.

Only in the South

2007-01-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, as we drove down to Georgia for my brother-in-law's wedding, we drove by a little country store. The roof had giant letters painted on it. I did a triple take after reading it. It wasn't the first line that got me, but the second. You be the judge:

Jesus is the Way
Cuntry Cooking

(and yes, it was spelled JUST LIKE THAT)

Confessions

2007-01-03T16:09:00.000-05:00

Last night, after I'd picked Forrest up from the Metro station (stupid buses weren't running because it was a "Federal Holiday"), we swung by Staples to pick up some paper on the way home. As we got Shepherd out of his car seat, it became apparent that his diaper had reached maximum capacity, and that his clothes were soaked through. First, I felt like a bad mother, because I should have put a new diaper on him before the jaunt to get his dad. Then, I remembered that, "Hey, I'm a good mom, I have a complete change of clothes in his bag!". So off we treked into Staples. We located the restrooms and I proceeded to try to find a diaper changing table in the restroom (big fat chance in an office supplies store). After not finding one, I realized that I had an oversized changing pad in the bag (which I always leave at home). "Success!" I thought, as I laid it out on the floor and proceeded to remove the soiled clothes and the soiled diaper. I tossed the diaper in the trash, and reached in the bag for a clean one....

and reached..

and reached...

and reached some more.

Shepherd smiled up at me, completely naked, separated from a filthy bathroom floor by mere centimeters of water resistant cloth. I smiled back at him, and then laughed.

I had no diaper to put on my baby, and the one I'd just taken off was in the nasty trash, and plus, it was completely full. What was I to do?

So I smiled, explained to Shepherd that he'd have to go commando until we got home, and made him pinky promise he wouldn't do any "business" until then. He laughed, and giggled as I put his clothes on without a diaper... and off we went.

Has this happened to you guys before or am I just a bad mom who routinely forgets diapers? (This is the first time the forgetting has backfired on me)

A New Year

2007-01-01T08:25:00.000-05:00

So... um, Shepherd's walking (?!?!?!). Maybe not completely across the room, but he can stand freely and walk about 3 feet from one chair to another. This has only happened since we got back from visiting family and every day he gets exponentially better at it. It's amazing to watch him gain more confidence with each and every step. He's growing up SO fast, I can't believe it.

Last night, we rung in the New Year with some wonderful fondue and playing games. Around 11 we turned on Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve.... it was so sad to see Dick Clark struggle to form his words, but at the same time I have to applaud his courage. After a while of that, we switched it to PBS and watched Garrison Keelor's show with Emmylou Harris playing (which, you gotta love you some Emmylou Harris!). Finally, we watched the ball drop and sat around talking about all the excitement 2007 holds. It's always so refreshing to have a new start...

Happy New Year to Everyone of you!!!!

A demonstration in 5 parts

2006-12-29T17:56:00.000-05:00

How to relieve teething pain on your own.

One part cold glass:

One part proper application of lips:

Two parts sliding your face down the glass:

And one part total enjoyment of the solution:

In which I appease you with pictures

2006-12-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

We're back in VA now, but still exhausted. Thankfully, Shepherd is sleeping now, and he's on medicine for his ear infections (2!! one in each ear!! ouch!!). Here are some pictures from Shepherd's first Christmas (and using my wonderfully fun new camera!)

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T12:00:00.000-05:00

Self Portriat of new camera
Originally uploaded by meandscreech.

We're having a wonderful time down in NC with family. It's amazing what being home will do for a tired spirit. I have to say that this Christmas has been by far our best Christmas yet. A combination of being home with family, Shepherd's first Christmas, and the kick-ass camera that my husband's family surprised me with (the new Nikon D40) (Yeah, I was totally shocked and surprised, a first, since I normally guess my gifts... it's a curse, I tell you). I'm so giddy about the new camera that I've been taking a gazillion pictures. You can see a sampling over at Flickr.

Despite all of that, my favorite part of Christmas has been being home with family. It's so wonderful to see Shepherd interact and play with everyone. He's been the center of attention, and totally loves it. He's been crashing hard for his naps since he's being worn out by climbing stairs, chasing cats, chasing the dog, and just having a blast with his new toys. We've just had a great time.

We hope that you and yours are having a wonderful Christmas... and have a Happy New Year.

Bark, Bark, Bark

2006-12-21T13:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I'm not a dog, nor do I have a dog, but that's the noise echoing through the halls of our home these last few days. Shepherd seems to have come down with a nasty case of Croup that's afforded copious amounts of snot. His cough is fine during the day, it's during the night and early morning that my poor baby sounds like he's hacking up his left lung. Granted, I know we're fortunate, because he's able to sleep well still, and doesn't have trouble breathing, so that's good. It's just that my heart breaks every time I hear him cough. The other thing is that he's just not feeling well either. He's fussier than normal, and cries at the smallest things. Poor guy cried this morning because the ball he was holding rolled away. Normally, he'd just chase it, yet today, he stuck his bottom lip out, and let it quiver a little bit before the crocodile tears streamed down his face.

I just hope he starts feeling better soon, because we're traveling to see family in NC tomorrow, and nothing short of another appendectomy is going to keep me from going. We're so excited because we get to see both Forrest's family and my famiy!! Then, to top things off, Forrest's dad is flying up here for New Years, which will be a blast!! :) After that, Forrest's brother is getting married January 6, so we'll be headed down to Georgia for the wedding. We've got a crazy couple of weeks, so if you don't hear much from me, don't fret. I'll try to post pictures from time to time because, I mean, come ON... Shepherd's first Christmas!!!

Anyways... hope you guys have a great hoiday and a happy new year!!! Thank you all for your support and your kind words over the last few years. It has meant so much to me and carried me through some pretty tough times. Many hugs and much love to all of you...

Merry Christmas!!!!

10 months

2006-12-20T10:57:00.000-05:00

Shepherd,

Today you turn 10 months old. I cannot believe that you are already 10 months. I can remember when you were around 3 months old, I wondered in amazement that you'd be 10 months by Christmas, and tried to imagine what you would be like. I never could have imagined that you'd be like you are... so full of joy, life, and happiness. You are the happiest baby I've ever seen. And I'm not the only one that thinks so. Strangers often will walk up to me and comment on how happy you are. You smile at anyone and everyone, and you never, ever meet a stranger.

This past month you've developed quite a unique personality. You seem to have grown up overnight, and you no longer look nor act like a baby. You care nothing for the "baby" toys we have, and any chance you get to play with "big kid" toys, you relish the opportunity. You're cruising faster and faster each day, getting closer and closer to your first independent steps. You're a curious little booger, and you explore every tiny detail of something new.

Another wonderful thing has happened this month... you've started sleeping through the night. We put you down to bed around 7 pm (sometimes as early as 6:30 depending on how tired you are) and you sleep until 7 am. You often wake around 4 am, and softly cry for a little bit. I lay in bed, listening to you, debating on whether or not to go and get you. After a few minutes, you quiet down, and I can hear you snuggle up with your ducky and go back to sleep. When 7 am rolls around, you're ready to get up, but you're not quite ready to play. Most days I get you, and we head to the living room where we sit and cuddle on the couch, while watching the morning news. After 10 minutes of cuddling, you squirm out of my arms, and slide off the couch to play with your toys.

Shepherd, I can't begin to tell you what joy you bring me. I love you beyond what I ever thought I could. I look back at pictures of you and see how much you've grown. In those pictures I also see how much my love for you has grown. I know that no matter what, I will always love you.

You're my little man... my sweetie pie... my baby.

Happy 10 months, booger bear.

Love,
Mommy

Have I mentioned?

2006-12-19T14:44:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned how hard it is to keep up with an almost walking baby?

Have I mentioned how close he is to walking?

Have I mentioned all of the different things I've found and retrieved from his mouth, only after having a major coronary?

Have I mentioned how fast the child can crawl?

Have I mentioned how much he loves (like totally, head over heels, bordering obsession) loves the toilet in our bathroom?

Have I mentioned how long it's been since I cleaned that toilet?

Have I mentioned how hard this motherhood gig can be?

Have I mentioned how much more I love him every day?

Have I mentioned how big he's getting?

Have I mentiond....

Oatmeal Brains

2006-12-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

I'm totally a slacker. Either that or my brain has completly turned to oatmeal. I'm gonna say it's the later, because today, I drove more than halfway to Beth's house, thinking that we had a playdate today with her and Sarah. But guess what? That's not until next week. I'm so glad I realized this before knocking on Beth's door and feeling like a total loser (which, you know, is true, but I need not be reminded of this). Anyways... I've been driving around all week with my camera in my purse, trying to remember to take a picture of the house near us that has me confounded as to what to call it. I finally went out last night, leaving Forrest to watch Shepherd, and took several pictures. I may have driven around for about 30 minutes just because I was all alone, without a baby, which by the way was glorious.

So anyways.. no one has sent me pictures... which means:

A.) the folks in your neck of the woods are incredibly tasteful
B.) no one reads my blog
C.) You do read my blog, but honestly could care less about some stupid lights.

So, I guess I'll just resort to making a huge album of the tacky lights in our neighborhood. So, here's the two homes that must be competing for the tacky home award. I'd say the first one wins. How about you? Any suggestions as to what to call this??

I'm Dreaming of a Tacky Christmas

2006-12-11T09:51:00.000-05:00

Last night, after FREE! dinner at Panera (coupon!), Forrest and I were driving around looking at Christmas lights. Shepherd was passed out in the back seat, clearly not understanding or caring for the lights. Most normal people drive around trying to find beautifully decorated homes so that they can say things like "oooooo" and "ahhhhhh". But we like to buck that trend.

It started two years ago in Raleigh, NC. One particularly beautiful night, we decided to drive around town to look at Christmas decorations. That night, would forever change the way we searched for the best and brightest. You see, there was this one house, on a busy road. The home was dark, and undecorated. There were several trees in the front yard, and one giant oak tree that's branches hung over the road, forming a cool canopy in the summer, a bright ceiling in the fall, and a delicate cathedral in the winter. The tree was beautiful during the day, as it's branches stretched for the warmth of the sun from the coolness of the earth. You would never in a million years the horror that ensued at night. That cool winter's eve, we set out for a neighborhood close by that we knew would have beautiful lights. As we traveled, in the distance, we saw something bright, something shining, something splendidly horrific. This tree was strung with several strings of different color lights in a such a haphazardously way, that it looked as though an elf had vomited. I looked at Forrest and said, "Does that look like Elf Vomit to you?" He laughed, and we both laughed, and laughed, and laughed. We may have even turned around several times because, like a train wreck, you cant' help but watch.

So that evening, we drove around, not trying to find the most beautiful, but the most horribly decorated homes in Raleigh, looking for "Elf Vomit". I can honestly say that it was a million more times more fun than looking at clean, crisply decorated homes, with neatly manicured lawns. We laughed, and debated on the criteria that musts be met for something to be labeled Elf Vomit. For two years now, we have enjoyed driving around town, searching for evidence of Elves, and taking joy in others inabilities to decorate.

However....

Last night, we stumbled upon something so horrific, that we stopped our car, and sat in silence. There are no words to describe what we saw, and we have yet to coin a phrase. I had no camera, so we plan on driving by again tonight for pictures. There, before our eyes, was a house with every square inch of the yeard covered in antique, plastic light up christmas statues and other gloriously tackey moving, lit toys. The giant fir tree in the front yard was strung with lights that made the tree appear as though it was wearing a pinstripe suit. The roof was covered in lights and a giant santa with his reindeer prancing capped off the display. Forrest and I looked at one another, and looked back at the home. Never have I felt more joy than at that moment, when I gazed upon the ugliness of the decorations. It was so ugly, it was almost beautiful. It reminded me of the time my family went looking a lights, and my father would click his tongue and say, "Tacky, tacky, tacky" and I would cry and say, "But Daddy, it's beautiful!"

But this got me thinking. How many of you enjoy looking at "tacky" decorations? And surely there are those of you who have homes in your neighborhoods that are awe-inspiring in their hideousness. I though it'd be fun to collect pictures of these homes, and put together a gallery of "tackiness" for us to share in this joy together. E-mail me your pictures by Friday, December 15 at corinny[at]gmail[dot]com (replace the at and the dot). I'll try to get the album together and posted by next Sunday night. I can't WAIT to see your pictures. Also, in order to spice things up, we're going to hold a contest. Based on nothing more than personal opinion, and years of appreciation for tacky lights, the winner of this contest will receive something wonderful. I'm going to keep the prize a secret, but trust me, it's glorious. :) So get out there, get hunting, and report back here with what you find... :)

(Oh, and I'll try to get our pictures up tonight late tonight so you can see some samples).

A Love Affair

2006-12-08T14:29:00.000-05:00

I love my husband. Lots and lots. You could say I'm crazy about him. Now, before you get to thinking that this is going to be some sappy romance story about the two of us, think again. This is the nitty, gritty, day to day grind of life kind of love we're talking about. Today, I'm offering a rare, unscripted, unedited glimpse into our life. What you're about to see might be disturbing. If you are a Type A person, you may want to cover your eyes to avoid the horror of what you're about to witness.

Exhibit A: Proof my husband loves me (even though I do things like use Comic Sans to purposley annoy him, because, according to him, "It's a sin for graphic designers to cast their eyes upon such filth) (click photos to enlarge)

See? This is my mess. I would like to emphasize that it is my mess because Forrest nearly threw a fit when I told him I'd be posting these pictures. He, being the type A person that he is, was horrified that you, the internet, would witness such filth and desecration. Me, on the other hand, could care less because honestly? I've been living like this my whole life, and have yet to care who witnesses my mess. (Okay, I kinda do care sometimes, like when people are coming over and all, but this is my day to day housekeeping at it's best) (And I kind of care when it does get totally out of control, leading me to clean every inch of the room).

BUT.... there is another point of view. There are those of you out there who are clicking your tongues and saying things like, "Shame, shame" and "You have all that time at home by not working, and your house looks like that, what are you doing? Eating bon-bons and watching The Price is Right all day?" To which, I promptly respond, "You try it for one day, and see how well you handle it." Anyways... I was saying... To those of you who are wondering why my husband puts up with me...

Exhibit B: Proof I love my husband (click photos to enlarge)

Well crap...

2006-12-07T18:03:00.000-05:00

I had this great post planned for today, but since stupid blogger won't let me upload pictures, I'm at a loss for what to do. I guess you'll have to check back tomorrow for my "revealing" post. :) So check back!!!

Mmm....baby fingers

2006-12-05T13:06:00.000-05:00

I never thought I'd be saying "Don't Bite the little boy" to my 9 month old son.... what can I say, the other boy looked yummy, and stuck his finger in Shepherd's mouth.